Unrequited LoveA Story by NataliePA strange love story of a girl finding for love.I am going to tell a love story that is full of sorrows and forbidden even in our modern world. This guy - rich and every women would want to be with - married me. Initially, I was shocked of course. I didn’t know how to react. But this story isn’t about me. It’s about us - the 3 of us. I met him through an agency. You know, ladies at my age needs a husband isn’t it? He was that charming that I could only look at him from afar. He was like sparkling, literally. I could only dream of having him. “You are just what I wanted.” That’s the first sentence he told me when we met. My heart fluttered. I couldn’t say a word. “I would like to marry you.” Then he continued. Marry me? My heart feels like it’s going to burst anytime. “Well…” I couldn’t speak up. His eyes looked so blue like the sky above. I can’t look at his eyes directly for the fear of it electrocuting me. “I shall let you consider.” He stood up and passes me his namecard before leaving. So… his name is Jonathan. He is a CEO of his photography company. I thought about the idea of marrying a CEO on the way home. I decided. I agree to marry him. He was everything that I could possibly think of. I didn’t have to consider that long in fact - I was in love with him. I called him that day and told him. He sounds neutral about it and asked me for date. I happily agreed. (The next day) “Thanks for agreeing.” He smiled at me. His smile is so warm that melted my heart. “I am glad that you asked me.” I smiled. “I will be in-charge of the invitations, venue and decorations. You just have to be ready when I need you.” He told me. I only remembered " when I need you " this part out of the rest and smiled to myself sweetly. “Sure.” I nodded like a fool. He brought me to a high class restaurant and we started our interactions. The restaurant is so grand that I could only visit it the next life time when I am rich. I was wearing not-so-elegant clothing and I felt a little out of place there. “If you don’t mind, I would like to introduce my best friend and he will be our best man.” He asked me. “Yes, sure. I am more than willing to know your best friend.” I smiled. Then from the corner of my eyes, I saw this really handsome guy walking towards our table. He has a different style from Jonathan. Jonathan is more of a cool prince style and he was a sunshine style. “Hello!” He waved at Jonathan. “Is this lady your future wife?” That guy looked at me. My heart skipped a beat when he said that. “Well yes.” Jonathan said in a cool tone. “Her name is Isabelle. And this is Ken.” He introduced us. “Nice to meet you, Ken.” I shake his hand. “Wow, you have a smooth skin.” Ken commented and I immediately released my hand from his. I peeked at Jonathan and he gives a troubled look for a second. Is he troubled cause of me? “Don’t mind him. He will be helping you with the wedding preparations. If you have any trouble, you could find him.” Jonathan told me. “Okay.” I nodded. Jonathan had a meeting and left us - Ken and me. “So, your name is Isabelle huh?” He was looking at me intensely. However, I could feel gentleness in his look. “Yes. That’s my name.” I felt nervous just by being with him. No idea why. I asked him how he met Jonathan and he told me they were best friend since college. He went shopping with me. He is really a nice guy. He is considerate and sweet towards me too. We went to eat ice cream and had a great time chatting about famous stars on the magazine. I think I will be just well with Ken. As days passed, my wedding day is here. I am so nervous and Ken was so nice to calm me down. When we tried the gown previously, it was still tight for me. Thanks to Ken slimming plan, it fits now. I am so glad that Ken is here to help me. Without parents, I am already so alone. I am glad that I have Jonathan and Ken. “Don’t be nervous okay?” Ken comforts me. “What should I do?” I looked at Ken’s reflection in the mirror. “Just go out there and get married!” Ken smiled at me while holding onto my shoulder. “Thanks Ken, you are a great buddy.” I feel a little better now I guessed. I walked into the church with my bogus dad as Jonathan made up a lie to his parents about my family. I feel a stabbing pain at my chest but looking at Jonathan, I think I am fine with all that lies. I saw my colleagues sitting at one bench and the rest of the bench are full of Jonathan relatives and his parents. I breathe in deeply and saw Ken giving me the “You can do it” look. “Will you, Jonathan take