Sanity Lost

 

Months of perseverance

Seeps from my veins

Remembering a feeling

I tried so hard not to crave

With surgical precision  

I am on an all time high

Meticulously crafting yet another perfect line

Fulfilling my addiction of a different kind

 

Tomorrow is another day

Maybe finding a new way

To cope with this unspeakable despair

But today I am going to rely

On this cold, stainless piece of steel

To help me to reveal

All that I am unable to say

 

Frustrations, wash down the sink

Trying to find the balance

Inside the cracks of a unstable life

Holding nothing back

Keeping an ever watchful eye

On a fluid that never runs dry

Completing my cycle of staying alive

 

Crimson and thick

Never did I stop to think

That this addiction

Would once again become

An active part of this already torn heart

Shamelessly following this gloomy path

Right into a world so threatening

 

Forbidden friend, so quiet

Seductress of my soul

You have me hooked

Bond by a lust, with which you have me fooled  

Desiring your touch

You have left me in the dark

Staring at the aftermath of a living corpse

Now naked, covered in precious blood

 

 

Reviews

[The Tao of Bri]

A very powerfully strong poem from the depths of the core. REsigned, yet there is a glimmer of a hope and that is all that takes for a flash of lightning to cut or save. Vivd imagery..your word usage has many particualrly poignant reverberations...instilling that much more tension and release in the poem.

[Drea]

I recently read Gary's piece at his request and he informed me that it was based on this work of yours as a study on how different words can altar the feel of a poem. He sent a link to yours and so here I am. He noted the two of you were interested in seeing what the reactions would be.
I should note that apparently I was able to surmise the gist of the topic in Gary's work. Though it did take a deal more mental prowess and patience to do so; given the style he chose.
If I were to compare the two in the most simplistic fashion I would say that the words Gary chose wove a heavy, textured, brocade cloth, frayed, and stained with the deepest shades of self inflicted burgundy. Where as your version are the crisp words found in the coroners office of surgical steel and tile floor with bright red splashed across white cotton sheet.

Both pieces take us to places we do not wish to visit. Both come to the same conclusion. Its just a question of what sort of ride we took along the way. Was it an eerie night walk through the deep, dark, thicket tangled forest; or the nightmare of heels clicking on sterile floors down a cold hallway to a door we are horrified to open.

[Treasaigh (The Solitar..]

This is a very raw piece, on such a taboo subject matter. Yet so many people feel the need to afflict pain upon themselves in order to feel alive..or to take away from another sort of pain in their life. Very dark..very powerful write.

[Laura Sparkle]

"Meticulously crafting yet another perfect line Fulfilling my addiction of a different kind" "But today I am going to rely On this cold, stainless piece of steel To help me to reveal All that I am unable to say" "Never did I stop to think That this addiction Would once again become An active part of this already torn heart " "Desiring your touch You have left me in the dark Staring at the aftermath of a living corpse"

These lines are so powerful, this bloody world so familiar for me. You brought back all what I thought could never happen but did. All the memories that made me stronger than I used to be. A sad truth isn't it? To be in love and forgotten by the one you need. I love the poem a true favorite of yours indeed. Well done Nats :)

[shadadakiya]

well im not sure what the core is but this a very deep poem you can take a few diffrent ways great work

[Tyler James]

this was a lot darker than the stuff i've read by you before, but i enjoyed it just the same. It was powerful with a twist...just when it think its no longer possible, you somehow manage to defy the odds and increase your ever growing stature with your words.

[J.P.O.et]

Wow, awesome work
this is truly powerfull, I was thinking addiction
of a different kind but I get your intent.
The color and presentation only helps to hammer home the point
Never really thought of it like that
J.P.O.et

[James Takeo Panton]

deep and dark.....it cuts like a knife, fittingly....

[Glee]

Nice poem. Sounds a little creepy. The cold piece of steel must be a knife. Sounds like a suicidal love ordeal.

[Nikki]

hey hun ^^
ok i have read, and writen a s**t load of self mutilation, considering that was my one time theme i had (then i go thrown into therapy and consider safe to go into society ^^) wow i digress A LOT sorry. ok now as i was trying to state before i got lost in my own thoughts ^^ "Crimson" is waaaay to over used. people usually use that as a safe term, im not saying you are though, so you might want to try a different word. there's vermillion, rust, red, rose, rustic rose and such well good write love your words.

all the love and such,
Nikki

[Jd Young]

It took me forever before I could finally muster up the courage to review this poem. The character of this poem has a burden that I once had. It's crippling and it hurts. We so long want to find that thing that makes us real, and some people believe that they can find it by cutting beneath the surface. I found that by cutting, it only buries the pain deeper. It only cuts into the character of you soul even more, that's what it did to me. I can feel the pain of this character that you created Natalie, a miserable burden, one that eventually cuts away the life. Stopping is the hard part, it's really no different than an addiction, because once the color sets in. Your hooked.