Chapter 2

Brittany tried to eat, but with her first bite she realized that it wasn’t her Mom’s cooking. She didn’t say much to anyone. She spoke enough so that no one would worry too much but inside the Brittany everyone had known died too.  When Brittany’s cousins, Baylee and Ryan, arrived they ran to her and expected love and attention, but received neither.

Brittany refused her friend’s company and compassion. She was a very different person. Everyone wanted the wonderful Brittany they knew not the sad, lonely, depressed, and rejected Brittany they had now. After a week and a half, Brittany’s grandparents made her go to school. She walked around as if the world was passing by her at a rapid speed. The following week there was a party that by definition is a party that you must attend, but Brittany decided to stay home and babysit Ryan and Baylee.

While she sat there watching Ryan and Baylee, Brittany began to wonder why she didn’t tell her mom she loved her. Every time they left each other or hung up the phone they exchanged love. Why didn’t she this time? She told herself it was her fault. Even though she knew deep down in her heart it wasn’t…it was Sarah’s. She thought to herself, I’ll never forgive myself. She was all I had. If only I had told her I that I’d go with her afterschool, maybe she’d still be here! She started crying again.
The following morning was the funeral. Brittany pulled out her black dress, shoes, and sweater; laid them on the bed; and lay down and wept. Not only were Brittany and Anna mother and daughter, but also they were best friends.  Brittany’s grandparents came in and sad down next to her.
“Brittany dear, you’ve got to get ready to go. I know it’s hard, but she’s gone and there’s nothing we can do now. It’s not fair that God should take away my baby girl and not me.”

“Grandma, why did God take my Mom?” Brittany asked through deep sobs, “It’s not fair! I could hate God forever for doing this to me!”

“Brittany,” said her grandpa with a stern voice, “you don’t mean that. God has a reason for doing what He did. God never does something that won’t benefit you later.”

This made Brittany cry even harder. Her grandparents kissed her head and left her to get ready. Brittany got dressed and packed a ton of tissues in her purse. She came out of her room to find her grandparents in deep prayer for her. Here’s what they said: “Dear Gracious Heavenly Father, you know why we’ve come. It’s our grandbaby. She’s blaming herself for something that’s not her fault at all and we can’t convince her any different. She needs your help and forgiveness for what she said. Lord, we all need your strength and wisdom. Please help us bring back our sweet, kind, and loving grandbaby. In your precious name, amen.”

Brittany made it seem like she hadn’t heard any of it and got in the car. They only had a little way to go before they arrived at the church. When they arrived, they saw that the entire parking lot, field, sides of the street, and even that parking lots of businesses across the street and down the road were full. They were amazed at how many people showed up.

They found their reserved spot and parked. They got inside and saw that there were people standing along the walls, sitting along the aisles, and every little spot they could find. They would’ve never thought that their daughter would influence so many people.

The pastor of the church made his way up to the podium to quiet everyone down. “Ladies and Gentlemen if you could please quiet down, we’d like to get started.” Here he paused for a moment. “Thank you. We’re first going to open up with a word of prayer, so if you could all bow your heads. Dearest Father, we come to you today to lift up the Johnson family. Be their Strengthener as well as their Healer. You also know how precious their daughter, Anna, was. We’re very sorry to see her go, but are also rejoicing to know that she’s with You in heaven. We also pray that if there’s any here who need You and know that from Anna’s example, that You would bring them to those who can lead them to You. In Your precious name, Amen. Today’s first speaker is going to be Anna’s brother-in-law, Kyle Johnson.”Brittany’s uncle got up and headed towards that podium, but before he got there, he stopped and kissed Brittany on the head.

Kyle reached the podium, spread out his papers, cleared his throat, and began. “Good afternoon. As Pastor Tim said, I’m Anna’s brother-in-law. I was with Anna at the hardest time in any of our lives. My brother, Landon passed away fifteen and a half years ago. He was the greatest man anyone could ever know. He was in the Army and was tougher than any other soldier I’d met. He was sent out on a special op’s mission and never returned home. Anna had just had Brittany two months before. Landon made me promise before he even joined the Army, back when I was only eighteen years old and just starting my own life, that if anything ever happened to him and he was married, that I had to help take care of his family if he had one. And of course I promised thinking it would never happen.

“Well, unfortunately it did. Anna was so down that she almost went crazy, but because Brittany’s here, I won’t go any further. She did stop going to church and eating. With our family, when one hurts we all hurt. So naturally, we all took care of both Anna and Brittany. We made Anna pick herself up off the ground and continue on her way. If it hadn’t been for God’s grace and mercy, Anna wouldn’t be the wonderful person you all know and love.

“Anna loved all of her friend and family with more love than an entire country could muster. She didn’t deserve to die, but it was her time. I also want you all to know that I don’t blame Sarah or anyone for her death. We’re also not pressing charges against Sarah. It was an accident that was meant to happen.

“Anna told me just two weeks ago that she knew her time was coming and she was ready. She also left a person message for all of you with me. `Dear friends, family and colleagues I do not want you to cry or weep or be angry over my death. I’ve gone on to a better place and am happier than I could ever have been on earth. It’s hard to believe that, but trust your heart and know that I wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true. God and I are on great terms and he’s going to take great care of me. So take care and I’ll see you all again soon. Love forever and always, Anna.'

“She also told me great and wonderful things would happen because of her death. I don’t know how she knew this, but God must’ve told her not to fret or be dismayed. In closing, Anna’s body is not viewable but I was asked to verify that it was her and I can assure you she is happy and content.”
With that final note, Kyle sat down. There was absolute silence in the room. No one moved or even seemed to breathe. Pastor Tim finally got to his feet and said, “Thank you, Kyle. We all needed to hear that. Our next speaker is going to be Anna’s best friend in the whole world, her daughter Brittany. Brittany didn’t know that she would be speaking so bear with her please.” He sat down. Brittany slowly got to her feet and couldn’t move after that. Her grandparents helped her to get the rest of the way.

“Umm. I really don’t know what to say….There’s really nothing I can say except that I love my mom like no one ever did except my dad. I never knew him, but from everything everyone’s told me he loved my mom so much. The only thing I don’t understand is how God can take both my parents, but I guess He has His reasons. The only thing I regret is not telling my mom I loved her.” And with that Brittany ran out of the church. She couldn’t even pick herself up to go to the burial. Her uncle carried her out there because he knew she wouldn’t want to miss it.

She sat in the front row between her Grandpa and Uncle. Waiting to place her flower and go home. When the time came, Anna couldn’t push herself to move until the last person had gone. She got up, placed her flower, and said, “Mom, I’m so sorry. I love you so much and wish you were still here to mentor to me. I wish you could tell me how I’m supposed to deal with your death.” As she turned to walk away, she whispered, “I’ll never forgive you for leaving me!” The she sat down and wept again.

That night was the hardest on Brittany. A first account witness told her everything he had seen. It was absolutely horrifying! She had never had such horrifying dreams in her life. The worst part of it was that while her mom was dying (in her dream of course) Brittany heard her mother saying to her. “Brittany, this is your entire fault! You let me die! If only you told me you loved me this would’ve never happened.” Brittany woke up screaming. Her grandparents burst into her room to see that Brittany was tearing up every single picture that she had of her mom. They had to grab her in order to get her to calm down and stop screaming.

Her screams were so terrifying that the sounded as though she being burned alive. After she stopped screaming, she told her grandparents to let her be and to never come in her room again. The way she said it was just not like herself. It was almost demonic. Her grandparents were terrified. They left her room and wept.