her, Isabelle, to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you two apart?” The priest asked Jonathan. He answered “Yes.” Oh gosh, it’s my turn. “Will you, Isabelle take him, Jonathan, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you two apart?” The priest turns to me and asked me. I looked around…everyone is looking at me. Then I saw Ken’s sad face. He noticed and smiled at me. “Yes, I do.” I turned back and answered. I think that’s what Ken would want isn’t it? “I now hereby announced you two husband and wife. You may exchange your rings.” The priest announced. Everyone was clapping and felt happy for us. I looked at Jonathan…he smile a little. And he gave a small pecked on my lips. We went back to the hotel. I was so nervous about what will be happening soon and started pacing in the room. Then a text message came. *Hey err, I am sorry. You sleep first. I will be late.* Feeling alone, I went to bathe and start to unpack my belongings. We will be staying here for our honeymoon as Jonathan is not possible to leave his job alone. He is such a workaholic man. I smiled as I looked at our wedding photos. My colleagues that are unable to come congrats me through message, I feel so blissed. Feeling my heavy eyelids, I feel asleep. (Just then, Jonathan came back to the hotel. He saw Isabelle hugging onto the photo album.) “Did she fell asleep?” He said to himself and pulls the photo album out of Isabelle’s embrace slowly, feeling afraid of waking her up. (Early morning) Did we do something? The first thing I thought of when I woke up. I lift the blanket and notice that I am still having clothes on. “We didn’t.” Why do I sound disappointed? I get off from the bed, went to change into my jean and singlet and tied a high braids. I went down to restaurant at the hotel to get some breakfast. Jonathan and Ken were there. I walked towards them and Ken smiled at me. “Good morning. Slept well?” Ken asked me. “Yes, I did. Did you?” I asked him back. He nodded and continued eating his breakfast. “Why didn’t you wake me up?” I turned to Jonathan and asked him. “You slept like a dead log.” Jonathan threw me this sentence. “Well, I am sorry then.” Feeling embarrassed, I stood up and went to choose my breakfast. “Wow, such a great variety.” I told myself in delight. “Indeed.” I froze knowing that it was Jonathan standing close behind me. I shift to the side a little and acted normal. “Can I have an omelet please?” I ordered. “What about you, sir?” The man asked. “Omelet too.” Jonathan ordered. While the man is preparing our omelet, Jonathan and I were waiting there. “I would like our privacy to be kept tight.” Jonathan commented. “Tight?” I asked. “Yes. I do not wish anyone to know about our life after marriage. Do you understand?” He said. “Understand.” After saying, he took his omelet and went back to his seat. He is so strict towards me. I took my omelet to my seat and keep silent. “You two are acting weird.” Ken said looking at me. “Weird? No.” I smiled at him. I wish I could complain about Jonathan to Ken. Ken would understand how I feel in minutes. Seriously… “How is the omelet? Taste great isn’t it?” Ken smiled at me and eases the awkwardness a little. “You want to try it?” I passed some of my omelet to Ken. “Could you two stop acting like that?” Jonathan raged. “I am going to work. You packed your things and Ken will bring you home.” Jonathan stood up and left the restaurant. What’s wrong with him? “I will talk to him later.” I stood up. “Isabelle, I think he needs to be alone.” Ken pulled me and said. “I guess you are right.” I sit back down. Is he jealous of me being close to Ken? I wondered to myself. During the journey to my new home, I was excited at the same time worried about Jonathan. How is he now? How would my new house look like since Jonathan chose the furniture and decorate it himself. I think it will be great. Soon, we reached. “This is it.” Ken hand me the key. “I got work to do. You can handle yourself right?” Ken looked at me with a worried face. “Ken…I am not a kid.” I smiled at him and took the key from him. “Well, see you.” Ken patted me and went to his car. He drove off after waving me into the house. I wonder what Jonathan would think of when he is decorating our house. I know we got married in a rush. However, I think I could start knowing Jonathan better if we live together. I opened the door and step into the house. The house is simple. Walls are white, curtains are white and the sofas are white. I walked towards the kitchen, and saw the cupboards being white