Never the Same IC#13 The Grind & The Crash

Never the Same IC#13 The Grind & The Crash

A Story by Neal
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Kirk, overwhelmed on the job, and the perpetrator of the Infamous Ambulance Crash!

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Cue: “Help” https://youtu.be/MKUex3fci5c

Kirk remained steadily jobless, just taking the few jobs that brother-in-law Mike offered him or what he could find on his own, but the jobs weren’t fulfilling or something Kirk could bank on intellectually, financially, or vocationally. He needed something steady, something rewarding and engaging. It couldn’t be said that in Kirk’s present mental state that he was very motivated to look for and partake any viable employment position. This was despite his father’s daily reminders about the money Kirk owed him, even though Kirk did pay some of it with the part time jobs he had taken.

Kirk hung out a lot at Mike’s garage working on cars that were being renovated by the two, not that he made much money from the work, but there definitely wasn’t any pressure to work constantly and with a concerted effort. Well, being at the garage got Kirk out of the house, away from his family, and gave him a chance to do what he loved�"work on cars�"or did he love it? For being picky about cleanliness, an auto mechanic was not a neat, clean, and tidy job. Things for Kirk were about to change for the better or so it seemed in the short term.

After a lull in Mike’s work history, he attained a position at the Dodge dealer. Mike, no doubt, could work at any car dealer or repair shop and had been through a few already in the few years that he had been part of Kirk’s family.

So, it soon came to pass that Kirk owed his brother-in-law, Mike again. Mike worked at the Dodge dealership for a few months before he mentioned to Kirk that there could be an opening for him at the dealership in a beginner, apprentice type of mechanic position. Kirk thought it would be worth a try though maintained those self-doubts. That morning he debated on how he should look so he perused his underutilized closet.

No suits would fit him. Those hanging there fit him when he was twelve years old and forced to attend church and Sunday School. The recollection of his attempts to sabotage the family car roared back into the forefront of his thoughts. His neat, clean white Nehru jacket still hung there, in style for maybe a year back then as a junior high schooler, worn only a few times. Then, his high school letter jacket, which Kirk felt proud of receiving though it reminded him of his failing at the sports he entered at every turn and attempt. Flipping through his clothes, he didn’t have much new. Finally, he settled on a relatively new looking long-sleeve denim shirt with a button-down collar and his newest, cleanest pair of jeans. He really didn’t know what to expect at the interview after the fortunately failed attempt at the farm equipment dealer. Kirk reserved a trickle of optimism coupled with a heavy dose of assured inevitable letdown for his visit to the big dealership.

So, Kirk drove to the dealership for the job interview in his always reliable pink Baja Bug. Stepping into a big dealership service department would always be quite a breath-taking experience and not only because he was being interviewed for a job. Taking a quick look around Kirk took in the nice, clean, immaculately smooth concrete floors, big floorspace with multiple bays equipped with lifts and various lines of tools along the walls and soaring high ceilings. This place contrasted with the old nasty dirty farm equipment dealership where Kirk had interviewed for a mechanic’s position that didn’t actually exist. Seeing this car dealership, he was glad he didn’t get hired at the other place. So, besides the view, various noises assaulted the ears with engines running, tires squeaking on the floor, power tools roaring, and hand tools clunking and plinking. While smells of new cars, new tires, exhaust, engine oil, and transmission fluid filled his nose. Kirk paused at the large overhead door entrance and uneasily took it in.

Do I want to work here? Will I work here?

 Introducing himself, Martin Johns, the service manager, had apparently expected Kirk and took him behind the service desk into a small office with a picture window that looked out over the service area. Casually, the two shook hands. With a labored groan, chubby Martin sat behind the small steel desk and offered Kirk a wheeled office chair opposite him. Calling him Mister Johns, Kirk said that it was a real opportunity to be considered for the job, and for Martin to take the time to talk to him about it. Mister Johns immediately said to call him Marty.

Apparently, Mike had “greased the skids” so to speak, assuring Kirk got the job. Kirk didn’t know what had been said between the two others, but it seemed from the conversation Kirk had pretty good qualifications for the job which Marty and he only briefly reiterated. The interview probably lasted all of five minutes, and Marty told him assigning the job was a done deal�"Kirk’s for the taking. Kirk would start the next Monday, and if Kirk wanted, the wash rack guy, John would show Kirk around while he was there.

