Chapter 7

The next day Brittany woke up and walked around in a kind of trance. It was as if she wasn’t all there. She received funny looks from the other prisoners, but she didn’t’ really care. That afternoon was her first meeting with her psychologist. She walked into the room and sat down. Ms. Thompson, the psychologist, walked in and sat opposite Brittany.
“Hello, Brittany. How are you today?” She said with a very caring voice.
“Been better and yourself?” Brittany replied in a monotone.
“Doin’ just fine, thanks. Now I’m sure you know why I’m here, but we’re just going to change things up a bit, okay?”
“Yeah, Whatever.”
“Now I’m going to give you this journal and this one pen okay. I want you to write in here every single thought you have, happy or sad, everyday. Do you understand?”
“Yes Ma’me.”
“That’s a start. This journal is for your own personal use. I’m not going to read it. The most I’m going to do is check the dates okay?”
“Yes, but why am I doing this?”
“Because you’re going to look back on this as a growing experience. You may think of it just as a punishment than anything else right now. Trust me okay?”
“Yes, Ma’me.”
They talked about what happened to her dad and mom. But when they finished that conversation, it was time for Brittany to head back to her cell. Ms. Thompson told Brittany that she’d be back in two days and they would discuss “things” in more detail at the next session in two days.
Brittany went back to her cell reaccounting everything that had happened that day. She like Ms. Thompson a lot. She wasn’t much older than herself so she could relate. She wasn’t too sure about the whole journal idea. Brittany fell asleep and awoke in a cold sweat. She had had that same dream from when her mom died only this time her mom was mad that she was in jail. Brittany’s immediate reaction was to pull out the journal and write it all down.
Brittany wrote about her mother’s death and how it made her feel. She also wrote about how she never knew her dad and how that impacted her life. Writing in that journal gave Brittany a peace; a peace that came only from having a good cry, but Brittany didn’t cry. She just put every emotion that she had into that piece of paper. The journal was her outlet; the outlet she needed to get through her hard times to come. She felt so much better! She closed the journal and went back to sleep.
The next day Brittany had a smile on her face. She had been there for four days now and she didn’t even care. Anytime she felt sad she’d pull out her journal and just write. It always made her feel better. She knew Ms. Thompson was coming the next day and she was so excited that she couldn’t even sleep that night.
Ms. Thompson walked into the room and received a hug from Brittany. Brittany couldn’t contain her joy. She burst out with, “How did you know about the whole journal thing. I feel like a million bucks. I’ve never felt so free in my life.”
“Well, I’m glad to see that you’re doing a lot better. Now many I see your journal.”
“Of course.” Brittany pulled out her journal. “You can even read it if you wanna, I don’t mind.” Brittany said shrugging.
Ms. Thompson read her entries and asked her if she ever thought about being a writer. Brittany just shrugged it off. But Ms. Thompson knew that she would make a wonderful writer.
“Oh no, my writing has always just been a hobby of mine I guess. I used to write for my schools newspaper, but it wasn’t anything fancy at all.”
“Well I think you should really consider it.” Ms. Thompson said handing back the journal.
They continued where they left off with Brittany’s life story. Brittany talked about what her mom was like and the type of person she was like. She also talked about her mom was the greatest person she had ever known. She also told her about her mom’s funeral and about her family; then time was up.
Brittany remembered what it was like for her as a child. She was always at her church doing something, but when her Mom died, she gave up on God. She never wanted anything to do with Jesus or God. She forgot all about Him. Brittany wrote a letter to God that night in her journal. This is what it said:
Dear Jesus,
I’m sorry you haven’t heard from me in such a long time. I just didn’t want to remember my mom anymore and being around people who loved You as much as she did, made me think of her. I’m sorry about getting pregnant. I never wanted it to happen, but I can’t take it back and I need to know You forgive me. I didn’t ream to kill my babies. I really didn’t! I loved those kids with everything I had. I regret dragging Keagan down and making him have to work twice as hard just to keep his scholarship. I regret it all and I’m finally coming hom, Lord.
Sincerely,
Brittany
Brittany felt a peace come over her that she hadn’t had in such a long time. She continued to write her “book” while she was in jail. On July 16th, she had her hearing.