Never the Same IC# 8 Part three: Kirk's Love Life

Kirk Moves On from his break up with little Dee. Kirk has experienced a lot of pain and heartbreak in his romantic relationships so far, will he, can he recover? Will he ever find lasting love?

Kirk’s Love Life: Part 3

Kirk Moves On

Kirk might have come a long way in a couple years in appearance and behavior but in reality, deep down, he was still the awkward, immature, inexperienced boy from the country. The next month or so proved especially depressing for the young man Kirk as he tried to recover after Dee’s cheating and their subsequent breakup. Kirk, in his emotional turmoil, wondered if he could ever love again.

Attending the one year college at the Podunk town without dorm life was enough to put anyone into a case of depression and worse yet, the seasons were changing from autumn to winter. There just wasn’t a whole lot to do away from class, and without someone he cared about back home was an additional emotion killer. Kirk tried his best to drown his sorrows, find new past times or focus on college to keep his mind occupied on something other than his love loss. He wondered at times if life was worth living and derived certain methods�"though deep down he knew he wasn’t brave enough to do anything that outwardly cowardly.  Kirk plodded on the best he could.

Once in a while he’d head back home for a long weekend or a holiday, but it just wasn’t all that exciting. Kirk’s high school best friend’s girlfriend had a younger sister, Farrah. Farrah was a very quiet, nice enough girl, a red head besides that should’ve been a turn on for Kirk, but after Dee, Kirk had major commitment issues. He didn’t want to start a relationship with such short periods of time back home and carried that lingering feeling in the back of his mind that he could never get over Dee. Would she come back to him someday, somehow?

Anyhow, Kirk and Farrah spent time together and shared a couple kisses, but Kirk didn’t feel any real connection with her and once in a while with Farrah Kirk would break down into a sob recalling Dee. Sympathetic Farrah would console him, the kind soul she was.  Though this time with Farrah wasn’t a real affair in his heart, this wouldn’t be the last romantic time Kirk would spend with Farrah.  

Bonnie

Cue: “A Girl like You” https://youtu.be/6oqJ0JpMj6I

Early on, while still emotionally attached to Dee and not really in a relationship with Farrah, Kirk noticed Bonnie at the small town diner in the college town. Bonnie worked as a waitress as did her mother. Bonnie seemed like a nice enough pretty young woman though Kirk never spoke to her other than a fleeting greeting and his meal order.  However, after his breakup with Dee, every young woman became interesting including front and center Bonnie though he had the lingering….

Anyway, sweet, nice and pretty, Bonnie eventually became interesting to Kirk. She stood average height with shoulder-length light brown hair, brown eyes, and a sprinkling of freckles across her upper cheeks. He thought she was just plain cute�"pretty. Kirk soon ventured a few kind words with Bonnie as he visited the diner more often just for a coffee and a sweet roll simply because she was there.

 After a while and gaining a bit of courage Kirk asked her out on a date. They went to a drive in where they both just basically enjoyed the movie. Kirk believed spending time with a girl would heal his tortured soul and relieve his lovesick blues. Bonnie forwardly asked Kirk if he had a girl back home, to which Kirk spilled his guts and got a little misty-eyed  again in the process. Being a nice caring soul, and maybe more experienced in ways of the heart, Bonnie gently covered his hand with hers in an expression of empathy. Kirk conveyed a grim smile of his appreciation of her understanding. In comparing their younger years in different schools and discussing their lives, Kirk found Bonnie was older than him. Perhaps a mature woman would be good for him after the young, immature Dee.

Over a few weeks, Kirk decided that he really enjoyed being in Bonnie’s company. Pretty, quiet and fun, he decided that she’d be a good woman to spend his free time with after his broken relationship. And they did spend time together�"lots of time. Evenings with his or her friends, drinking beer around the campfire with her brother and his pals, it was all good. They shared a couple joints now and then; pickings were marginal, only one at a time so they didn’t get crazy at all.

Humorously, Bonnie had a thing for Ora-jel and she and Kirk would smear their lips and tongue with it until they had numb tongue. They’d laugh like crazy people when they couldn’t understand a word the other was speaking. Such fun. Bonnie turned out exactly what Kirk needed at that particular time and proved to him that he could love again. Bonnie and Kirk became an item.

As time marched steadily on, Kirk suggested going steady to Bonnie even though he felt the idea of a steady relationship might seem immature to her. But she thought it was great so they exchanged class rings. Kirk thought Bonnie’s kisses expressed the epitome of a mature woman who was in love. Kirk had once heard that in loving confident, mature relationships kisses were smooth, long, and soft like an old fine wine. He loved the romantic notion thinking that was exactly what being in love with Bonnie felt like.

