Hell on Wheels

The motoring public fully embraced the new automotive technology, but what if those “safe” self-driving cars went crazy? Car wars!

                               

Joe Smith, a Chicago native, just bought himself a new 2025 Autonomous Operated Vehicle with the most advanced Artificial Intelligence self-driving mode available. His, like all the new, advanced models, do not have manually-operated controls. Voice commands, AI Information touch screen, or interface with smartphone application control these state-of-the-art cars.

Following other cities’ leads, Chicago pushed an ordinance through mandating that in 2025 all cars operating within city limits must be Autonomous Operated Vehicles.  Approval of the ordinance and infrastructure preparations went ahead despite critical outcry maintaining the unresolved potential complications.

This particular morning Joe had a business meeting across town which he knew would increase the travel time by at least thirty minutes, so in a rush, he gathered up his things and headed out to his AOV. With the meeting central on his mind, Joe settled in the passenger seat to review his notes.

“Please attach your safety belt, Joe.” The AOV electronic voice said from the vehicle’s speakers. Joe mumbled something and obeyed the command.  “Destination? Your place of employment, Joe?”

“Ah, oh! No,” Joe said, and complied by securing his seat belt. “I’m a bit distracted today.” He gathered his thoughts. “Destination, ah, inside The Loop. The Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza, sorry!”

“As you wish, Joe. There is no need to apologize. Joe, do you desire a spoken guide of Chicago’s sights? I am totally familiar with the interesting facts along the route such as the history behind The Chicago Picasso and the unique architecture of the Richard J. Daley Building.”

“No, nothing thanks. I need to concentrate.”

“As you wish, Joe; we will depart momentarily. ETA for Richard J. Daley Plaza: three six minutes.”

The AOV AI assumed control and slowly, carefully backed out of the parking space and proceeded to merge with the overly polite and orderly AOV traffic. Joe glanced out the window to see other unconcerned people in vehicles with their heads down reading e-books, doing computer work, or simply interacting with other passengers. He, like most Chicagoans, had already grown used to being driven around by their AI-controlled cars.

Most people thought the innovation simply grand and so safe, but not all people shared their enthusiasm. Joe had seen the protests at the deserted DMV where picketers protested the enactment of the mandatory AOV statute. They predicted a potential traffic disaster. Joe had scoffed at their overcautious and old-fashioned attitudes. Besides, these people only tended to be more of the rural undesirable, despicable sort who couldn’t grasp the benefits of technology and “citified” laws.

***

About the same time, Ted and Marcia Brown headed cross country in their old SUV with their two children, Kim and Randy. To beat the autumn holiday rush, they decided on an early Thanksgiving visit to Marcia’s parents in Arizona driving from their home in Virginia relying on their “good old reliable” GPS. Ted had gone on record vowing never to give in to the self-driving car craze that had spread across the U.S. over the past few years. He thought himself a safer driver than any computer-minded car could ever be.  Out on the interstate entering Nebraska, they’re making good time just about halfway to their destination. They steadily gained on a car in their lane.

“Mmmm,” Ted nonverbally commented.

“What?” Marcia asked. “Oh right, you identified another self-driving car. Well, that’s pretty obvious with that car only having a mother and two children in the backseat.”

“Yeah that, but these things�"watch, they remain dead center in the lane between the road markings and stay exactly, and I mean exactly, at the speed limit.” He gestured at the speedometer reading. “Oh and that makes them so safe, ha!”

Ted checked his mirrors and merged over to pass the AOV. Marcia watched the mother interact with the children as they passed taking notice of the empty driver’s seat. “We should buy one, they’re so�"convenient.” She wasn’t about to say “safe” to Ted.

“Not gonna’ happen,” Ted said brusquely. He slowed down to the speed limit to match the speed of the AOV and gently eased over closer to the other car. When their SUV crossed the lane line the other car eased away and reduced its speed. Marcia glared at the smiling Ted, who checked his mirrors and eased back into the now clear right-hand lane. He watched as the self-driving car further reduced its speed to maintain a safe following distance.

