The Wise words of Confused-Shush

The biggest strain on American politics currently is the evil anti-guacamole movement, spreading propaganda and the biased judgement of perfectly innocent and delicious avocados!! So I am starting a new movement: The Anit-Anti-Guaccers, until the anti-guaccers become the anti-anti-anti-guaccers and then we shall be known as the anti-anti-anti-anti-guaccers, AVOCADO PRIDE!! Black on green playa

Money is not the only form of barter, if you paid with it with your' vagina it wasn't free, the cost was your' pride and self respect 

Once the number of humans who knows what Aeropostale is exceeds the number of humans who know who Aristotle is: we will clench our place in as the most fashionably ignorant planet in the universe.

Responsibility is like masturbation; if you let others do it for you, it takes much longer and isn't nearly as satisfying. -confused shush

is it masterbation if someone else is doing it?>

it goes back to the old philosophical argument, just because someone elses' supposedly perceived physical arm is giving your meat shammy the old tug and wipe, is it really a separate entity, or in fact, is that an outward manifestation of your inner need for masturbation relations taking form in a another perceived physical entity playing chop sticks with your sesame chicken. And of course, let us not forget the famed "dutch rudder argument" in which both your physical self is coaxed into the act of masturbation by another being created in your subconscious mind. In the end, the result is almost always the same, so which came first, the chicken dick, or the egg head? and furthermore, if a phallus is pleasured in a soundproof room while all participating members are wearing noise canceling head phones, does it in fact make a sound?

And on a side note: Has anyone else noticed that the phrase ; "Well I guess that's just the American way" has been transformed into a universal justification for any number of horrendous atrocities happening across the globe. How sadistically quaint... so prepare for my new justification for everything "Well I guess that's just the Andrew way." Why did you slap my girl friends a*s, just the Andrew way.... why did you smoke that sticky green, just the Andrew way, and if you ask why t is the Andrew way.... well that's just the American way

Yea let's sell armed drones to the whole world, because us supplying other countries with weapons has never backfired, not once.... oh wait, you say it back fired nearly every single time? nah nah, we made lots of money off of all of those incidences so it went according to plan. Terminator Judgement Day: When planned obsolescence plans for mans obsolescence.

humility: when a grown man is at yoga class and realizes that a bunch of hundred pound girls have more strength and stamina than him, but instead of being embarrassed, just keeps doing the yoga at his bodies pace ( while enjoying the view of course)

Money don't grow on trees, oh wait, it does....

The truth only hurts when you're truly f*****g up

Sometimes while reading kids books to my son I think, ahh, thats where half the rappers on the radio got their rhyme schemes from.... it all makes sense now