Short Poem: Hollow Feet Walking..

Does fate determine our deeds, or deeds our fate?

Hollow Feet Walking...

We walk through doors,

that disappear,

in rooms of windows

crystal clear

They show us paths

carved by fickle fate

twisting, contorting

never straight.

 

So we lose ourselves

in alleyways,

mazes of glass

thronged with strays

who smite the walls,

impregnable

as their paths collide

and implode. 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid one. Thank you for sharing...:)

[dw817]

I was definitely seeing a winding staircase in this. Filled with fragrant flowers curving their bonnets and bouquets upward to a sunlit sky above.

Slight spelling error: "that disapear[disappear]"

Other than that, nicely written !

[naznaz]

Ah, thanks, I had not noticed that! :)

[dw817]

If you are using Mozilla Firefox, it has a built-in spellchecker. It will save lots of time later. I post and paste some of my stories from years ago and it places a red squiggly line underneath questionable words that I misspelled at that time.

You have the added advantage of adding any word you want to a new set, for instance, "Tyr," from my novel, I want to be a regular word, where the first letter is capitalized.

It is obviously not a real word, but it is added to my custom dictionary so it doesn't get flagged in the future. It's as easy as right-clicking and selecting, "Add To Dictionary."
Hope This Helps !

[Riding the Rainbow]

It's a real window of life. Good job;)

[naznaz]

Thank you!

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

You descriptively captured the experience of the maze of life. Nicely done!

[naznaz]

Thank you!

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Digging the maze reference. The first couple of lines are my favorite. It really shows that while we can see out the window, it's not so easy to get to the other side.

[naznaz]

Thank you!