Odd Ones

Crowds surround me

friends, foes, society

They believe am like them

They miss me, hate me, fear me

Sometimes I am them

Mostly am me,

an abyss yearning to be filled

The odd jigsaw piece trying to fit in

There are many more like me

Yet we are all unique

Never learning to blend

B******s of fate

Reviews

[thuthana]

Okay, I lied. This one is my favorite.

I tend to write essays about the formation of identity within literature, so this poem stands out to me because of the same ideas you are working through here.

some critiques:
=> on line 2, you write "friends, foes, society". while i know what you are getting at, it might be cool to try and create an alliteration for more of an effect -- especially when reading this aloud.
=> on line 7 you write "an abyss..." then on line 8 write "the odd..." the difference in determiner word creates a conflicting sense. like from line 7 it seems as if there are more than one abysses but from line 8 you are singling yourself out. for cohesiveness, i suggest chooses either "an" or "the" for both lines -- not only will it add flow to your lines, but also tighten up the imagery you are invoking.
=>line 12 "b******s of fate". i get what you are trying to say, however i think this line is a bit abrupt... which may be the effect you were going for, so disregard this in that case, but the connotations associated with "b*****d" seem a tad bit too intense for what you are trying to do.

but what do i know.

[Naval Tharun]

This was an arbitrary piece, wrote it during an office meeting.
=> I will give that some thought.
=> "Mostly am me, an abyss yearning to be filled" - thats a single line
=> I thought 'B******s' was tame.

Thanks!

[thuthana]

clearly we have different connotational associations of "b******s". probably just an american-me kind of thing :p

[Naval Tharun]

Maybe. I feel like the US has made me nice. Need to regain my asperity.