Forgiving Salvation

Tried something different...

In darkness we all stand as one,
Next to the open grave lies
An empty tomb,
Nameless, alone.

Hallucinating stone induces
Horrific revelations of pasts,
Slowly creeping,
Gnawing,
Demonically luring -

Filling holes that will never be full,
In lifeless worn hands,
Needlessly thrown away,
Into rusty nails on a lonely cross.

Another drop of innocence lost,
Once beautiful, wild,
Now crucified.
Soul bleeds for hope rekindled,
But will never succeed,
In salvation of humankind.

Corpse of life
Keep twisting knives
Whilst demons play
In playgrounds of yesterday

Locked within tarnished chains
Human sacrifices consume minds,
Obnoxious scriptures
Cremate walls

Kingdom of synagogues fall,
Leaving living flesh hanging,
Ripping eyes until unable to see,
If anything is left apart from lies.

Saturated drops of holy fluids,
Run down wooden grain,
Drenching the eagerest of passions,
Whilst evil hovers above the crown.

He stands in front of you silently,
Patiently knowing
That the world wants more,
Than a sacrificial lamb,
Skinned to the bone.

Thorn invested but not alone,
Body broken by the hateful blows,
Still gathers strength
Saving one last precious breath -

For forgiveness of us all,
Under the cross where millions have cried :
"Salvation is ours!"
Wishing there was a different way.

 

Reviews

[Kelly D. Burris]

I love the imagery in this piece. I also like the descriptions of all the torment and evil around,in contrast to what's going on, like it's trying to divert our attention. Isn't that the way it really is though. How we drag Christ into this evil and he endures it with love for us. He's done so much for us, yet we have such a difficult time wrapping our heads around the simplicity of it, when in actuality all we need is to see the sacrifice with our hearts, to truly understand. You did an awesome job on this piece!

He stands in front of you silently,
Patiently knowing
That the world wants more,
Than a sacrificial lamb,
Skinned to the bone.


For forgiveness of us all,
Under the cross where millions have cried :
"Salvation is ours!"
Wishing there was a different way.

[R J Askew]

'The world wants more' is the line for me...there there seems to be excess everywhere at every turn. We art totally impatient creatures, can never be static, always moving as if driven by some crazy biology that gives us no peace, personally or as a species. Life is not easy. Perhaps if we stop wanting more we are finished. And the demons I read as viruses, anything that threatens us. I don't think we will ever find proper peace...and would die of boredom if we did.

[Robert Luna]

Ok this is a different write for you so I am going to give you a different type of review. I was read earlier today some stuff on religion and America's founding fathers. What i found most interest about this was a large majority of them all said things negatively about religion being a part of the make up of this country. The one thing said that made me think about that and this piece was that Thomas Jefferson said Christianity is based on the worst possible thing. Abuse think about this they worship a belief of salvation from the suffering of another. The crucification is the most horrific torture one could be inflicted with and they worship as it was the greatest thing ever. Another not sure who said Since Christianity was formed and became the dominate religion the world has only gotten worst. Don't know but your words got me thinking about that and I was in awe with you and your words making me think about such things

Well Done!!!!!!

[Rachel Hays]

You're so angry and I love it! Haha. This really blew me away. The first lines didn't give any hint as to where you were taking this, which gave it a terrific twist! I swear, your play on words in beyong phenomenal. There are so many wonderfully painful lines here. "Leaving living flesh hanging," is such a good one. You not only have a powerful and rhytmic start with the double L's, but it's incredibly vivid. You really put yourself here, as well, with the line "He stands in front of you silently,/Patiently knowing/That the world wants more,/Than a sacrificial lamb,/Skinned to the bone." It's another powerful line that not only shows your talent, but your intellect.
It's a horrible truth that you have tapped into and shared the fact that so many ignore, This is what happens to heros. Hell, maybe not even heros. Maybe celebrity is a better word (to use in general-hoping to save us all from religious debates **rolls eyes**) The personal beliefs of anyone who reads doesn't mean a thing. The fact is, you took this and rocked it! Thank you!

This was a very interesting read. I like the way you described the events that were happening.

[The Tao of Bri]

A very dark piece that is as powerful as the words you chose. Incredible piece that really shows nad tells the message that helps us all in dark times!

[Caitbabie008]

GOOD write! :)

[Gary H]

This is really brilliant in the way the reader gets lured into the poem. The first line is metaphorical but not realised as it is read. Until the nightmare unfolds before our eyes, as we become absorbed in the images of foreboding, thats when that line really hits us. The human race has removed the light from life.

This is a reflection on how we destroy our saviours and each other in the process. The horror is upon us, we are that living horror.

Great work xx