There Be Pirtes Here!

A story about a lowly stock broker with a fantasy.

There Be Pirates Here!

 

 

When Paul opened his eyes, it was daylight. There was a knock. Plodding his way to the front door, he opened it. There was no one there, except a package. It was a manila envelope with no return address. He grinned as he tore it open. Inside, there was a pirate patch and a note. He put on the patch. The note said:

 

Dear Captain Sneer:

 

It has come to our attention that on numerous visits to our port, you have abounded in frightful works. Among these are lewd acts perpetrated against the genteel women of Pleasant Port, behavior unbecoming gentlemen, drunken bouts, thievery, and all around distasteful pleasure.

 

These things must cease! You are hereby ordered to vacate the docks of Pleasant Port by sundown today or suffer the consequences. Pirating will not be tolerated. Consider this a polite warning. It will be the only one that you receive.

 

Sincerely,

 

 

The founding Fathers,

Pleasant Port

 

P.S. When in town, please wear the enclosed eye patch. The empty socket that you have been sporting is most disagreeable. 

 

 

“She’s back” he shouted to no one. Then with note in hand he fairly ran to the kitchen to make coffee. Paul was a stock broker, but not today. Today he was a pirate. After pouring a cup of Joe, he practiced his “aye”… Then he called the office and told them he would not be in, and got dressed.

 

Paul’s first stop was a place called The Secret Attic. He opened the door and walked in as if he owned the place. “She’s back.” The owner Martin said with a smile when Paul entered his favorite costume shop.

 

“Hi Martin, I need a pirate costume, authentic of course.”

“Of course”.

 

Sometime later, Paul left the shop. He looked like an actor in a movie as he walked down the street. He didn’t care that people stared. He secretly liked it. Well, maybe it wasn’t so secret. Everyone that knew him knew that he loved it.

 

He went into Starbucks. “Hey Paul, the usual?”

 

“Yah thanks Wendy,” he replied.  

 

“I take it by your ensemble that she is back.” Wendy said.

 

“Yes. I can’t wait to see her.” Paul was chomping at the bit.

 

“Where are you meeting today?” Wendy asked.

 

“I don’t know yet.”

 

“Was there a note?” Wendy asked with an air of suspense.

 

“Yah I am a pirate who is in trouble with the authorities for being a scoundrel.” Paul could not contain his ear to ear grin.

 

About that time, a man dressed as an English gentleman from the 18^th century came in. He asked Paul if he was Captain John Sneer.

 

Paul put on his best pirate voice and replied. “Ahvast matey, one and the same. You be having business with me do ya?”

 

The man replied, “I am to deliver this script post haste to you personally. I am to wait for an answer.”

 

The man stood at attention while Paul opened and read the script. It was a story about a pirate who is imprisoned by a town and the beautiful barmaid who helps him to escape. It was clearly a child’s story, delightful in its prose and certainly worth ones time.

 

Paul looked up at the man. “Aye, this is a tall tale, but most worth tellin. Give the wench my agreement. I will be there.”

 

“You are to appear at the noon hour at 214 Washburn Street.” The man said. Then he turned and left.

 

Paul sat back, put his arms behind his head and smiled.

 

Noon came quickly however, and Paul was not entirely sure that he had memorized the whole script. He took a cab to 214 Washburn Street, paid the cabbie, got out and took a deep breath. This was what he lived for. Nadine was the one who he was coming to see. Well, it was Nadine who got him started on an adventure that was much more than being a pirate or joining the circus. It was fueling imagination. It was firing up the mind. Nadine had been away visiting relatives but she was back now and they would pick up where they left off.

 

This was the first time that he was a pirate. He had been a clown, a gypsy, a shop keeper of magic, and a carpetbagger. He knew that he would not ever get tired of doing this.

 

Paul took a deep breath and said “Aye, anchors away”. He then headed into the public library to tell a story of adventure to the towns’ children. Their beaming smiles were the reason that he got out of bed this morning.

 

 

Reviews

[alanwgraham]

This is a lovely comic tale with unexpected twists end turns. You must have a good imagination to come up with such whimsy. I noticed that you made a slip with your title. Also I found your choice of typescript a bit faint for easy reading. What do you think? I really enjoy seeing something a bit different. Well done.
Regards,
Alan

[RJ Shie]

Thanks for the review Alan. Yes I agree with you. I wrote that about ten years ago and I just reread it today. There are a few things I will probably change. I find your profile pic to be a bit whimsical as well.