 So first, Kirk got to see the showroom, a drool-inducing display of shiny hot, beautiful cars like the latest Challenger and Charger. Kirk wanted to sit in them, peer under the hood, and listen to them run, but he resisted the urge. Most the salesmen were too busy to look his way and those who glanced up from their morning joe and paper didn’t show any interest in the newest grease monkey wannabe mechanic. John said aside that that’s the way they were. They walked through the main garage area where the expert mechanics worked. Kirk saw Mike who had an automatic transmission tore apart, its hundred pieces of guts laid out on the bench. Kirk wondered how mechanics kept track of where all the bits and pieces, little check balls and valves, and clutch plates that came out of a transmission belonged. He thought it looked mind-boggling and confusing. Kirk fostered doubts that he’d ever be able to handle jobs like that.

When Mike looked up, Kirk smiled and simply said “Hey!” with a thumbs up.

Mike grinned, nodded, and went back to work. Kirk already knew from Mike that the mechanics worked for hourly wages with flat rate commissions or “incentive” which meant that if you were really skilled and worked faster on a job than the flat rate manual dictated, a mechanic could make some real good money. Indeed, all the experienced mechanics appeared very intent on their repair jobs. Kirk felt a little sick to his stomach with the possible implications for him who suffered from a notable lack of hand/eye coordination, over thinking his work, and taking his time on automotive repairs.

Kirk got a tour of the large body shop which if he had the proper training, he’d probably prefer to work there. The sounds of sanders and grinders, torches spitting out sparks, and the sweet smells of body filler, primer and paint filled the air. It seemed like a lot to take in. Overall, the dealership service department proved a larger and well-oiled operation than Kirk had ever imagined. He wondered if this was what he needed to get him on his way.

Am I truly lucky to get this employment chance? Was it the push I needed?  Did I really need a scary, grand push forward with my life? I could have easily just remained an unmeaningful present and future sloth…

On the following Monday, Kirk showed up at the dealership not knowing exactly what to wear so basically wore the same outfit he had worn for the job interview. On greeting Marty and his assistant, Al at the service counter, Marty told Kirk to punch in. Other guys were punching in, so Kirk found his card and punched in as well. Marty handed over a pile of dark blue, two-piece work clothes to Kirk that he supposed he should have picked up before that Monday. He saw immediately that the shirt had his name monogrammed over one pocket and the dealership logo over the other. Kirk felt a bit taken aback with the overpowering circumstances. Was he proud? Excited? Motivated? Feeling more like apprehensive, overwhelmed before even starting, wondering if he were up to the challenge of working for such a high-octane operation. Within minutes, customers lined up at the door to get their cars checked in for service as an experienced mechanic drove a car through the door with the typical squeaking tires.

Changing into his uniform, Kirk stepped aside with Al, the assistant service manager who told Kirk that his work bay was right there, straight in from the overhead door entrance and only a few steps from the service counter and parts counter. Kirk immediately wondered if they didn’t trust him, feeling like they needed to keep an eye on him. Al briefly told him that he’d start with new car preparation, warranty work, and maintenance, and he was to check with John the wash rack guy to get started. John was sort of a heavy-set tough guy who apparently did a little bit of everything like changing tires besides washing and detailing cars before delivery.

John showed Kirk the board with slots where he could find his work orders and see what needs to be done on what vehicle. He already had his named slot with a work order in it. Pulling out the work order, it was highlighted to have predelivery service done on that day. Kirk felt a twinge go down his back and twist to his stomach. The level of activity in the garage increased with impact wrenches brapping, tools clinking, voices speaking, and cars running and moving in and out raising the combined noise to a din.

Am I being thrown into a car repair melee? Can I handle it?

John got Kirk started by finding the car in the lot, giving Kirk advice about driving in�"stopping at the door and remembering safety first! and lining up to park in his bay. Kirk had to use other mechanics’ tools because he didn’t bring his own. No one told him, but he probably should have known that! Even though he had a pretty good selection in his own box, he realized that he’d require more specialized tools. He’d have the his box the next day. John gave him a checklist for prepping the car, plus what he needed to check for the state inspection. Kirk knew most of the requirements from his days in the small-town garage, but in this situation, he would be required to be trained and certified to do official state inspections. 

Cue: “Working for a Livin’” https://youtu.be/KLATbzMutkc

Some of Kirk’s duties remained the same from his earlier days like oil changes. Of course, working according to the flat-rate manual there was no extra money to be made doing  oil changes and Kirk, being the low man on the totem pole, got them all. He found out also that warranty work proved not a money-making proposition either. A lot the warranty jobs were answering vague customer complaints like water leaks: leaks in windows, doors, and trunks. These basically proved to be time sucks of replacing weather seals or shimming the seals or trying to find the leaks in the first place which meant a lot of watering the car down to see if he could locate the offending leaks. In other warranty cases, parts only had to be changed out by replacing defective parts to be returned to the factory. The parts really had to be defective enough to satisfy the factory representative or the dealership had to absorb the cost of the new parts. That was a point well made.

