Who Are You?

are you sure you know them?

"Watch it you fool," that was the first thing he has ever said to me, when I accidentally tripped on my shoes while holding a tray of lemonade and spilled it all over him.

"S**t," I managed to let out before I realized that I just ruined my first day at work.

Hearing my boss - well, my cousin, who persuaded my parents that it was a good thing for me to spent my summer working, screw that - cleared his throat, I immediately knew what I needed to do

"My apologize sir, I will bring you a new one," I said while trying to wiped some lemonade out of him with a piece of tissue.

"Don't touch me, Chrissy," he said it in a way that indicated that he was a very respected man and also a cruel one. Never thought that simple words could hurt so badly. I let go of my hands before I uttered out what could be the stupidest thing I ever said,

"How on earth do you know my name?" he just glared at me and pointed at the left top side of my chest. Oh, the stupid yellow name tag with my name on it under the too flashy sign of "Breeze".

"Don't bother with the lemonade,” he said, standing up and leaving me with a sound of doorbell behind him.

"I'm sorry Drew, told you it isn't a good idea,” I said to my cousin. He just shrugged me off. As I was about to cleaned my mess up, I noticed that my fellow workers, Luke, I believed he said his name, had already started.

"I'll do it, sorry to bother you," I said politely to Luke. He acknowledged me with a nod, yet he kept on helping me. Quite a sweet boy I'd say. When I was moping the wooden floor now wet with lemonade, I found a key. It looked like an ordinary key with a skull keychain on it. I wondered whose key it was so I gave it to Andrew thinking that he would know what to do with it.

To my surprise, he just said, "Just keep it until someone come looking for it, and if no one does, you can just throw it away after a week or so." I didn't expect that and just carry on with the rest of the day.

Breeze was a somewhat busy place, it was almost always filled with people, teenagers, mostly. The weird thing was, even when it was a cold or rainy day, you would still find some people craving for cold drinks. My work shift ended at 4pm. I went to the changing room, next to where the storage was, and found a mirror there. I looked at myself and I just couldn't believe so much had changed in me since last summer. I somehow fitted to my yellowish uniform and not to be narcissistic, I looked cute.

A knock on the door brought me back to real life, I quickly changed and stepped out. It was Luke standing in front.

"Do you need a ride? Your house is exactly next to mine,” he politely offered. I was surprised at myself for not noticing earlier. I moved to that house last summer and I barely got out except for school, still, next to mine? Wow.

The 20 minutes ride got me to know Luke a little bit better, he was such a gentleman. I couldn't say that Luke was talkative at all but he somehow managed to fill the empty 20 minutes with interesting conversation and I was glad for that. I hated awkward silences. By the end of my ride, "I could pick you up tomorrow if you like,” he offered with a super sweet smile. And I accepted the offer. He literally lived next to my house and I passed his house like every time I went out. Note to self: put more attention to your surroundings.

As promised, when I was still eating my banana cake the tomorrow morning, Luke's car was already outside. It drizzled a bit and he walked me to the car under his umbrella. Once we arrived at Breeze we, or rather I, was welcomed by the 'lemonade man’.

“Hello, there,” the man surprised me by greeting me first.

“Um, hi? Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes, I’m looking for my key. I think I left it here, when I was in a rush because of.. you know.. the ‘lemon accident’ yesterday.” he said awkwardly. Which made everything more awkward because we left everything in a bad note yesterday.

“Oh, yeah. The one with the skull keychain, isn’t it?” I said as I dug my bag, searching for the key and ignoring his gaze. “Ah, here it is,” I smiled at him. “Anyway, sorry for yesterday, I really didn’t mean to. It was my first day, and..”

“Don’t think about it, it’s okay.” he cut me before I finished. “I’m sorry because I snapped at you yesterday. I guess I made your crappy first day crappier,” he cringed.

While we’re having this conversation, Luke was waiting next to me. He didn’t say anything, but he looked uneasy, like something was bothering him. I could feel it, so I stopped trying to continue the conversation with the lemonade man.

“Is that everything? Cause I’ve got to do something else in the back,” I said as politely as I could.

“Oh, sorry. Yes, thank you for the key. I’ll see you around,” he said to me and walked back to the door.

“Wait!” I called him, stopping him dead on his feet. “I don’t think I get your name?”

He turned back and smiled, “I’m Ethan,” And then he left the store. How come a man I hated yesterday become the friendliest person today? Life is just full of surprises.

My second day was ordinary, compared to yesterday. No more lemon accident, nor any other accident. I learned new stuff easily. I should’ve started working today, maybe nothing would go wrong. But then if i start working today I wouldn’t have met Ethan.

When Luke drove me home after our shift were over, I asked him about Ethan.