Catching Marcia’s continued glare, he said, “What?”

They continued on for a while until little Kim, with buds in her ears, looked up. “Mommy, Mommy what is an inter-ahhh-con-tinental ba-listik missile?”

Marcia went pale with a concerned glance to her husband. “Where’d you hear that honey? You on Wikipedia?”

“On the news,” Kim said. “They say America is going to re-ta-tail-lee-ate if the missile hits the West Coast.”

“Randy!” Ted shouts, while looking in the rearview mirror. “Turn off your sister’s feed, wherever she’s getting that news from!”

Kim squeals when Randy roughly pulls out her ear buds and disconnects her cord.  

“Ted? What does it mean? What should we do?”

Ted pulled over on the interstate, something he knew he wasn’t supposed to do. “Marcia, use your phone and check the news; see if it’s real,” he said. With a nervous fidget, Marcia pulled out the phone, but her fingers fumbled it dropping the phone twice before giving it to Ted. He held the phone in his lap and found a news outlet while leaving the phone on mute.  “Oh my God,” he mumbled with a furrowed brow.

“What’s happening Ted?” Marcia asked.  “Tell me!”

“What’s wrong dad?” Randy asked.

 “Daddy, you look scared. Daddy?” Asked a frightened Kim.

“Damn them!” Ted said, pounding the steering wheel. “North Korea launched a missile toward the West Coast.” He looked at his watch. “According to this, it’ll hit in five minutes.”

“Oooohhhh Daddy!” Kim whined, “I’m scared, I wanna’ go home.”

“Home’s a long ways away,” Randy said, rather matter-of-factly for a twelve year old. “We should be okay here�"right dad?”

“Mmmm, right,” Ted answered quite distracted in what he saw. The screen lit his fretful face in a bluish tint. 

In silence, AOVs continued to stream past their stopped car. The Brown family sat in the quiet car as the seconds clicked distressingly slowly by adding up into minutes. Five minutes passed and nothing happened.  Ted let out a breath of relief just before a muted flash lit up the western sky.

“Daddy oh, Daddy!” “Dad!” “Ted!” Everyone whimpered. With watery eyes, Ted looked from face to face for several seconds until they heard what sounded like a distant long-winded thunderstorm.

 “Look!” He gleefully said, holding up the phone. “The missile went haywire and went up through the atmosphere to explode safely in space�"not on the ground!” He looked at the phone�"pressed the buttons a couple times�"shook it a few times before pressing the buttons again. “Feed stopped. This thing need charging?” He said, with a shrug while holding it out toward Marcia.

“No, I don’t think so,” Marcia said, taking the phone back. “No look, the power bar is three-quarters full�"but there’s no reception�"no bars. Well, that’s a minor problem after all that scary missile stuff. Let’s go.” She gestured.

Ted started the car, checked the way, and they drove off.  “Mmmmm, “he pondered, poking at the GPS and ended with a “huh!”

***

Meanwhile, Joe rode along on his way through Chicago. He glanced up to see “The Loop” sign as an urgent message signal beeped on his phone. He wrestled it out of his suit pocket and read the first line. It said something about North Korea launching an all-out attack on the U.S. in retaliation for the annual antagonistic wargames the U.S. holds with South Korea. With a grumble, he deleted the message as fake news.

***

The traffic seemed light on the interstate as the Brown family continued on their journey to Arizona. Ted didn’t really give it a second thought that an inordinately number of cars were now stopped on the road shoulder after the missile scare because he was much more concerned about getting to their destination. He rebooted the GPS for the third time, but it refused to lock onto a signal. He knew that sooner or later they needed to get off the interstate and change routes, but he couldn’t recall when or where that change might be. He did recall that there were not any old-fashioned paper maps in the car.

“Dad, Mom, I can’t get a signal on my phone,” Randy said, holding his phone forward for them to see.

