Untitled

Life is a dusty bumpy ride

A pinch of ebb and a dash of tide

Its up and down often round and round

All you need is..

To find your way around.

Slithering along its curvy ways

Look around for bright sunny days

Do it or just try

Run around like a fire fly.

Towards the light calling for you

Believe, in your abilities to brew.

Beatitude without a stagger

Work your way up the ladder.

Steadfast as you are

Success is never too far.

Across each weary mile

Don't forget to smile. 

And when you need a helping hand

Right beside you, I stand.

Waiting for you to be the Sun

With which my world would rise and run.

Author's Note

Writing after a gap of four years.

Reviews

[DAH]

You have mastered the craft of rhymes, and after a gap of four years this is an impressive feat. Welcome back to the living-of-writing, to the living, to the write. Keep writing, keep pushing, stay focused. "Do it or just try
Run around like a fire fly" Yes!

"Towards the light calling for you
Believe, in your abilities to brew" Bravo!

[nazia]

Thank you so much; I hope this time I stay longer in the world of writing.... It feels really good to be here :)

[DAH]

My pleasure!

[gram linski]

enjoyed this very much, can't think why it's untitled, there are some great soundbites in there, this is definitely beatitude without swagger good poem

[nazia]

Thank you so much for such kind words :) They are much appreciated.

[bigfootprint]

Great advice for the up and coming teen who is unaware of the trolls waiting at the next bridge-- not to mention the ghouls and shapeless blobs. Such counseling can be ever adapted to do the most good. Fav line: "Across each weary mile Don't forget to smile." You offer timeless advice for all. Ever-changing horizons are like rainbows -- always beyond the grasp. Every road has its own, whether arduous or delightful. If we don't like the looks of the horizon, we can always change roads. Keep smiling. -- Doug

[nazia]

Thank you so much for the kind words. Life is a test we all need to go through :)

[Einstein Noodle]

welcome back to writing nazia .. i have not written as yet a poem "Untitled" .. so am already inspired ;) your theme is a good one .. life is tough, don't give up, things will get better ... its the quitting that gets us eh!? ;} the rhyming for me is on that edge of rudimentary and forced ... in V2 "around" and round" is just too easy .. i would challenge you to find way to say it .. using couplets, in my opinion, lends a grounded base to launch from ... so why is V2 a triplet? ... love your closing ..i am an optimist and hopeful endings delight your readers ..even those who lean more cynical i bet .. :) love and joy...welcome back and nice to meet you
E.

[nazia]

Nice to meet you too...
Thank you for such an amazing review. I really appreciate all the comments. I will surely try and surprise you with the next one that I write. Thank you for encouraging me...

[Eilis]

A lovely, earnest, hopeful message for us all. We need more messages like this, I think. Life can be simple or complicated, and often the weight of it is puzzled out in our minds. Your words make it feel easy to let go and be open to possibility.

Nice to meet you, Nazia. Here's to hoping you have many more poems to come after your writing hiatus.

[nazia]

Nice to meet you too Eilis :)
Thank you so much for the review. I am glad that you find the message worthwhile. I too hope to stay active with you all for a long time :)

[TeeJae {TJ} Hart]

Very simple yet beautiful piece, felt like I was dancing through the words as I read them. Loved the concept of always moving forward

[nazia]

Thank you very much for the review TJ :)
Moving forward is all one can actually do

[Chris Shaw]

Welcome back to the gripping world of writing. Life is certainly a carousel with its ups and downs, in and outs, fast and slows. I enjoyed your poem, nicely composed and I wish you well Nazia.

Chris

[nazia]

Thanks for the ward Welcome :)
Glad that you liked the writing. Thank you very much for taking out the time to read

[jacob erin-cilberto]

quite good, almost didn't notice the rhyme...and not being a big rhyme fan, that made it work for me...i was concentrating on the theme...things could get worse, you can handle it, you can pull yourself up...i need you to because i need you to be my sun...
my world needs you.
nicely done.
and the "brew" line...different...

j.

[nazia]

Thanks for the review. I guess you are the only one who noticed the break. It was supposed to bring in a sort of dramatic pause after the word 'need'. Hope it worked. :)

[Ted Kniffen]

Welcome back, Nazia. You can write. The rhyme scheme is good. The message is quite good. The only thing I would question is verse two...all the others are couplets, verse two is not, is there a reason for this? It affects the flow for the reader and could easily be a couplet.

PS- line two is absolutely brilliant. Good job on this. Keep writing.

[nazia]

Thank you for taking out time to read and post the review. And thanks for the welcome. I hope this time I write with continuity :)
The break was supposed to be a sort of dramatic pause to introduce the 'need'.. Didn't know if it would work or not. Looking forward to your help for improvements :)

[Robert Trakofler]

I am a rhyme junkie thanks for the fix and damn fine lines of a message inside them great rythm and flow just jumped on Coyote's review of you and am pleasantly surprised:) nice to meet you!

[nazia]

Thank you so much for the review. Your words are much appreciated :)
Its nice to meet you too :)