and the stove have newly bought orange colored base pan. And the cups are orange colored too, so are the utensils. The staircase I went up is made of wood but the handle is white. On the second floor, there are 3 rooms. One is our bedroom, one is the study and the other is where we placed our clothes and accessories. I walked into our bedroom and our bed is pure white and there are side table with lamp on it. Also, there is a dressing table which is white in color. The washroom is just like the washroom in the kitchen -bathtub with towels at the corner, just like hotel. Exploring his study room, the table and the book shelves are made out of wood and there are his items. His items are already in this house. Looking at the time, I unpacked my items. “I should prepare dinner for Jonathan.” I smiled and went out buying grocery. “What should I buy?” How I wished I could call Jonathan to ask him. But he doesn’t allow me to call him when he is at work. He told me when we were talking about ourselves. “Choose pasta with teriyaki sauce.” Just then, I heard a voice behind me. “What?” I got shocked and jump up a little. I turned around and to my amaze I saw Jonathan. Why is he here? “My bodyguard will be always around you. And he reports your movement.” Jonathan whispered in my ears. My face immediately blushed. “Bodyguard? Why is he following me?” I asked him. “I don’t trust you.” Jonathan said and places the pasta with teriyaki packet into the basket. “I will cook the dinner tonight.” He said while we were on the way home. Jonathan stills don’t know me well…that’s why he is cautious against me. I start to wonder what is the reason for him choosing me out of so many girls. I am not that pretty or smart and I don’t have parents to begin with. He started preparing dinner when we reached home and I just sit at the bar table waiting. “Dinner will be ready soon.” Jonathan said. He is so independent. I guess he still not use to two people living together. To be honest, I don’t know Jonathan that well. I guess I can start by asking him questions? “Hey, why were you angry this morning?” The sudden question pops out of my mind. “I am just stress up for work.” He paused for a while before answering me with a neutral face of his. But it isn’t normal for me to see him like. Usually, he only has two expressions. One is a cool and one is with little smiles on his face but not angry or troubled face. I mean he is smart guy and work shouldn’t be a problem for him since he has been in the industry for like 10 years. Maybe he has his trouble but he doesn’t want to share? “I could be a good listening ear.” I said while eating his homemade pasta. “It’s nice.” I smiled at him. He looked at me for a while then continues eating his food again. We didn’t talk much during that dinner time. I hoped that he will be more open to me. I am his wife. I truly want him to tell me his trouble. “So, are you going to work tomorrow?” He asked me while I was washing the dishes. “Yes. I am.” I smiled at him. “Go to sleep after you are done. I will be working.” He said and went upstairs. Is he usually like that? That’s why he has only Ken this best friend? *Hey Ken. You free to talk?* I texted Ken. *Yes, sure.* He replied instantly. I hope Ken will tell me more about Jonathan. We chatted on phone and I asked him lots about Jonathan and found out that Ken was Jonathan only friend. So were those people that came to our wedding just his employees? I also asked if he has any past relationships and Ken paused a while before answering “No.” “May I come in?” I knocked the door. “Yes.” He answered. I walked in with a cup of tea. “Thanks. You don’t have to stay up to wait for me.” He told me. “I know.” I hugged Jonathan from behind and he was shocked that he froze there. After he regains his awareness, he pushes me away. “I am doing work here.” He said in a pissed tone. “I am sorry. Good night.” I said with a sad tone and left his room. I mean I am his wife. He wanted to be with me doesn’t he? I can’t fall asleep. Looking at the celling, I feel emptiness. I have questions I would want to know the answer to. First, why he want to marry me? Second, why he has no friends? Days and days passed, he has been so busy. I always prepare dinner but he isn’t home to eat with me. I will leave it in the fridge and write a note for him. He always leave house in the morning without waking me up. I sometimes wonder if he sleeps beside me. The house is so empty without him. I really miss the day where he makes pasta for me. Did I do anything wrong to him? Thinking