“I still can’t either,” said Marcia, looking at the phone lying on the seat. “I saw you fussing at that info system too, hon. What’s the matter with them?” She said, focusing on him before looking back at the highway. They saw a car ahead of them seemingly wandering back and forth in the lane. Every time it reached a lane marking it would start to wander to the other side again back and forth, back and forth. “What the? Are they drunk?” She asked.

“I think it’s another AOV, but can’t tell yet,” Ted answered. “I can’t see a driver. Let’s see.” He speeded up and began changing lanes.

“Careful Ted! If they’re drunk, they could crash us.”

Straddling the lane marker, he suddenly swerved back in behind the swerving car. His family yelled in alarm.

“TED! YOU…” Marcia stopped shouting when a speeding vehicle whipped past clipping the Brown’s front fender as it went by. With squalling tires, the small blue car almost went up on two wheels as it swerved almost off the shoulder to get away from them and then veered from side to side as it accelerated away.

“Damn! That little car’s running wide open,” Ted shouted. “It must be goin’ over a hundred!” 

“DADDY, OH DADDY, DID YOU SEE THEM!?” Kim sobbed. “The people in the car are waving and screaming. The car’s out a’ control, and there’s no driver!”

“Gees!” Ted said. “The AOVs are goin’crazy out here for some reason�"must be somethin’ in the anti-freeze,” he added, with a nervous grin.

“Ted! This is serious!”

“Yeah, you’re right, Marcia. Sorry. But what the hell IS goin’ on?” He decelerated because the weaving car directly in front of them slowed some more. Gingerly, he eased around the weaving car, but then he saw another car coming fast behind. He jammed the accelerator pedal down and swerved back in lane really close to the front fender of the slower car. The fast car whizzed by the Browns while the slow car jammed on its brakes due to its automated crash avoidance. It slid off the road unharmed.

“At least they look alright,” Marcia said, looking back. She laid a hand on Ted’s arm. “Do you think it is safe to go on?”

“I don’t know what else to do,” Ted said, raising his shoulders. He paused with a thought. “Cripe! It’s probably worse, maybe total gridlock off this highway.”

“Daddy, oh Daddy what about those poor people trapped in that fast car?” Kim sobbed. “Are they gonna’ die?”

“Well�"maybe�"we �"can�"” Ted looked up the highway and then at Marcia who negligibly shook her head, obviously frightened of what he was thinking. “We got a V8 with 345 horses. Let’s use ‘em to catch that car and slow it down!” He jammed the accelerator pedal to the floor, and Marcia reached up and clenched the windshield pillar handle with her knuckles going white.

“AALLLL RIGHT!” Randy yelled over the roar of the engine as the SUV’s front lifted slightly and began accelerating, quickly exceeding the speed limit�"70, then 80, then 90 miles an hour.

“Dad, Dad!” Randy said, while leaning forward with relative calm. “Maybe I know what happened! The missile that exploded in space�"if it was a nuke�"” He took an excited breath. “It could’ve caused an EMP and shut down the satellites. Ya’ know?�"there’s no phones or GPS.”

“Good thinking, Randy. I agree,” said Ted concentrating on the road.

“How’d you know that Randy?” Marcia asked, hanging on for dear life.   

“School. We talk about that stuff for fun.”

****

 A few minutes earlier when the Browns first noticed cars acting weirdly, Joe’s trip across Chicago had escalated into a mix of technological road rage and commuting nightmare. He was about to live a literal car war.

The first innocuous thing he noticed was a squeal of tires, distracting him from his work in his lap when a car beside him stopped short overcompensating for the car in front of it, but it got worse.

“What the? That shouldn’t happen,” Joe mumbled.  He looked ahead and including his car, all the vehicles acted strangely like speeding then slowing, and swerving from side to side like a line of drunk drivers. He looked behind and the same was going on, but as he watched, two cars swerved toward each other and then immediately overcompensated by completely going out of their lanes. The one on the outside lane touched a parked car, and over compensating again it turned sideways only to instantly get hit broadside. At the same time, the other swerved across the center line to smash head on with oncoming traffic. Oddly, for this type of vehicular mayhem, there were no horns blasting or curses shouted.

