GIFT OF LIFE....

"Our happiness is the outcome of our thoughts. Happiness will be reflected by thinking positive ones."

With ups and downs and twists and turns

Life never offers the things we yearn

Caught amidst web of worries and gloom

Trying to find hope in this world of doom

This seems as it is as there is much to achieve

Clock is ticking which is hard to believe

Bewildered minds with racing thoughts

What am I getting for what I ought?

With one foot in future and one in past

The present that can bloom will surely won't long last

So, follow your heart keeping aside the fears

Life can be surprising enough to give us joy and cheers

Comparison with others is worse to say

As every heart is special in it's own way

Whatever we want, we cannot always get

Life is fulfilling only with no regrets

Just chase your dreams with commitment and belief

As your efforts matter more than what you achieve

Absurd is the belief that life is a race

It is the most beautiful gift given by God's grace...

Author's Note

A simple poem and my very first one. Hope you all like it!

Reviews

[ASandyRabbit]

For a first poem, this is a great start!

If I had a gripe, it'd probably be the meter (this means how many syllables there are in a line). It is hard to get a consistent meter, but I think it's good to learn, and definitely something I need to improve upon. Writing haikus is a great way to get good at this, since it forces you to tell something in a set number of syllables.

I don't want to pretend by any means that my poetry is good, but sometimes I try to write in a very minimalist style and discard rhyme schemes. I think you might improve by trying to write in such a style. (Specifically, look at the poems Loses and Passionate.) This isn't the same as a haiku, but it might help you. I appreciate any and all feedback too!

I would be very interested in reading more, so send me a message or something when you post a new poem. To be clear, I did like this. Good job! :)

[Nish]

Thank you for your review.
I will surely keep in mind the points you mentioned.

[TheLostMind]

Loved it. You have really hit home with this one. It is better to have tried and failed than to have never tried at all. Failures are part of our lives, we should learn from them and move ahead. Failures shouldn't stop us from trying new things.

"Just chase your dreams with commitment and belief
As your efforts matter more than what you achieve

Absurd is the belief that life is a race
It is the most beautiful gift given by God's grace..." - You are spot on. It's kinda sad, a lot of people think that Life is a race that has to be won. I personally believe that it's a journey, a journey that teaches us a lot. A journey that has no destination.

A really good poem!

[Nish]

Thank you so much. I am glad you liked my write. As this is my first post, I will be obliged if you give me suggestions to improve my writing also.

[TheLostMind]

I think its really good. You have done quite well in your first write :).