Finally

 

 

Lost days, counted by

As the soul prays one last time

Hoping to find its way

Standing at the back of the line

Where tears never reach

The heart’s desire of being free

Trapped in a world

Between life and death

Frantically gasping for one last breath

 

Demons grab the very core of me

Millions of eyes

Turned away from the scene

The brutal onslaught has begun

Devouring a person already torn

Just go on your way

Don’t ever look back

Life has flipped the coin

As yet another angel falls

 

Heaven’s grace

Softly touching a face

Heartlessly disfigured by time

Forgiving my ultimate crime

Carefully placing me down

On now a grassy bed

Closing the windows

Allowing me to finally rest

Inside this man made chest

 

Do not weep next to my tomb

For a name etched on stone

Doesn’t mean that I am home

Deep within this grave

Lies a body broken...

Completely alone

Decayed by time

Hardship’s willing slave

Silently faded away

Reviews

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is full of such painful and powerful emotion and startling imagery. Fallen angels.... disfigured... gasping for one last breath... The darkness within really shows in this writing.

The final stanza is beautifully sad and if you just read the last words of each line you really get the message - tomb/stone/home/grave/broken/alone/time/slave/away.

I hope you are not personally feeling as alone and trapped as is portrayed by the narrator of this poem because that is heart-breaking.

A very moving and powerful piece.

a name etched on stone - I love that line. For all it's simplicity it says so much.

Very well written. Thank you for sending it my way.

NH

[Jessi]

Such power in this write, very good emotion. Great write

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Dark and beautifully penned. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

[Lee W. Deason]

This one I feel is your most efficient speaker when it comes to your work.
With little words, and without having to stretch the diction you communicated loud and clear.
Also coming across strong with the imagery without sacrificing the flow of the poem.
I like like like, the good write.
�Lee�

[bluessadmood]

Its when time comes,everything comes to standstill,even tears will not come,free to go or come we are not,stuck both alive and dead,like a nightmare,yes then we know its time

[Nick Erickson]

The lonlienss of this piece is overwhleming.
As I read this piece my mind was taken to a deep, dark and tormenting place.
The end is great, reminding everyone that a grave is no place to weep, as there is only a torn and battered body laying there.
Well done.

[Laughing Lunatic]

Its like your painting a masterpiece with your words! Your work is so beautiful, emotional and dark. I love it!!!

[Natasha Ashway]

There is always a pivotal point of emotion for me, sometimes it's my favorite line, sometimes it's just when the knife is twisted in the cut into soul your words create, driving it deeper in.

Standing at the back of the line / Where tears never reach

That's the point for me. Where the silent sob sounds.

Tragic emotions. Real, sad, picturesque. Hmm....

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I get the sense of someone seeking salvation simply out of fear and not faith.
A powerfully dark and mysterious piece... Impressive work young lady.

[Sean M. Addams]

very powerful and emotional piece.... love the imagery in this ... great job.

[Dezaraye]

Wow, this piece is powerful. The emotion you weave in your lines is really well expressed. I like your formatting and your imagery. Very nice writing.