“Joe,” the car’s calm, even electronic voice said, snapping his attention back inside. “New destination?”

“I think we should stop,” Joe said, looking at the automobile mayhem.

“Cannot stop, Joe. This would disrupt traffic flow causing a dangerous situation. New destination?”

“No, no, just the same earlier destination.”

“I am unable to comply�"new destination?”

“The same, the Honorable Richard J. Daley Plaza!” Joe said, raising his voice. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I do not understand your inquiry. My processor health is at 98.8 percent though my external links are�"corrupted�"intermittent. ”

“Oh just fine!” Joe said. “Continue to the prescribed destination.”

“I am unable to comply�"new destination?”

“Oh come on! Ah, mmmm,” Joe thought. “1200 Richard J. Daley Highway.”

“I am unable to comply�"” His car slammed on its brakes throwing Joe forward against his belts.

“Damn! I’ve never�"” When he looked up, he saw a pedestrian dinking on his phone well out their lane, off to the side.

“Drive on,” Joe said, first peeved and then frightened on noticing traffic bearing down on them from the rear.

“Pedestrian alert! Pedestrian Avoidance! Cannot proceed!”  The pedestrian glanced up looking at Joer; then he startled and jumped back to the sidewalk.

“Drive on!” Joe shouted.

“I am unable to com�"destination Richard J. Daley Plaza, Joe.”  His AOV sped off just as a car was about to ram them from behind.

***

The Brown family’s situation escalated as well. Ted intently concentrated on the ribbon of road that rapidly disappeared beneath their wheels with the dashed lane marker lines passing by like quick-fire bullets. He glanced at the speedometer that already quivered at over 110 miles an hour and it still climbed.  Surprising them, they rapidly gained on the second out-of-control car. As they caught and passed the car, the Brown family collectively sighed in relief seeing that a passenger had overridden the AI and assumed safe vehicle control to slow it down. Ted focused dead ahead on the small car they pursued that was just a dot on the highway’s horizon.

Randy pointed out that cars going both directions had tried turning off anywhere they could like turn arounds, farm lanes, and seasonal roads. “Ya’ know, everything went dead after the explosion and these AOV’s started acting weird. Makes sense, ‘cause they need satellite signals to maneuver and determine their locations and destinations,” Randy said. “They don’t know where to go!”

“I knew it, I knew it!” Ted exclaimed, slapping the steering wheel. “It WAS a bad idea.”  This awareness only fueled his determination. He furrowed his brow, took new full-fingered death grips on the wheel, and pushed harder on the pedal.

“Ted�"Ted?” Marcia said, with teary eyes while laying her free hand on his rigid arm. “Maybe we should let the car go? It’s too dangerous for us.”

Ted glanced at the speedo that indicated 135�"137�"139�"140. He flicked his eyes to the rearview. “Kids? Want to stop?”

“No way!” Randy shouted enthusiastically. “This is the most fun we’ve had in this car!”

“Daddy oh please Daddy, we need to help those scared people. I don’t want them to die! There’s a little girl like me in there,” said little Kim despite herself being scared.

“Alright kids, we’ll rescue them if we can,” Ted heroically said.

They rocketed down the highway much faster than anything else on the highway though the bulk of the traffic had stopped, crashed, or turned off the highway. Ted glanced at the speedo that now quivered at 150 hovering there while the engine screamed giving it everything it had. They were steadily gaining on the small car. Ted had a simple plan: He thought it would be an easy maneuver to pull around front of the small car and slow down gradually making sure the car’s AI didn’t swerve around them and cause an accident. But Ted saw that they seemed to gain much faster than during their entire chase; then he noticed the streams of smoke or steam erupting from under the small car.

“I think the engine’s gonna’ blow in that car!” Ted announced. 

“What about us�"are we okay?”

“Running a little hot but still in the safe zone, shouldn’t be much longer now.” Ted studied the little car. It still wavered from side to side but stayed in the inside lane so he slowed a bit and eased over to the outside. Beckoning them for assistance with gestures and shouts the Browns couldn’t hear, the family frantically peered out of the small car. Just as the Browns approached about a car length in passing, the little car swerved violently into their outside lane. The people inside brutally pitched to one side.