“Do you know Ethan? The guy who asked for the key this morning?” I opened the conversation.

“Hmm?” he looked a little startled. “No, I don’t know him,” he cut shortly.

“I see. He’s nice, isn’t he? Never thought someone with yesterday’s behavior could be as polite as he was this morning,”

“Yep, guess so,” Luke said dryly. I took that as a clue and diverted the conversation elsewhere, the lemonade man was forgotten easily.

I was working on the cashier a few days later. Luke had been a routine, a nice one. While, a customer was ordering something, suddenly a smile from outside the window caught my eyes. Ethan waved at me. Before I could reply his greetings the customer in front of me snap her fingers in front of me.

“Hello, miss? Did you even heard what I said?”

“Huh? Oh, sorry. What was it again?” I smiled apologetically while the customer rolled her eyes.

I told my boss I’m gonna take five and went outside to meet Ethan. He laughed a bit when he saw me.

“Am I that handsome that my smile can break your concentration from the customer in front of you?”

I pushed him a little for teasing me. “Damn you,” I got replied by his laugh, louder and freer this time.

"What are you doing here anyway?," I asked while walking along with him.

"Nothing, just passed by and thought to say hi to you with my insanely charming smile," he said while taking something from behind his back. It was a rose, not the one you bought from the store, the one you handpicked from a garden. He handed it to me.

"Doesn't anyone taught you that it's not good to kill plants?" I took the rose and hid my smile. I could hear my own heart beating unsteadily.

"I'll kill a thousand plant for you, you know," he said, and I suddenly thought that this was all too soon. I said my goodbye politely and went back inside, not before giving him my phone number after he asked for it, tho.

I must be mistaken but I saw disappointment or something entirely else in Luke's eyes I couldn’t quite seem to figure out

"He was just passing by," I felt the urge to explain even though he didn't say anything.

"Yeah, with a flower on his hand," Luke said in a low voice, I barely heard him. I decided to just let it go and returned to work

What started to be a nightmare, working at Breeze, now I considered a safe haven. Here, working, I could forget about the loneliness at home which I always felt ever since last summer. Besides that, it was even harder to see my mom and dad's sorrowful looked every time we sat down at the dining table with one empty chair. I missed her, a lot. I knew they do too. Clarissa, an innocent 13 year old girl, a sister, a daughter, an amazing violin player, a good student, and a loyal friend. A girl with so much potential in her that had been taken away from me in a terrible car accident. The trial decided that the man who hit my sister was innocent since he obeyed the traffic light and my sister was crossing the road without an f-ing zebra cross.

"Ready to go?" Luke asked, dragging me back to reality.

"Ready," I answered. And we went home. I was super glad for him. Not that because he had been a very good driver, well he is, but, it's because I always felt easy around him, like I could tell him anything.

"Anyway Chris, I have been wondering, why did you move here? Just curious," That came out of nowhere, I thought. “I’ve just moved here too myself.”

I told him. The whole story. The fact that my mom couldn't drove down the street where my little sister died, while it was like the main road to go anywhere from my house, which basically mean that my mom refused to go out at all. Then, my dad decided that he had enough and decided to move us all here, hoping that it would lessen our burden.

"You know what? I missed her more here. There, I could always feel like she is always beside me, but here, it's like we are trying to forget her." I said and I didn't realize that tears had escaped my eyes. Luke kindly handed me his handkerchief. I was surprised that nowadays there was still a boy who brought handkerchief with him. Then I laughed. I laughed so hard my tummy hurt. When I looked at Luke and his extremely puzzled face I laughed even harder if that was possible. I only stopped when Luke had parked in front of my house, or his house.

Before I stepped out from the far, he hold my hand and looked at me straight in the eyes. He got some real beautiful eyes.

"One thing Chrissy, thank you for sharing, i know it wasn't easy for you, and please know that you can tell me anything," he told me as he reached for a strain of my hair and put it behind my ears gently, "and also, it's okay to give yourself a time to grieve, you deserve one, not just your parents,”. It took everything in me to say thank you and stepped out of the car intact. I was truly glad for his existence in my life.

Later that night, my phone vibrated and I got a text from an unknown number.

Are you asleep yet?

Hope I didn't wake you up

-mr charming smile

I smiled and replied him. Everything was getting better. I had a wonderful friend/neighbour. Everything was okay.

Ethan visited me again at work the following day. He ordered a glass of lemonade, and I served it to his table.

“One lemonade, sir. In the glass this time, not all over your clothes,” I said to him with my biggest grin. He laughed and told me to sit in front of him.

“How’s your day?” he asked me while sipping his lemonade.

“Okay, nothing exciting has happened yet. How’s yours? Didn’t you said you have a meeting today?”