of that, tears roll down my cheeks. “Bring me to the nearest bar from here. Please don’t tell sir.” I told the bodyguard. “Yes, madam.” The bodyguard drove me to a bar called “Long Misses” bar. Just what I am feeling right now. I told the bodyguard to go home early and I will manage myself. He nodded and went off. I went into the bar. It was hectic and lots of partying was going on. I ordered “Long Island” and drank a few cups. As I went to the washroom, I saw a person that looks like Jonathan. Who is that girl beside her? I must be imagining things. Jonathan is busy at his office. “Not possible.” I told myself as I splash water onto my face to make sure I am awake. I walked out and I saw them walking out of the bar. I followed them. This is our house. I am sure. I paid the driver and went to hide at a corner. My heart broke into pieces when I saw them kissed. KISSED! I almost fainted. I fall to the ground and started to know why he wouldn’t be close to me. Why he marry me then? I was so broken that I can’t stand back up. (Next day) “You got a new text message!” Oh gosh, I fell asleep outside. Message? Who message me early in the morning? *Where are you?* *You should be home.* *Please return my call.* Why would Jonathan care about me since he is having woman outside. Thinking of yesterday, there was sharp stabbing pain in my heart again. I slowly walked to my house door and opened the door. I just want to sleep and don’t think of anything. I am so tired. “You are finally home.” I looked up to see Jonathan. Whenever I see his face now, I feel coldness in my heart. How can he be so neutral to me? “Yes.” I acted normal. Well, I love him. I didn’t want to lose him. At least being able to stay by his side and live with him is good enough for me. In fact, I shouldn’t be able to close to him. He is a prince while I am just a normal people. I sorted out while looking at him. I don’t mind if he have woman outside. I just want to support by his side and be his listening ears. “Why aren’t you at home? And why didn’t you pick up the phone?” He questioned me. “I was with my friend.” I had to lie. If he knew I was at the bar. He would know that I saw them. “I stayed overnight.” I said. “Next time please tell me. I fired that bodyguard.” Jonathan told me. “Please hire him back. I asked him not to tell you my whereabouts. I just want to enjoy one night with my friends.” I looked at him with sorrows. “Please hire him back.” I repeated myself like I am devastated. “Are you okay?” Jonathan quickly asked me seeing my pale face. “Yes. Please go to work.” I urged him and went upstairs. I remove my make-ups and started to cry. I am such a hopeless girl. I wanted to say it all out but thought about it…telling others about my husband having affair isn’t a good idea. I didn’t want him to be gossiped by others. He is already so alone with so little friends. Once again, I ate dinner myself. This house is too big for me. (That night) (Jonathan came back to see Isabelle asleep.) “Why do you have to cheat on me?” (He heard Isabelle murmuring during her sleep) “I will let you be with that girl, so please, let’s just remain like this? Don’t divorce.” (Jonathan found out that Isabelle knew his affair.) (Next morning) I woke up. I am alone again. I prepare myself for work and went downstairs. “Good morning.” A voice hit me. He is at work, wouldn’t be here. I ignored the voice. Then I saw a figure. I am still dreaming. “Wake up.” I slapped myself. “You are awake. Mum said we are going on a trip. So, I applied leave for you.” Then I realized, it is really Jonathan in front of me, wearing his home clothes. I stared at him long enough. “Jonathan?” I asked. “Yes, is me.” Jonathan said. “Is Ken coming with us?” I asked. “Why ask that?” Jonathan seems a bit off and asked. “No, this is family trip.” Jonathan immediately answered. “You and Ken are close buddy. So I thought I could call him along?” I want to ask Ken personally about Jonathan’s woman though. I guessed I have to find other chances. “Mum wouldn’t allow.” Jonathan said. “Well, let’s go.” He said. “What? Now?" I was in shocked. That’s too sudden. A trip. It was a long plane trip. I fell asleep. I am really so tired. (Isabelle leans on Jonathan accidentally while sleeping. Jonathan wanted to push her head away but he didn’t.) “So that is how she looks like close up.” Jonathan mumbled to himself. “I guess she is a nice lady to start with…But…” Jonathan stopped his thought. (Hawaii) “Here we are!” I exclaimed in excitement. Never been here before. “Jonathan, you