“LOOK OUT TED!” Marcia yelled. Ted took evasive actions.

***

 Anxiously, Joe looked from side to side, front and back unable to comprehend the chaos and totally flummoxed to what might happen next. His AOV, in control with an unembellished description of  a mind of its own, ran the gauntlet of pandemonium. Despite fender benders beginning to clog the streets, his AOV accelerated, swerved around crash after crash and then ran a red light to boot. Joe cringed and braced himself seeing a careening AOV truck heading for him. It whizzed right past behind his car.

“STOP!” Joe shouted.

“Incorrect command. Unsafe condition. Traffic on route�"route�"route�"new destination?”

“Same destination�"NO, STOP!” Joe shouted.

“Sorry Joe cannot comply. Danger exists when stopping amid traffic flow. Continuing on earlier stated destination�"enroute to destination Richard J. Daley Plaza.”

Joe noticed the reception had flickered back on. He thought his car might act sane again, but that wasn’t the case as his AOV swerved abruptly to the right, then further right. It slammed on the brakes to avoid hitting a car in front of him and then accelerated around to the left. The cars around him seemed to be in an awful hurry as well with people aboard appearing more terrified than he felt!

“Expected destination ETA, in one-three minutes,” the AOV voice calmly announced. “Sorry, Joe, behind predicted ETA�"adjusting velocity accordingly.”

The AI accelerated and as he hung on, Joe saw that his and the cars around him suddenly began moving steadily along maintaining the center of the multi-lanes despite the wrecked vehicles. The car in front of him plowed through a stopped wrecked car carelessly shoving it out of the way. Joe wondered what had happened, so he picked up his phone and stabbed a button. Reception flickered in and out. He noticed that he was getting one bar at the best, and then it would disappear.

With a squeal of tires, his AOV swerved hard. Joe slammed against the door frame and then down across the seat. His phone dropped to the floor. With a curse, he groped around and grabbed the phone but while fumbling with it, he pressed the wrong app�"his Shutterfly account accessed. With Bluetooth connecting it with the car’s info screen, he sat bolt straight up in reaction to what he saw. Suddenly, all his personal photos flipped through in rapid-fire presentation on his phone AND on the info screen.  Joe rubbed the knot on his head, staring at his life flashing before his eyes.

***

With the defensive maneuver, Ted spiked the brakes a little too hard. The SUV lurched hard toward the shoulder. Marcia and Kim screamed. The tires squealed. Ted fought with the wheel and brought the car back in line, but they had lost ground on the out-of-control car. Ted jammed the accelerator pedal to the floor, gaining back the distance in a matter of seconds. The car ahead now smoked worse and Ted worried that it may catch fire. He didn’t want to alarm his family so he kept it to himself.  Leery of the little car’s erratic AI piloting, Ted floored it, giving the other car plenty of space and shot past. Now, primarily watching the rear view, Ted eased off the throttle.  Suddenly, he noticed licks of flame erupting from the seams of the little car’s hood. His family, watching to the rear as well, gasped at the sight.

“Daddy, oh Daddy! They’re gonna’ burn up! Save them, oh please save them!” Kim cried.  

Two car lengths ahead of the little car, Ted weaved back and forth trying to anticipate another erratic move. He began slowing.

***

 Fender benders littered West Wacker Drive. The tunnel was hardly passable.  Joe couldn’t bear to watch. With him hanging on, his car did some fancy maneuvering and made it through with only losing paint on the left quarter panel but leaving the entire rear bumper behind. Joe heard the crunch as the truck following them too closely ran it over.  As they exited the tunnel, Joe saw a car up ahead flip over and balance precariously on the guardrail. Another car smacked it, ripping off a tire and spinning the balancing car off to the side.

