You're Sad Because You're Voiceless (Speak Up!)

The taste of self-hatred,
With a dash of loathing.
And look at what I cooked up!
I'm no better than the dead,
Rusting in my closet...
Pleasant skin all rotten off,
Skeletons that don't go soft!

I'm the old fad for sadness.
Revived to look more miserable,
Than the poor souls who walk in stores.
Those who can't afford to buy hope...
Cause they lost their [sense/cents] for that type of thing,
Ages ago!

Let's play hang man,
I'll keep on guessing,
Till that ropes round' my neck!
The harder it gets to find answers,
The more I want to quit!
Cause I'm drowning in this sea of hopelessness,
And no one notices my S.O.S.!

I'm the old fad for sadness.
Revived to look more miserable,
Than the poor souls who walk in stores.
Those who can't afford to buy hope...
Cause they lost their [sense/cents] for that type of thing,
Ages ago!

So stitch my eyes shut!
No more garbage in and garbage out!
Cause I'm tired of my lips going dry.
Chapped; from crying outloud,
Only to feel inaudible-
But perhaps I wouldn't have screws loose,
If I didn't leave myself on mute?
Maybe if I puke this venom on the ground,
I'll have the guts to make a sound?

Maybe I could collect some change...
Maybe I could get ahead,
Instead of knowing the same shame!
Buy my own microphone,
To take a step forward...
For once,
For once!

Reviews

[Wolfwind Words]

Personally i've seen the quiet ones that stay in the back of the room end up with more then those that speak out.
I see what you're getting at thought. This didn't flow quite as well as some of your others. I felt that it pushed several issues onto the stage all at once, where each one could have had a stage all to themselves.

Then again, if it was ment to be in a song format, I could see how it might flow that way.
:)

[Abysmal Savant]

Great work here- I can say I honestly dig it. The whole vibe I can relate to, Ima have to check out more of your work- this was the first. GRAB THE MIC- GOD GAVE YOU A VOICE FOR A REASON!

[Robert Wilson]

This is clever as hell. I laughed so hard at the first 3 lines (not sure if that was your intention)

Absolute genius. Keep it up

[Jillian Ashe]

I love the hangman reference, quite good darling!

[Jazlean]

ok don't laugh but I just, with my drama ways, took this and somehow turned into a Tim Burton style musical. Seriously, I am home alone singing this aloud as someone from like-have you seen Sweeney Todd?-someone in medievil almost (well dark ages) london, amongst hustle and bustle and dark streets staring out into a world moving without them. Insane I know, but that is what first just sprang from me.

Of course then after my bit of fun playing around with a dark yet "sing-songy" tune, I looked at it in a modern sense, and I continued to love it more. (I am going to have this stuck in my head). The messages are clear and true. In order to let ourselves shine we need to voice our inner thoughts, share ourselves. If we constantly talk through others, or not at all, just live passive we may end up in a place that doesn't very well suit us. I you are unhappy with who you are, other people or the world the only way to change that is to step up and change it, let people know how you feel. If you don't say anything people can just assume that you are all kool, if you don't say anything..well that is your choice and the consiquences from that you have to take. So I liked the message that came from this ^_^.

The word play was also as usual, very well done. I liked the use of cents/sense, as there were people who couldn't "afford" to by hope, that was clever. I also really liked this verse:
"Let's play hang man,
I'll keep on guessing,
Till that ropes round' my neck!
The harder it gets to find answers,
The more I want to quit!
Cause I'm drowning in this sea of hopelessness,
And no one notices my S.O.S.!"
I dunno it was like my favourite, and made for a really good body.

The ending was good too, with the repittion in the "for once!" that shows the urgency with it, I know that feeling well as you continually fall into the same patterns the same mistakes and old bad habits and that just for once you needed to get up and change that and try and break those bonds that have been holding you all that time. However, in my "musical style" version it felt like it needed to end with the chorus, slightly modified like so:
So I'm kicking the old fad for sadness.
Trying to look less miserable,
Than the poor souls who walk in stores.
Those who can't afford to buy hope...
Cause they lost their [sense/cents] for that type of thing,
Ages ago!

speaking of the chorus, very well done (I now get your message on YIM :P)

Overall a great write!, this piece has now got my head exploding, which is a good thing because I do believe now I feel in the musical writing mood, and getting a bigger voice of mine out there!
Keep voicing yourself through your wonderful words my friend!
well done.
~Jazlean

[Tonya (the Night Writer..]

Wow, this was pretty bleak! But we can always speak up for what we believe in, few have the courage to, but that's not the same as being voicless, it's just being scared. great write!