and Isabelle have fun. Your dad and I can settle ourselves.” Mother-in-law told Jonathan. “Please don’t disturb us.” Mother-in-law smiled at Jonathan and me before walking off with father-in-law. “I guess it’s we two here.” Jonathan told me. “I asked Ken here too. He will be here tomorrow.” I smiled at Jonathan but he frowned a little and gave that neutral look again. “I want to make use of this full day to know you well.” Jonathan looked at me. My heart melts at his words again. He is such a bad person. I just get myself convince that I can let him go. Why is he making me so troubled again? The whole day I was with Jonathan. And night came. He brought me to a beach bar. “Such a romantic and nice place.” I said. “Yes, indeed.” He smiled a little. I drank with him and felt a little tipsy. “You know…I love to see your smile. And everything about you is making me so in love. I really can be your listening ears you know? I know I am not pretty or smart. But my virtue is being a good listener. I really won’t tell anyone. Please smile more. I can be your confident if I can’t be your wife.” I blurted out and hugged him tightly. “I know you don’t love me.” I said it before I pass out. (Jonathan felt something going on in his heart. He felt weird. He looked at Isabelle. In his heart, she is a girl. A girl that treats him genuinely. A girl that would sacrifice herself. A girl that loves him. That word love floated in Jonathan’s mind as he carries Isabelle to their room) (Next day) My head hurts, but not as much as my heart. I turned to my side. To my amaze, Jonathan was there " sleeping. Did he sleep beside me yesterday? I start to get confused. Is he guilty? “You are awake?” Jonathan opened his eyes. “Gosh, yes.” I said in shocked. Is he awake all the time? “Let’s have our breakfast.” Jonathan said. “Sure.” I said. “Ken is downstairs waiting for us. He texted me.” Jonathan told me. We prepared and went down to meet Ken. Ken gave me a wide smile and I saw mother-in-law at his table. “Son, we saw Ken here when we came down.” Mother-in-law told us. “Yes, I am here for business. What a coincidence.” Ken smiled. We sat down and Jonathan brings me food. Why is he acting all weird? Suddenly so nice towards me and smile more than he usually does. That’s really weird. I know, he is acting for his parents to see. I get it and looked at him with sorrow. I turned towards Ken and he looks weird. “Ken, are you okay?” I mouthed out the words and he nodded before going to washroom. “Jonathan, could you follow Ken?” I asked Jonathan. He nodded and followed Ken to the washroom. “Why are they taking so long?” Mother-in-law asked me. “Well, you could go with your plan. I will wait for them here.” I told mother-in-law. “Yes, we shall go. Right, dear?” Mother-in-law smiled at father-in-law and they both stand up and left. I walked to the washroom. Where are they? I asked the bellman to check the toilet but they aren’t there. I looked around and arrived at the beach. I asked around and saw them. I wanted to shout to them but found myself hiding. The scene looks familiar. I saw them hugging. Jonathan was having affair with Ken? Jonathan is gay? Then the truth hit me. Jonathan marries me as a pretext to cover that he is gay. But why me? Why me? “Are you okay?” The bar lady asked me. “Yes.” I ran off in tears. I can’t hold back. But that night I saw a woman not a man. Maybe Jonathan is comforting Ken so they are hugging. That’s possible. But I know I saw Ken giving Jonathan a peck on his cheek. I saw it with my own eyes. Why am I lying to myself? I can’t face them. I walked back to the restaurant I were at for breakfast and sat down. I dazed there. Everything is clear now. Why Ken look so sad when we got married. Why Jonathan turned so angry when Ken and I were closer. He loves him. He has emotions when he is with Ken. So I am just a tool? I felt anger. “Where did mum and dad go?” I heard him. “They went for their date.” I calm myself down and turn to answered Jonathan smiling. Then I saw Ken smiling at me. I thought he was my best friend too. His betrayal hurt me a lot. “You feel better now?” I asked Ken. “Yes, thanks Isabelle.” Ken continues to show me that sunshine smile of his. He makes me feel so guilty if I break them up. I am the third party actually. “I was telling Jonathan about this place in Hawaii that is so amazing that we have to check it out.” Ken told me. “Well, cool. We shall go together.” I said. “You sure you want Ken to disturb us?” Jonathan joked. Then I realized that they have been giving each other