Sun Rise

 

Standing here, on my now broken highway,

In the middle of this distorted path

Terrifying visions leads

To concealed bruises

Of your twisted wrath

Griping the key, turning my face

To the place where you have hurt me

 

Many nights of prayers

Carries silent evidence

That no one hears

Where fingerprints remain

Under layers of broken skin

Stained by the anger within

 

The damage stays

Inside the cambers of my mental decay

Knowing things would never change

In corridors filled with unbearable pain

Whilst fear inhibits the sickening mind  

 

Splintered bones

On piles of aching debris

No one could ever save me

In the graveyard of no return

Where suffocating hands had shown

Whom you forcefully own

 

Continued hell

Telling everyone I fell

Further and further down

My darkened hole

Where colours of my world fades

With the dissolving of a useless life

 

Out of control

Another bash against the wall

Blood streaks

Splatters everywhere

Whilst all that ever matters

Runs rivers, red and raging

Down a spine arching against the blows

 

Falling hopelessly to my  knees

Hoping for a merciful release

As violent kicks, dents the soul

How could I ever again be whole,

In this world now turned up side down

 

Mental picture stains

Destroying all faith that might remain

Pleading one last time

That the sun would once again rise

Ending this vicious streak

Giving life back to me

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

I'll focus on the strong images: 'Broken and distorted highway' -- out in the open but going where? 'Corridors filled with unbearable pain' -- hemmed in, trapped. 'Splintered bones on piles of aching debris' -- broken and defeated. 'My darkened hole' -- final collapse all around. Yet the poem ends optimistically, as you can still think of the sun. This is the key point in that it shows hope. Also the word 'rise' in the title can be read as a verb, subliminally.

[Laughing Lunatic]

The imagery and emotion in this peice is so powerful.
As violent kicks, dents the soul
How could I ever again be whole,
I felt the pain of no escape pouring out of this work of art you wrote. Great write!!

[Jd Young]

Sorry, I accidentally deleted my review. Thought I had it twice, but that was just because I was the first person to review it. I WAS! :)

What I see in this poem is a girl who has lost all hope. She is wanting and wanting and can't get out. I feel like I'm locked up inside this world with her. I feel so intune with her and I feel as though I'm just a spectator, yet suffering from everything that she is. How can this girl escape from this chained abyss? How can she find her parallel in life? She can't. This portrait reminds me of No Escape. My god, how I feel for this girl, I really do.

Its hard to know that she won't see the sunrise, but others can.

[Joseph - Michael]

That was quite an unusual writing I've ever read in so long. I don't even know where to begin. Somehow, I don't know why, but it sort of sound like the vampire's final moment as enjoying the sunrise as it would be the last time. And the picture does show it well

Anyway, I really did enjoyed reading it, so it's all good...

[Lori]

Wonderful and effective images throughout the poem. It's a very sad poem in seeing the bruised body and broken spirt, and the reader is left wanting to see a new sun rise for the poet.

[Nicholas Hallows]

This is a very deep piece. I had just been reading a lighter piece but as soon as I started reading this I was drawn right into this dark place. Well done. NH

[Gary H]

This is a very hard poem to review. Also it's very clever. The stanza lengths are different giving the impact of breathing not quite together - hurt comes through in the writing, the sentence structure full of horrifying images and power of thought showing you are not going to give up easily without a fight - the 'pleading' being a forceful note in this.
Also there are lots of alliterative phrasing making the sounds flow through the readers mind then shocking to realise what has been read. In construction this is really well thought out. The nightmare here will live with me while I sit and read through this again and again, hoping for some kind of redemption.
The fatalism shown here will not be your destiny. I hope you believe that.

[The Tao of Bri]

This dark night of the soul that broke you (as with actual bone)this poem stands as the fissure mended now stronger than you were before because it is such a brave piece to share and to face within yourself. Peace and Light to you as you have shared yours with us through the jounrey in this dark peice.

[Lee W. Deason]

I am sorry for the experience but you did well with making the violence like a drug. Something you can't get away from. Kind of like a forced addiction. Once again good job.

[Belle Morte]

The imagery and emotion in this peice is so powerful. It saddens me to my soul and reminds of darker days in my life. This is a terrifically wonderful write luv. Thank you so much for sending it to me.

"Falling to my hopelessly knees"
I think you meant to have "hopeless" instead of "hopelessly".