Prologue & Chapter 1

I'm writing a book, and don't have any one to critique my work. help?

Gravel and glass crunched lightly underneath the weight of the van as it pulled slowly into the parking lot. As her mother parked, Kelsie's eyes settled vacantly on the structure of the large building outside. Music blared into her skull through the little white ear buds she'd crammed into her ears several hours ago. Strangely enough, the excruciating volume was comforting to her, making this situation slightly bearable. 

Suddenly sensing that she was being watched, Kelsie flicked her gaze quickly around, and saw her mother staring back at her. Removing the buds from her pounding ears, she stared back at her mother expectantly. 

"Kelsie honey, are you ready to go in now?"

Her eyes were noticeably wet and irritated as if she had been crying. Kelsie didn't particularly care. She nodded silently, not giving her mother the dignity of response. Clearly disappointed in her daughter's apparent lack of emotion, Jennifer twisted back around in her seat then shut off the car. Kelsie continued her staring out the window as her mother climbed out of the car. Her mind wandered aimlessly as her eyes slowly grazed over her new home for the next nine months. A slightly dingy tint of the white exterior taunted her in her misfortune. The slamming of the car door jolted her mind into reality. She was so screwed. 

Chapter 1 - Kelsie

I stared blankly at my bowl of Cheerios, mindlessly poking at them with the end of my spoon. My step-father, Roger, peered over the top of his newspaper at my display of disinterest, but did not scold me for playing with my food. Instead he shot a concerned glance at my mother, who sat quietly across the table, sipping her coffee. Acknowledging her cue, she set down her mug on the table and cleared her throat. 

"Kelsie, Roger and I have noticed a change in your attitude lately, and we're a little concerned. Did something happen at school? Boyfriend problems? We're just worried about you honey."

I stopped swirling my spoon around my cereal and raised my eyes to meet her troubled gaze. 

"Nothing happened at school mom, and I don't even have a boyfriend.' I paused hesitantly. 'I guess I've just been a little depressed lately for no particular reason. It happens you know. Nothing big."

She seemed somewhat satisfied with that answer, yet the bothered expression still lingered in the lines of her face. I seized my opportunity of silence and stood up, clutching my half-full bowl of Cheerios. 

"I'm not very hungry this morning, plus I gotta get to the library before class starts to print out a project.

My mom stood up as I dumped my dishes into the sink and grabbed my book bag off of the floor. She pulled me in for a semi-awkward hug and told me to have a good day at school. Accepting her small peck on the cheek and a farewell from Roger, I then hurried out the front door before either of them could keep me there any longer. 

My keys jingled in my hand as I unlocked the door of my car, a dinged up Sonata that I'd bought and paid for myself. I climbed into the driver’s seat, and stopped only for a second to enjoy the pleasant aroma of my car freshener mixed with leather before starting the engine. The ride to school that day was a short one. I was there in what seemed like seconds, which put a damper on my already dreary mood. After locking my car, I trudged dolefully across the greyscale parking lot, avoiding eye contact with any of the few other early arrivers. To be honest, I don't really have a project to print out in the library. I just hated coming to school and walking through the crowds of people. It always seemed that they stared me down as if I had just walked in on them talking about me. Their eyes seemed to pierce right through me like daggers. Now, the halls were mostly empty, and I felt more relaxed as I walked through them to the school's library. Even though I didn't have a project to do, I enjoyed the quiet atmosphere where I could hide peacefully. No one stared at me there if I sat alone. 

Upon my arrival, the librarian inspected from around a shelf with squinting eyes, then smiled as she recognized me. 

"Hi Kelsie, how are you this morning? Getting a head start on your summer reading?"

I chuckled lightly. 

"Not just yet Mrs. Miller. You do know that it's only just now March right? I just came in for some peace and quiet so I can hear myself think."

I plopped myself down at the nearest table as she came around the corner, holding several books in her wrinkly worn out hands. She had to be at least seventy years old. Stopping at the side of my table, she slipped one of the books down on the smooth surface in front of me. 

"This one is a little different. I read it, and thought you might enjoy it," she said with a twinkle in her old eyes. 

The title read, "Finding Alice". Mrs. Miller always had good suggestions, so I decided not to pass any judgments on it until I'd given it a chance. Maybe if I found Alice, I’d have a better chance of finding myself. I thanked her, and promised to sign it out before I left. 

"Oh honey, I know you'll be finished in a day or two, you don't even have to check it out," she said with a knowing smile. 

She was probably right. I did read faster than pretty much anyone I knew. I'd start the book later when I got home. For now, I had ten minutes to close my eyes before having to leave for class, and I wasn't about to waste them. I rested my head on top of my forearm, and allowed my eyelids to slide shut. Sleep had been near unattainable these past few weeks. Reality began to merge with fantasy, and sometimes I really had to wonder if I was dreaming or not. I’d just chalked it up to being a side effect of being stressed all the time. High school was difficult for me to say the least.

 My muscles finally relaxed, and I settled into a fog that enveloped my conscious like a cloud. It was nice here, in this soft dream-like state. My thoughts assembled together better here, and in the gentle tranquility, began to take on their own voice. Listening to my thoughts was comforting, especially when usually I was so tense that I could never just hear myself think.

A mild tugging in the back of my mind tried in vain to remind me of something...lazily I brushed the thought aside. The tugging intensified. Somewhere very far away, someone or something was making a rather unpleasant sound. It grew louder and louder, and more annoying. For Christ’s sake, what was that? Suddenly, I snapped awake. The clock hanging on the wall confirmed what I immediately suspected. The bell had just rung, and I was late for class.

I darted down the empty halls, book bag swinging wildly from one shoulder. I hated being late. I despised the feeling of walking into the filled classroom, and instantly feeling all of their eyes on me. I reached the closed door and swallowed dryly and partially out of breath. I twisted the chrome polished handle in my sweaty hand. Upon opening, the door revealed the anticipated classroom full of students already staring at me. I avoided their gaze as I shuffled to my seat. Mr. Hoffman glanced at me with silent disproval before continuing on in the history lesson. I sank down in my desk, wanting to disappear. I really couldn’t stand it when people stared at me.

Class was over, but not soon enough. I scrambled to get out as soon as the bell rang. 

“Ms. Weisner, please stay for a moment.”

I stopped reluctantly in my tracks as my classmates filed past. When the room was empty besides the two of us, Mr. Hoffman beckoned me to his desk.

“Ms. Weisner, are you aware of your current grade in my class?”

I knew that I wasn’t failing, but I’d been struggling to keep my grades up ever since I’d been having difficulty sleeping. Mr. Hoffman continued on in the absence of my response.

“Kelsie your grade in my class is suffering severely. With this in mind, do you truly find it wise to be arriving late? This is the third time this week that you have been tardy”

I shook my head. The voice in my head was bitching at him for getting on my case. I mean really, I couldn’t have been more than five minutes late. I stood silently waiting for him to dismiss me.

“If this should become a regular habit of yours, I will have to be making a phone call to your residence concerning your misbehavior. So consider this your warning.” His stern face softened into one of concern. “You’re far too bright for this type of conduct Ms. Weisner. Please see to it that your efforts toward your education improve, as well as your attendance?” 

I replied with a respectful ‘yes sir,’ and he waved me out of the room. Relieved, I quickly slipped out, and hurried on to English class before the bell rang.

Author's Note

Let me know how it flows. I need major feedback on the structure so far. I'm at the point where I know everything I want to write, but not sure how to bring it all together. Any pointers/tips/critique are HUGELY appreciated!!