Turning Off The Lights (Age 16)

A poem about being left alone with everyone I love gone or dead, and waiting for death to take me.

I'm crying in the light because the dark won't come
And descend upon me when my guiding lights vanish.
Now I'm left in a haze, I'm dazed, and I'm left in this
Maze where the black cats prance around me like
They're haunting me or taunting me for staying around.
Obsessing over shadow cast on cracked black stone,
Stressing for signs from some hidden source that will
Make me feel real again, let me heal again, so that I may
Gather strength and relieve myself of this burden, which,
Overstayed in welcome and patience, is becoming sore
Like a dagger that has 'come stuck in my throat, I...
I force back heavy tearful coughs in my throat, as I see
Memories of me and my family, and we're stuck in repeat,
I can't get out to stop the record playing, over and over
Again as we play in the garden with black hedgerows
Lined with black crows I don't remember being there,
But my family is not scared trapped in my sad snare
(Funnily they stare through me like I'm not quite there).
And now I'm the last person left at the party, so I
Go to turn off the lights, and...that might be a black-clad
Figure that I see stalking over there, black robe swishing
Behind it as the lights in this world go off and I close my mind.