Cue: “Bonnie K.” https://youtu.be/m8whQ7M5pVI  

Not long after they went steady one of the guys Kirk knew from college told him that Bonnie was “easy” like the song “Bonnie K” which lyrics states “easy, easy Bonnie K” suggesting that she’d jump into bed with any boy without a second thought. To innocent country boy Kirk, that was not reputation that a nice girl should have especially if it was untrue. Kirk wouldn’t believe it and told the guy so. Kirk couldn’t accept that quiet, sweet Bonnie was a girl with a tarnished reputation. On the other hand, being that she was more mature than he and “been around the block more than once” she might teach him the ways of lovemaking. Kirk thought learning lovemaking ropes with Bonnie would just be dandy.

In the course of their relationship Kirk invited her along on a ride back home to meet his parents. Besides, being invited to his cousin’s wedding, he thought it would be a nice romantic day for Bonnie and him. Indeed, his mother seemed taken with Bonnie making a fuss about where she came from, her school years, and everything else about her. What surprised Kirk the most was that his mother had prepared his old room and his sister’s bedrooms for the two of them. It seemed pretty forward thinking and trusting of his mother that they’d actually sleep apart in adjoining bedrooms. Deep down, Kirk hoped for the best.

 Getting ready for bed, Kirk pondered if he should just spend the night with her in one bed because he really wanted to, but he remembered how noisy the old beds were. After changing his clothes for bed, he went to the other room where he found Bonnie snuggled in. His breath caught with her laying there, an embodiment of sweetness, beauty, or was it her aura of sexiness? He carefully lay down beside her to avoid any noise and wondered what might transpire with this beautiful girl on that night there in his sister’s soft bed. After a few long kisses and cuddling, Bonnie yawned, saying that it had been a long and stressful day for her. He took the hint, kissed her, and went back to his old cool bed and dreamt of what could have been.

The next day they went to the cousin’s wedding, an affair outside in the garden on a beautiful sunny day. Kirk thought the bright sun suited Bonnie, and he felt proud of being seen with Bonnie. She stayed seated not knowing a soul so after the ceremony Kirk went through the receiving line to give his cousin a hug and a peck on her cheek. He returned wearing an aura of love thinking Bonnie was the most beautiful girl in the world. Bonnie smiled all aglow. Kirk wanted to melt with her right there on the lawn.

After being back at the college town for a few days, the twosome went to the only local nightclub well outside the dry southern town. After a few beers, Bonnie split off to visit with a group of local high school girl friends, and Kirk saw a buddy with a couple guys and girls come in. He ordered another beer and started putting it back. One of the local girls asked about the girl’s class ring on the chain around his neck wondering if it was someone’s back home. Kirk said it wasn’t someone from home, showing her that it was from the local school, and the fact it was Bonnie’s who he pointed out.

The girl laughed nastily, and said loudly, “you’re going steady with that w***e?”

In his tipsy state, Kirk instantly lost control. He slammed his beer down. And with a resounding smack, he slapped the insulting girl right across the face. In moments, the nightclub went quiet; all turned to stare. One of the local boys sitting with the offending girl, maybe her date, a large young man really, grabbed Kirk by the shirt, and Kirk wilted not being a strong tough guy in that kind of situation.

“A man doesn’t hit a girl!” Said the guy in Kirk’s face.

“She deserved it,” Kirk stammered back, “after what she said!”

“Doesn’t matter wha’ she said, you gotta’ get outa’ here,” and he pushed, shoved, and “helped” Kirk out the door where he stumbled to the sidewalk. Kirk looked around to see who stared at him but was halfway relieved that there was no sign of Bonnie. Was she ashamed of him? Did she even have a clue to what happened? Trying to reenter, the doorman wouldn’t let him back in, and Bonnie didn’t come out.  Finally, after sitting in his car on the back row of the lot for a while, Bonnie came out with a boy. Definitely under the influence, Kirk got out of the car, but after too many beers his foot slipped out with him doing a split between the car and the pavement.

 Helping himself up with the door frame, he shouted with a tortured slur, “Bonnie!”