The loose wheel rolled down the street in the same direction they were going. Apparently, the AI didn’t think it needed to avoid the wheel so headed right for it at high velocity. Joe braced himself, expecting the tire and wheel to come through the windshield, but instead, with a squeal of rubber and an agonizing crunch, the tire went right under the front bumper lifting the front of the car and rolling underneath with a myriad of banging, squealing, scraping, and rumbling noises. Like a crazy mechanized inchworm, the car quickly lifted in the front, balanced in the middle with the engine revving like mad, and then slammed down in the front with a crash and spray of sparks. The car then smashed flat with a bounce and a shutter before regaining speed.  Joe looked back to see the tire continue rolling down the street before another car smacked it and sent it flying into orbit. With fingers dug deep into the arm rest, he could see the plaza up ahead. He took a deep breath and hung on for what he thought would be the end of his commute of hell.

***

White knuckling the steering wheel, Ted intently watched the smoking and now burning car that wanted to pass them. Ted was not about to let that happen. He was a better driver than any old computer controlled car! They were only going about 90 now, and Ted didn’t have the precious time to gradually slow nor the need to look to anticipate because every time he eased off the throttle the little car wanted to go around. Ted blocked it over and over, time after time. Briefly, he could see the woman’s face through the smoke-smeared windshield frantically gesturing and pleading. Ted shifted his attention back to the task at hand.

“TED, LOOK OUT AHEAD! IN THE ROAD!” Marcia yelled.

Instinctually, Ted whipped the wheel just in time to avoid a huge piece of shrapnel littering the roadway. In an effort to get around the Brown’s car, the little car behind luckily swerved the other way narrowly missing the junk as well. Ted wiped sweat from his forehead before it dripped into his eyes.

“Good drivin’ Dad!” Randy giddily shoutiing encouragement.

To Ted’s relief, the little car was losing momentum, but the fire was fanned by the wind and grew by the second. He couldn’t even see the windshield anymore through the smoke, flame, and soot. He slowed some more, but for some reason the forward crash avoidance on the little car didn’t work. Ted cursed under his breath. Marcia stared at him with compounded concern. He let off the gas too fast and the little car came up fast almost hitting them before swerving aside. With near-precognitive driving skill, Ted countered the move by accelerating slightly and moving to in front of the little careening car. He slowed again. The burning car gained. He slowed some more. The flame-engulfed car came closer and closer.

“Oh my God!”  Marcia gasped. “Are we going to save them? Or end up�"”

“You can do it, Daddy!” Kim shouted.

With a gentle nudge, the two speeding vehicles touched bumpers.  “Hang on!” Ted shouted. He began applying brake pressure. Subtle crunching sounds came from the SUV’s rear hatch. He momentarily deflected his eyes from the burning car filling the whole rear window to Randy and Kim who wore huge terrified expressions.  With the cars now locked together, Ted pushed harder. He wondered about the fire spreading to their car but let the thought go. He could feel the little car trying to push through the SUV.

“DADDDDDDDYYYYY?” Kim whimpered.

Ted wondered about the possibility of other AOVs coming up behind and so carefully, he eased to the right with the screaming, smoking, and burning car following suit. Down to about 50 miles per hour, Ted thought they had a chance. He pressed harder, but the tires screeched, and he backed off. The bumpers rattled and scraped. He pushed on the brakes again afraid that the little car would get loose and maybe spin off and roll over. He couldn’t live with that outcome. He pushed hard; tires squealed. The cars slowed and then slowed some more, but then Ted worried more about the flames that flashed closer to the back of the SUV.

“Randy! Get on the right side of the car. When we stop, you take Kim, get out, and get away off the shoulder,” he looked at Marcia. “You too Marcia, I have to get out on your side, so when we stop�"move! Everyone okay?” They all said, “okay!” 

“Almost there,” Ted pushed hard, and the SUV wrestled the little car to a halt.  “Everyone out! MOVE!”

