Catching the Wind

A small taste of a *potential* story.

~ CATCHING THE WIND, PART ONE ~

Pale skinned, deep blue eyes, luscious golden hair mounted atop a triangular face that oozes loathing, uncoordinated, somewhat intelligent, and fairly tall are some of the things you would say about me: Acemi Banphrionsa. However, say that to my face, I would not hesitate to stab you.
You can say I'm all these things due to the circumstances of my life; living in a withering flower we call planet Earth, having lost my parents at a young age, and never truly made friends that I could trust. Well, "trust" is a touchy and somewhat of an anonymous subject to begin with as I so effortlessly discovered when I was a petite seedling.
You can say I'm the equivalent of a lost princess; far away from home and is now surviving only based on her wits and knowledge of the area around her. Of course, that lost princess always finds home and yes, she finds that prince. For me, it's not such a happy story ending in finding love and glory, I'm still lost but I've given up. Given up on finding my way back home. Why I've been asked on numerous occasions: because it's impossible.

Author's Note

What do you guys think of this rough piece?

~ Please ignore the grammar, punctuation, spelling, and etc. (For now.)

Reviews

[K. Payne]

What I read, your character seems very self-loathing and pessimistic. It can get tiring to hear about negativity especially from first person POV. That means the reader will only be listening to her negative views on everything and not get a break from it. Maybe once you give her more of a back story, the reader will see why she feels this way, but ultimately she needs a real reason why she thinks like this. I hope this helps some.
-Kay

[Lucas Core]

Thank you for the critique! To answer your question, yes, there is a back-story as to why she has such a negative scope of the world. If you would like to know, just read "The Hunt," which is the first chapter of "Catching the Wind." :D Thanks again! I would love it if you can review that chapter as well. :D

[K. Payne]

Sure thing. I'll get to reading it sometime.

[acidmonkey]

I like this piece, but may I ask, are you doing a recreation of frozen or jut using the characteristics of elsa?

[Lucas Core]

:o I just read it and now... it does seem like Elsa! lol No, I had in mind a completely different story! However, I'll give you a HUGE hint, the name Acemi Banphrionsa equates to "Clumsy Princess." :D

[acidmonkey]

Okay I look forward to reading it.

[Lucas Core]

Thank you! :D