Dark Demise

Months of perseverance seep from my veins
The feeling has come, I tried not to crave
With surgical precision on an all time high
Meticulously I craft yet another perfect line
Fulfilling the addiction, marking signs.

Tomorrow will bring more of the same
Coping forever with despair and pain,
Feel this cold, stainless piece of steel
A forbidden friend that helps reveal
What words cannot say in this ordeal.

Frustrations come, hold nothing back
Bleed starts with unstable cracks
The balance lost, begins to cry
For that ever watchful demons eye
Inside he waits for his time.

Already torn, this ripped up heart
Shamelessly follows this gloomy path
Once part of a cycle, staying alive
Crimson destruction now waits to die
Nothing left, no reason to try.

So forbidden friend, seduce my soul
One more time, to make us whole
You have me hooked, bonded by lust,
My true desire is your dark touch
Forever you are the one I trust.
 

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Brilliantly dark. Of course it is a disaster, but there is a beauty and fascination about it. We humans are endlessly odd in our ways, in what we do to others and ourselves. I almost swoon just thinking about the blood in me. The thought of your steel friend shocks me to my core.

That said the poem is a great read. The idea of having an affair with the dark force is alluring. We have to watch, to sense how it is for this strange love. We are somehow witnessing an exquisitely private and intimate act as we read.

[pal]

Well structured beautifully written poem.
Pal

[TamiViolet]

Your dark work is among the best I've read. The moment captured so marvelously and the imagery takes the reader on a journey where we want to know more, know all.... even if the answer sends chills up and down our spines... Last stanza is my favorite though the entire verse is so very exceptional, Natalie. 'seduce my soul/One more time, to make us whole...' love it.

[justjenn_2u]

This speaks to me about addiction. If this is your intention, I can surely relate. You sparked emotion in me in this piece. Your raw honesty is powerful.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That was spinetinglingly sensual... Those who are bad for us always have such an appeal... you can really grip the reader with your creative expression.

[Lucy Joan]

Amazing poem and a photo to match. Similarly, I use photographs for inspiration in my poetry; but your poem had a dark, painful, mysterious edge to it. The rhyme, although unecessary, made the poem clear and imaginable. Again, amazing poem.

[Lisa]

Wow, I love this! It's so deeply written. I can really sence the erge here! You are a very talented writer. All I can say is, keep giving me mre! Great stuff! :-)

[Coyote Poetry]

This poem is so good. Photo made the words come alive. Every line added up and create a painful vision. Description and your detail brought this poem to life. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[kewlbluetiger]

So chilling! Wow the stainless steel imagery is really incredible. The dark words you have crafted dance on death. A morbid determination rises over a sense of hopelessness and despair. This writing really does stick with the reader and makes you want to reread to pull more meaning, but it's scary to do. These lines are my favorite and are so darkly well conjured:
"Already torn, this ripped up heart
Shamelessly follows this gloomy path
Once part of a cycle, staying alive
Crimson destruction now waits to die
Nothing left, no reason to try."
Fantastically dark write. I'm a new fan of your work!

[V. Lucien Maier]

umm the topic is a bit morbid. but alright that is what you are going for.
the Vocabulary is astonishing. You have a real word ability.
the flow is really well done and pulls the reader through.
excellent write.