As time marched on, some oddly associated water leaks came in for Kirk’s repair and resolution. Believe it or not, one model car had problems with the taillight assemblies filling up with water. Interestingly, the taillights looked like sloshing mini-fish aquariums minus the fish. After draining the water and drying out the lights, Kirk had to caulk up the light bulb plugs that having been exposed to road spray that just let the water right into the assemblies. Another time, a car came in because the tires seemed horribly unbalanced. He wanted to try balancing them, a skill he had gained there at the dealership, but taking the wheels off, he found right off the bat that there was water inside them. He had to wonder how all that water got in the tires at the factory, but he sent them over to wash rack John to dismount them and dry them out. He balanced them with ease after that.

 Early on before he figured out time management and priorities, Kirk came under intense pressure when several work orders piled up in his assignment slot with short time deadlines. The very first car he brought in had a leak in the trunk seal where literally a pond of water accumulated to slosh around in there. Under pressure and in a hurry, Kirk couldn’t think straight such as he was under pressure.

There were rubber plugs in the bottom of the trunk, but prying a plug out seemed like a no-go, so he decided to punch a screwdriver tip through a plug with a hammer. Big mistake! The screwdriver tip went through too easily and right into the gas tank that hung below the trunk. Well, the water drained out of the trunk with half of the water going into the gas tank. Damn! Just more work for awkward Kirk who had to take the gas tank off and have warranty replace it. The parts guys overnighted a tank so Kirk installed it the next day. That mistake sure didn’t help Kirk’s workload and his self-esteem one bit though, luckily, no one berated him for such a blatantly stupid mistake.

The list of different jobs Kirk performed seemed endless, but some tasks were enjoyable and fun while others�"not so fun. Some new car customers opted for rust proofing undercoating. So, in part of the new car preparation, Kirk had to apply undercoating. The job proved relatively labor intensive without extra pay, of course. Inside body panels had to be coated, so Kirk had to drill holes in the door jambs, door sill panels, inside trucks and hoods all place that would be hidden from view. Then he had to stick the spray “wand” in the holes and move it about to coat the inside of the panels. Afterwards, he sealed the holes with plastic plugs. He’d then have to spray the undercarriage while on a lift which meant Kirk would have to protect linkages and exhaust systems from the thick undercoating tar. Actually doing it, he’d get over-sprayed or dripped by the tar-like undercoating getting it on his hands, arms, and hat. Cleaning the car and himself of the undercoating sometimes ended up more work than the task itself. Weirdly, Kirk soon learned to love the sweet strong smell of undercoating.

It seemed that there was an inherent problem on the new car models with brake squealing. There wasn’t anything wrong with the brakes perse, they operated just fine they only made a spine-tingling squeal anytime they were applied. New car owners couldn’t live with that. The factory fix for this problem was�"glue. Yep, heavy-duty glue. Kirk had to disassemble the disk brake calipers remove the brake pads and coat the contacts between the two liberally with glue. This solved the problem because it stopped the pads from vibrating which was the cause of the squeals. But there were a LOT of them for Kirk to do!

Kirk really, REALLY hated under-dashboard work. Things like dashboard lights and inoperative gauges drove Kirk crazy under dashes. Head resting on dirty floor boards or pedals, his back on the door sill, and feet on the concrete floor equaled the most uncomfortable position anyone would ever want to be in. To replace a gauge, the flat rate manual would allow 45 minutes, but it would take Kirk twice that, not to mention the cut-up fingers, sore, cramped back and aching head.

As for bad timing, this would be the time shoe-horned under the dash when a huge explosion would go off and Kirk would bang his head in reaction when he’d withdraw himself too quickly. By the time he got out there would just be confetti floating down from the ceiling. The big deaf painter would be lurking laughing his a*s off with his odd, deep voice laugh. Come to find out, he’d make oxygen/acetylene bombs out of paper cups and set them off when guys were least suspecting it, especially newbies.  Kirk had to find out, so asked him, in awkward sign language, how he made them. The painter was more than happy to oblige and demonstrate. With a takeout paper cup, the bigger the better like the giant slushy cups, he would use masking tape to seal up the top and after making a little hole, he squirted acetylene and oxygen from the torch set into the cup. Sealing it up, he’d look for a likely victim, light a match and lay it on top to let it burn through and KABLAM! Confetti. One of the few real fun things on the job.

One relatively easy and enjoyable job for Kirk was new car prep on police cars. On these, besides the usual new car stuff, he’d have to install the push bar, back seat cage, and roof-mounted bubblegum machine. Dated here, the bubblegum machine was the rotating red/blue lights in a plastic dome that resembled the old bubblegum machine vending displays that were everywhere at that time. Adding to the fun when done, Kirk would put on all the lights and run the siren which proved excruciating and shocking to the ears inside the garage. Though one thing he wasn’t allowed to do with the police cars was to road test them.

