First Kiss...

I hate the feelings I know are true

As they start to turn in to something new.

It’s still a secret between us both

That becomes more confusing when the silence is broke…

Some say I was dreaming, and with all the proof gone

I’m beginning to wonder if that wasn’t it all along…

Though I know for myself that what I felt was real…. And I’m beginning to wonder why my kiss was the one you chose to steal….

While you thought I was sleeping my conscious arose

And told me why my lips felt the breath from your nose.

As your lips brushed mine I knew it was true,

But I still couldn’t believe it was actually you….

Remember back to when I found out the list

I knew my feelings had wandered amiss

So forced them away is what I had done

Because I couldn’t handle not being the one;

And I knew for us all to keep being friends

That I’d have to bring emotions of love to and end….

After all your affection for me was mild

While your feelings for her grew continually wild…..

Then on the bus ride home from our 6 flags trip

As I started to feel sleep take it’s grip

You offered your shoulder, which was hard to refuse

As the battle with fatigue I started to lose.

So with my head in place my body settled into your embrace

And you began to brush away the hair from my face.

You caressed me gently, holding me so

Tracing my features, as though you should know… Every mark on my skin holds a story within

And you suddenly had an impulse to know them.

You became my shield

Yet my feelings still reeled

(“it was her that you loved, not me…”)

My body was numb with fatigue and confusion

I knew what just happened could just be an illusion….

Then I opened my eyes and new it was true,

I was still in your arms, right next to you.

You asked if I slept well, but I didn’t dream

My body had followed it’s own internal scheme…

So quickly my Heart went back to it’s dealings

Confusing once more my ambivalent feelings