looks that should already hint me. “Well, 3 will be fun.” I smiled. I should have notice it earlier. My hold on to my tears so that neither of them would suspect that I knew the truth. We went to this amazing place that Ken introduced to us. It is a big amusement park. I have not been here since ages. I want to forget everything and enjoy myself. I thought to myself. Jonathan pushed Ken to the counter and they bought 3 tickets. Only with Ken, Jonathan can be himself. My heart was so painful like it was bleeding. I have to even forced myself to smile whenever I feel them looking at me. Why did he have to lie to me? He could just tell me the truth. I already said I can be his listening ears. Why wouldn’t he trust me? “This is so fun.” Ken laughed. “Yes, I never had so much freedom.” Jonathan smiled back. He smiled at him. I was only there so that people won’t suspect a thing. I got married to Jonathan so that he could have freedom. The vows of marriage flashes through my mind. Is he saying that to Ken? “What are you thinking about?” Jonathan asked me when we were eating ice cream and the ice cream dripped onto my clothes. “Nothing.” I took a tissue and clean my clothes. “I need the washroom.” I told them and turn away and walked away. I headed to the washroom and clean up. I looked myself into the mirror. “You shouldn’t interfere their love.” I said to myself. “You are such a bad woman.” I cried. Later, I didn’t head back. I went back to the hotel instead. I can’t bring myself to see Jonathan and Ken. I am not strong enough. *Sorry, I am not feeling well. Enjoy.* I guess they will enjoy happily. I was a third party. I lay on the bed thinking about my life. I wasn’t supposed to have Jonathan such a fine man. I went to dreamland while thinking about it. (Jonathan came back when he receive Isabelle message and touched her forehead) “Is she okay?” He asked himself. “I should have asked her to go home just now seeing her so sad.” (Then he saw her tears) “Why is she crying? Is she bullied in her dreams too?” He asked. (Next day) “Morning. Feeling better?” Jonathan asked me. “Yes.” I nodded. “Let me see.” He tried to touch my forehead but I turned away. “I am okay. You have fun yesterday?” I looked at him and asked. “It wasn’t fun without you.” Jonathan said. Why is he acting nice to me still? When will he tell me the truth? “Can you be real to me once?” I shouted at Jonathan and Ken heard it when he saw us at the corridor. “What do you mean?” Jonathan looked confusing at me. “I know everything. I know your affair. I know who the person is. Why only with me you can’t be yourself? Cause I am a woman? I can’t be trusted? You never once smile at me or have other expressions except for neutral expression. In your eyes, am I just a tool for you? A tool? Why you even marry me when you only love me? Why me?” My face is full of tears by then and I ran out of the hotel. I am so confused right now. I just blurted out all my unhappiness and told them I knew their relationship. My mind went so blank. “Watch out!” Just then, everything happened so soon. The car was honking at me and it was right in front of me. But I am alright. Why? The next moment, I found myself in the hospital. Why am in hospital? “What happened?” I asked. “You tried to save Isabelle and you two got into an accident but she passed on.” A voice told me. “What? I tried saving Isabelle? But I am Isabelle.” I said. “Ken, what are you talking about?” Jonathan looked worried and confused. “I think you need some rest. I will come back to you. I will ask the doctor to check up on you.” Jonathan went out for the doctor. “You had a tumor and luckily Isabelle signed a donation of organ formed long time ago. We gave you her brain.” The doctor walked in and told me. “You need time to adjust.” The doctor told me and left. I am Ken? I went to the mirror and saw myself. No way, I am Isabelle. I am not Ken. I don’t have any Ken’s memories at all. “Ken!” Jonathan slammed the door and hugged me. “I am so worried about you. I can’t live without you. It is a mistake for me marrying Isabelle in anger…because you were going to leave me and I panicked and make wrong decisions.” Jonathan hugged me tighter. “At first I thought I feel something for her and treat her nicer but then I realized she resembles you. That’s why I made mistakes. Please forgive me.” “Jonathan…” Tears choked my words. So, he didn’t love me at all. I was just a stand in when Ken wasn’t with him. “I love you.”
© 2015 NataliePAuthor's Note
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