Finally

 

 

Lost days, counted by

As the soul prays one last time

Hoping to find its way

Standing at the back of the line

Where tears never reach

The heart’s desire of being free

Trapped in a world

Between life and death

Frantically gasping for one last breath

 

Demons grab the very core of me

Millions of eyes

Turned away from the scene

The brutal onslaught has begun

Devouring a person already torn

Just go on your way

Don’t ever look back

Life has flipped the coin

As yet another angel falls

 

Heaven’s grace

Softly touching a face

Heartlessly disfigured by time

Forgiving my ultimate crime

Carefully placing me down

On now a grassy bed

Closing the windows

Allowing me to finally rest

Inside this man made chest

 

Do not weep next to my tomb

For a name etched on stone

Doesn’t mean that I am home

Deep within this grave

Lies a body broken...

Completely alone

Decayed by time

Hardship’s willing slave

Silently faded away

Reviews

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is full of such painful and powerful emotion and startling imagery. Fallen angels.... disfigured... gasping for one last breath... The darkness within really shows in this writing.

The final stanza is beautifully sad and if you just read the last words of each line you really get the message - tomb/stone/home/grave/broken/alone/time/slave/away.

I hope you are not personally feeling as alone and trapped as is portrayed by the narrator of this poem because that is heart-breaking.

A very moving and powerful piece.

a name etched on stone - I love that line. For all it's simplicity it says so much.

Very well written. Thank you for sending it my way.

NH

[Crazy Cat Man]

I love your dark twisted poetry :)

[Leslie Philibert]

Lots of good lines here,especially liked the phrase..Hardship`s willing slave silently
faded away,which throws up a whole range of interesting ideas.You keep well to your style and work the subject consistently.Good work.

[Twilight]

I think that the idea of being left "in limbo" features in this beautiful poem. Also, it's a very emotional piece, and the protaonist seems to be yearning for freedom. Perhaps she is also trying to potray the process of dying? Furthermore, she does not want anybody to pity her departure from this mortal realm, as suggested by the line which reads, "Do not weep next to my tomb". Loneliness, hardship and time have damaged the protagonist's life (as implied in the last verse). She seems to have become weary with life and accepts the inevitability of her death.

[Leran Vakem]

we may fade away in time but for a certain few we would be immortals, and thats what everybody aims for

[Indira]

bare truth............well it reflects the pain that every mortal soul carries within, your poem is a mirror of the unnoticed soul.
well done

[Karlie]

this was a very powerful poem. I really enjoyed it. Nice Write. Keep Writing.


KaRLie

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Natalie, this is a moving poem ,, it gives me shivers and makes me feel so alone and sad.. your words convey these feelings well.. as usual a great poem.

Chloe
xoxo

[Legion]

Beautifully sad. A write worth reading. Good work and I love the pic you put with this as well. Oh, and by the way, I grabbed no one's core. Unless, of course, you have the video to prove it. ;)

[[untitled]]

This is very sad, and beautifully so. Strong words and imagery. Thank you for sharing

[These Haunted Hallways]

Holy S***!!! Damn, u were so good in this one!!! I have to give ya a medal for this one hehe. I felt every word, words from your aching soul, i could feel. Indeed this was said with perfection that says it completely. Beautifully tragic.

B.A.