One activity Kirk that eventually picked up on and enjoyed were road tests. He learned that after working on cars, especially cars that should be “tested,” he could take them out on the local streets to make sure they were okay. This was when muscle cars were being manufactured en masse. Kirk took advantage of his dealer preparation of cars in need of road tests, specifically those high-performance cars with manual transmissions. On the back side of the huge building, a long driveway ran the building’s entire length. Kirk would blast down there slamming second gear before having to stop for the street. Surprisingly, he was never told to stop or even slow down even though everyone in the building had to have heard his hot rodding the new, customer’s cars.

Apparently, like everyone else, Marty knew of Kirk’s lead foot tendencies. A customer’s new-ish Challenger came in not running so well. Marty told Kirk that the car belonged to a young rich girl who probably never really stepped on the gas very hard. Marty actually told Kirk to take the Challenger out to “blow out the carbon.” Back in those heavy polluting days, cars had carburetors, big ones on performance cars, and needed to be run hard to keep them running right. Always driving these cars leisurely would allow soot, carbon build up in the combustion chambers. Someone needed to rev up these engines and push them hard to clean them out at least once in a while. Kirk was the right man for the job, more than happy to do so to carry out Marty’s request!

Cue: “Objects in the Rear View Mirror…”

So, as usual, Kirk roared down the back driveway with the engine hesitating, mis-firing a bit. He knew that he could clean it out with a “good hard road test.” Turning right onto the main throughfare, a five-lane highway, he sped away. About a mile down, the highway intersected with another five-lane road. He slowed and stopped in the righthand lane. Sitting there for the long duration redlight because of green arrows and such, he suddenly noticed in his rear view mirror an ambulance sitting directly behind him with its flashing lights on. Kirk was shocked to see the lights even though never hearing a siren. A bit taken by surprise, Kirk eased the Challenger over on the shoulder partway around the corner out of the ambulance’s way while not impeding the fast, steady traffic on the other road at the same time.

Suddenly, with Kirk clear, the ambulance accelerated headlong straight into the brisk, steady cross traffic that still had the right-of-way green light. Chaos ensued! BANG! CRASH! CRUNCH! A delivery truck immediately T-boned the ambulance broadside sending it careening about into a car and then another from the other direction! The ambulance which had some speed and then pushed faster by the multiple collisions flew into a gas station on the opposite corner from Kirk who watched in speechless horror! The speeding ambulance sheared off a gas pump to halt straddling the gas pump island. Gasoline spewed out all over the place with the ambulance’s warning lights still flashing away. The EMS attendants threw open the doors of the ambulance, jumped out, and opened the back doors. Kirk couldn’t believe the scene he witnessed�"or did he cause?

Did I cause this crash? Am I responsible? I’ll lose my license, my job and be put in jail! I didn’t tell the ambulance to go, but maybe, maybe I made the driver think that the light had changed when it didn’t.

The light had then changed though most of the traffic had stopped. Kirk cowered a bit lower in the seat. He timidly merged onto the road and carefully drove half a block. He pulled into a business’s parking lot to anxiously sit there. All around, people came out of the shops to gawk down to the corner wondering what the big commotion was. Within a minute, sirens approached with police apparently coming from nearby. Kirk decided that sticking around was not in his best interest, so he pulled out to continue around his road test big block. Emergency vehicles like police, fire, and ambulances drove by. Eventually, making a couple turns away from the accident, Kirk decided no one was going to chase him down.

Did anyone take down the license plate number? Would the cops go after the poor timid owner of the Challenger, and then track the incident down to me?

Kirk pondered all the worst possible scenarios. He got brave enough to push the Challenger a little to clean it out and headed back to the service department. He parked the car out in the lot and meekly told Marty the car ran well. Al wondered out loud to where all the emergency vehicles were going. Kirk gave him a partial report saying an ambulance was involved in an accident at the intersection and left the explanation at that.

No police ever came to the service department to ask questions about the crash much to Kirk’s relief, even though it would be weeks before he thought he was truly safe from being accused as the perpetrator of the Infamous Ambulance Crash.   

Undoubtedly, Kirk was never the same after this episode.

 

 

 

© 2022 Neal


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Added on March 9, 2022
Last Updated on March 9, 2022

Author

Neal
Neal

Castile, NY



About
I am retired Air Force with a wife, two dogs, three horses on a little New York farm. Besides writing, I bicycle, garden, and keep up with the farm work. I have a son who lives in Alaska with his wife.. more..

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