The right side doors flew open and Marcia, Ted, and the kids boiled out. Ted ran to the burning car and tried the car’s door. It was HOT and STUCK! He let go, took a breath, re-grabbed the handle while bracing with his foot against the car body and yanked hard! The door squawked open. He glimpsed a mascara-streaked face of a woman who handed out a toddler and then the little girl Kim’s age. Marcia took the toddler, and Randy pulled the girl away. Ted took the woman’s hand and led her safely away. The fire grew and licked at their SUV’s rear hatch.

 Ted, an aficionado of action movies, knew that car would explode so with total disregard to his personal safety in that respect, he sprinted to their SUV and got in before Marcia could scream for him to stop. He slammed it into gear and stepped on the gas, but the two bumpers were locked together! He tried gunning the SUV again, but the little burning car stubbornly hung on. Ted cursed. He slammed the transmission into reverse and stomped hard on the pedal with the tires spinning and smoking on the pavement. Moving backward at an insane speed, he didn’t bother hitting the brakes; Ted just slammed the transmission into drive and gunned it again. With a gut wrenching change of direction and horrendous protest of steel and iron, the SUV tore away while smoking its tires in the other direction. At about fifty feet away, he stopped, got out, and rejoined his and the rescued family. He waited for the little burning car to explode�"and waited�"”    

***

Joe’s AOV careened over the curb, snapping him out of either an AI motoring doomsday apocalypse or his wishful thinking of living through this motoring catastrophe with only a few bangs and a scratch. The car seemed unable to maintain straight line momentum because of a bent steering tie rod caused by running over that loose wheel. Nevertheless, forward motion continued with the left front tire scrubbing and squawking along the street as the AI fought to maintain control and movement.

“STOP NOW!”

“ETA less than one minute, Joe; please remain seated and secured�"Joe, Joe, Joe. “

Suddenly, there was a loud crunch as another car hit them in the quarter panel. Joe’s car spun sideways to head directly toward the Richard J. Daley Building. His car sped straight ahead, right into a plate glass window with a shower of shattering glass and coming to a halt with the front of the car in an office lobby. With a loud burst and a gasp, steam erupted from the radiator.

Joe recovered, lifted his head, and he perceived where the car had ended up. The “Now Serving” sign on the counter flashed a fully lit “88” and just as quickly extinguished with a smoky “poof.” Joe read a swinging sign: ‘Illinois Department of Motor Vehicles. Office permanently closed.’

  As Joe realized he was alive, the AOV’s last words were:  “ETA MET. Joe, we have ar-rr-rrived at your d-d-destination. You may safely disembark the vehicle�"have a nice da-day-da-ay-day-day.” It ended by emitting what sounded like a long, peaceful subsiding sigh of relief.

With his body weight behind it, Joe shoved open the bent and smashed door. Outside, looking at his wrecked car, he kicked the door shut with a resounding crunch. Sparks shot out from under his car’s dashboard with smoke pouring out of the inert battle-scarred AOV.

***

With the rescued family, Joyce and her two kids, crammed in the backseat, the Browns decided they needed fuel and a respite now that the situation had seemingly calmed down.  As they slowed down on the off ramp near Omaha, they took in the disaster that had taken place there. Both shoulders, the median, and the adjoining fields were littered with broken and bent cars. People aimlessly wandered around wondering what had occurred. Besides their car, only two other cars moved through the debris and destruction. Ted slowly and carefully weaved through the mess to make it to a convenience store. When they pulled in and parked, Joyce embraced Ted and Marcia.

“You saved our lives,” Joyce said, on still shaky legs. “Without you bravely blocking our car and slowing us down�"” she held her kids close with tears, “I don’t think we would’ve made it.”

“Daddy, oh Daddy!” Kim said, wrapping her arms around her father’s legs. “You’re my hero.”

“I thought we weren’t going to make it there for a while, Ted,” Marcia said. “But I agree with Kim�"you are a hero.”

An outside speaker blasted. “Technical experts and government officials have advised against driving fully automated self-driving cars until further notice citing a major electronic glitch had occurred.”

Marcia flashed an even smile and shouted back, “NO SH�"!” She added quietly. “We sure aren’t buying one of those things�"EVER!”  

© 2023 Neal