 Bonnie looked his way but kept going to a truck with the young man. Kirk lay down in his seat and cried, and then he threw up. What kind of a mess did he cause for Bonnie and him? Did he lose Bonnie, pretty, sweet Bonnie? His head spun in a drunken stupor mess of escalating negative possible outcomes.  Over and over he replayed the face slap, the toss out, his sickness. Then he’d return to thoughts of Dee. Why did she have to cheat on me? He reflected. Kirk passed out and somehow rose from his bed the next morning with a splitting headache and another broken heart.

Thinking about talking to Bonnie the next day troubled Kirk to no end. His chest ached with the potential outcomes. Would she talk to him? Did she go with that other guy and have a rip-roaring “roll in the hay?” Kirk imagined the worse with all the possibilities. After class, he found her at work and asked meekly, quietly how she was. Bonnie said fine and asked why he acted so carefully. He told her that he wouldn’t blame her to hate him for the nightclub incident. 

Bonnie smiled and told Kirk that at first she thought he had been thrown out for being disorderly, but later found out the real story and appreciated him standing up for her. With warm eyes and a smile, Bonnie bent over and kissed Kirk on the lips. She kissed him like she really meant it. Beyond a doubt Kirk was at first flabbergasted and then gratified at that unexpected outcome.  He paused with a thought.

 “But,” Kirk stalled, “I saw you with that boy.”

Well, it turned out that the atmosphere at the club turned ugly after his extraction, so she left with her cousin Tom. She shrugged, saying that the cousin just took her home.

Love and life went on. At one of their nights of sitting around the campfire with friends drinking and singing, Bonnie stirred the fire and somehow dropped Kirk’s class ring right into the center of it. She shouted with honest to goodness shock and concern. Kirk grabbed a nearby stick to pull the burning logs off and spread out the coals. Bonne saw the ring and fished it out. She apologized profusely, but Kirk didn’t take it too hard. After the ring cooled they found it wasn’t damaged at all!

 About this same time in the relationship, Bonnie’s brother told Kirk that he treated her better than any other boy she had ever dated. The brother said it seemed that Kirk really cared for her emotional wellbeing. Kirk appreciated the compliments but those lingering claims about her still bothered him�"at least a little.

The twosome would park often at various quiet locales around the college town. Making out with Bonnie proved a joy for Kirk. Tender caresses and soft kisses often led to caresses to bare skin in private areas. Bonnie’s light touches Kirk thought were extremely exciting and he craved to go farther but after the boondoggle with Dee, he let Bonnie take the lead during making out which didn’t advance past third base.

One night they parked on a quiet side street under a street light. Their routine went on like usual until, suddenly the car began bouncing up and down violently! Popping up and looking around, they saw a small group of young teens running off laughing it up with their trick on the parking couple. After Kirk and Bonnie pulled himself together, he started the car and pursued the kids. When he caught up, the kids stopped and laughed again thinking not much would happen. Doing a quick 180 degree turn, Kirk headed for the kids. As he got closer in seconds, he popped over the curb and headed for them down the sidewalk. Bonnie hung on with a smile. Not getting too close to them, he laid on the horn and the kids scattered with screams. Kirk slowed, turned down a driveway and went back out to the street.

The college year waned and Kirk still had no real future plans for his life with or without Bonnie. His thoughts on that subject began to bother him, but they spent even more time together. The couple had quite a few heavy petting make-out sessions, but it progressed only so far with Kirk’s limited experience and Bonnie’s hesitation to take a lead into further undiscovered territory. Even though the opportunity presented itself a few times, he still questioned his ability to master the mechanics of love making. Bonnie never offered to teach him the art whether her own experience supported it or not.

 On the final college weekend, they went to a well-attended blowout party with a mix of out of town students and locals. It proved a great party with loud music, beer, grass, and great conversation and fun. Pretty much everyone got wasted and Bonnie and Kirk felt good, though they weren’t silly. That night, many of the party goers just crashed on the carpet of a friend’s house, so the couple did the same. They held each other tightly, shared a few tender kisses, slipped into slumber, and slept the night away in each other’s arms.

The final week at college held finals that Kirk took in stride and packing which didn’t amount to much. Kirk really didn’t know what to do about Bonnie and his steady status because the nightmare of Dee cheating came roaring back to mind raising his guard and stirring his emotions. Supposedly Bonnie had that reputation, though Kirk really doubted the truthfulness in it all, but then again living so far away from each other how often could he return to see her? Would that be fair to her? He contemplated his decision.

A Bitter Goodbye

Cue: “Take on me” https://youtu.be/djV11Xbc914

The day before Kirk left for home they had one last date. It was a low-key affair as a dinner date without the parking make out session afterward like usual. Kirk drove Bonnie home and abruptly announced that it was goodbye at least for a while which she already knew. But then, surprising her, Kirk held her ring on the chain out. Bonnie sat there stunned, silent.  Hesitating, she took it but wanted to know what it meant, were they breaking up?  Kirk denied specifically telling her that it was a break up, but he said he couldn’t be sure to what would happen to either of them in the next couple months. With tears on her pretty freckled cheeks, she pulled off his ring and gave to him.

Trying to keep the door open so to speak, Kirk suggested they write as often as they could, and he promised he would be back to see her albeit unsure when that might be. As he drove away from the southern college town, Kirk’s head and stomach swirled in disbelief that he let pretty, fun-loving Bonnie go. Should he have somehow taken her home with him? How well did he really know her? How could he support her? Where’d they live? There were too many unanswerable questions.

After all was said and done leaving the college town and Bonnie behind, Kirk suffered heart-deep sadness and a head-deadening depression.  He would never be the same after he, Kirk, forced the breakup with Bonnie though he fostered a little bit of hope. 

Cue: “Cruel Summer” https://youtu.be/l9ml3nyww80

Unhappy Kirk endured the brutal summer without Bonnie and didn’t date anyone else because he felt guilty about leaving her like he did. Would he ever get back to sweet Bonnie? He hadn’t a clue to his future�"with or without her. All his friends had gotten married, left town, or were still in college. Kirk felt lonely and without direction anymore after following the constant arrow onward in school.

That year, it turned into a wickedly hot, sticky summer.  Kirk was more or less forced into getting a job he didn’t exactly enjoy at a car dealership where his bother-in-law was a mechanic. He needed the money seeing his father cut him off after bank rolling his college education demanding board payments to stay at home.

 With the extra money he earned and establishing new car connections, Kirk bought a neat muscle car. We’ll go into details in the section “Kirk and his Cars.” With no engine, getting that neat vehicle on the road proved problematic and time consuming. Yet, his father still wanted him to work on the farm besides his nine to five. As the summer dragged on, Kirk sure didn’t grow any happier. When he finally got his car into a dependable condition his mind turned back to Bonnie, and so he decided to go see her. Road trip with love rekindled! His heart sang.

It was another hot sunny late summer day, the car’s top was down and the wind blew through his long hair�"the longest it had ever been in his life. He didn’t let his hair grown for the girls; he just let it go as a reflection of his state of mind. Kirk happily drove to see pretty, sweet Bonnie again. The fact that she stopped writing the last month or so didn’t seem to bother him. He didn’t latch on to the unwritten hints and looking back it seemed too easy for him to forget the warning signs that he had experienced with Dee.

Nice to be back in the old college town, Kirk dropped in on the usual haunts. Neither she nor her mother was at the old diner or anywhere in town, but that wasn’t surprising.  Not to be stopped from finding Bonnie on that trip, he drove further south to her house.

After pulling into the driveway, he heard laughing coming from Bonnie’s family pond. Obviously Bonnie�"and a young man swimming together while Kirk’s mind suddenly swam; his stomach fell. Nevertheless, he began walking around the pond’s edge after returning her wave. As he got closer, he stopped�"he couldn’t go nearer because he saw that they were skinny dipping thinking that it would be improper to get too close to talk.

Bonnie shouted for Kirk to join them, but instead, he asked for her to come out to talk. She said the water so great, and that he’d love it. Kirk couldn’t do it. He�"couldn’t swim�"hardly�"he couldn’t skinny dip with a guy there�"he just couldn’t talk�"like he wanted under those conditions.  Trying again to coax her out, she just plain refused. Bonnie turned away from Kirk laughing, splashing, and then diving down with the two of them coming back up to the surface together. With a deep shuddering sigh, Kirk turned around and started back to his car with a glance or two back while they just carried on playing without pause or care.

On that hot summer day, pretty, sweet and fun Bonnie swam away into his memory and his daily thoughts of her would never, ever be completely gone. Kirk would never verify what they had said about Bonnie’s reputation, but that minor rumor didn’t detract at all from his love for her.

Unfortunately with the loss of Bonnie, it only reaffirmed his nagging distrust in women’s loyalty to a single man. Though, he had to admit to himself, the outcome was probably his fault in all the previous three women’s cases�"and now Bonnie? Losing all four was probably all his fault.

So as they stacked up in his memory as his utter romantic failures Violet, Babe, Dee, and then Bonnie, meant Kirk would never be the same when it came to girls. It would become even harder for Kirk to make romantic ties.