“Yep, and it didn’t go well. So I came here in search of a cold drink to calm myself. But apparently I’m a lucky man, I got my cold drink and a beautiful woman as a company,” he winked at me and smiled smugly.

“You are one flirty man!” I said as I laughed. I could feel my cheeks blushing on his words. Damn him.

“Oh God, seeing your smile helps my foul mood already. Anyway, do you have something to do tomorrow night?”

“Umm, I don’t think so since my shift will only ended at 7. Why?”

“Good, then wear something nice because I’m taking you out tomorrow,” he grinned. He finished his lemonade and left his money on the table. He smiled at me one last time and walked through the door before I can even reply. Oh s**t. I guess I have a date tomorrow.

I told Luke about my meeting with Ethan on our way home. I also told him that he asked me on a date tomorrow. He looked sideway to me and braked the car so suddenly that the tires screeched.

“Hey! Why did you do that?” I shouted at him in panic.

“You have a date with him tomorrow?” he asked me, his voice raising.

“Yes! Couldn’t you ask me nicely without braking the car like that?! I thought you of all people should know better than doing that to me!”

Realization flashed on his face and he looked down. “Sorry, I.. I wasn’t thinking, I just..”

“Yeah you surely wasn’t thinking.” I said sharply.

The drive went on silently after that. When we reached my house, I immediately opened my door and got off. I heard his door closing, and I turned my head.

“What?” I snapped at him.

“I’m sorry. I was surprised that you’re really going out with him, I thought it was just a one-time thing,” he said slowly.

“Whatever. And for future reference, my dating life is not your business, so back off.” I replied and closed my door. I sighed heavily and leaned at the door. I guess I just ruined my friendship or whatever it was between me and Luke.

The next morning, I decided that one or both of us, me and Luke might have just overreacted. I got the sense to apology first. I absolutely didn't forget what causes our fight. Hence, I’ve prepared a simple blue floral sleeveless dress that shows a bit of my back but no too much to look s****y and a matching blue flat shoes- since I was not that kind of girl who tires their leg up in heels for no reason- specially for tonight's occasion. Besides that, I thought it was proper to look nice when I apologized to Luke

As I knocked on the door, a fifty-ish lady opened up and I immediately knew that she must be Luke’s mother because he takes after her.

“Good morning, Ma’am.” before I could say anything else, I noticed that she suddenly looked like she has just seen a ghost and that ghost was me. She turned white and stone-like and I didn’t know what I did wrong, nor what I should do.

“Who is it, Mom?” I heard Luke’s voice and could tell from the sound of his voice and step that he was coming to the door.

“It can’t be. I saw you. It can’t be,” I heard her mutter under her breath Youtube.com/ronaldokurswelland over again I could barely heard it. When Luke saw me, he turned rigid. He dragged her mother inside.

“You shouldn’t have showed up like this, Chrissy. Please, just go and do me a favor, tell Drew I’ll take the day off,” He must have looked at how stunned and hurt I was that he added, “I’ll ask my mom what’s wrong and I’ll explain it to you later, okay?”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” I said as I left in confusion and shame. I didn’t understand. What did she meant? Could it have meant anything or did she falsely recognized me for someone else? What was happening? Who was she and most importantly what did I have to do with her?

I decided to let it go for the moment and took a cab that passed by to Breeze. The traffic was a bit heavy that morning and I wonder there was no way this day could get worse. As expected with my luck, it did. The moment I arrived at Breeze, I realized that I had forgotten altogether my purse which consisted my wallet, my phone, and everything else at home.

Now I got nothing to pay my cab with. That’s not that big of a deal, fortunately.

“Drew, could you lent me money to pay the cab? I’ll pay it back tomorrow. I forgot to bring my purse,” I said apologetically. Most of the time, I considered Drew as my best cousin. He was there when me and my family was a wreck, and he had always been the closest to Clarissa.

“There you go,” he paid for the cab, ”What happened to you? It’s so not you to forget your purse, oh wait. Don’t tell me. And where’s Luke? Why are you taking the cab?” he asked.

“About that, Luke said that he’ll take the day off,” I explained to my cousin.

“That’s weird. He has never taken a day off. Well darling, from the look of your face, as a considerate cousin I’d say that you need a day off too, unfortunately, as your boss, I can’t give you that, I’m already 2 person short this morning, 3 plus Luke.” Drew said as he continued with all the work for the day.

“I’m fine Drew, thanks.” I told him, more to myself though.

The day went by, it was a truly hectic day, and the sun was shining bright which brought more people to Breeze which was good for business but certainly not good for my limbs with 3 waitress short. I missed Luke’s presence here. I felt uneasy about that morning issue but decided to just leave it be for the time being.

By the time 6 pm came, I suddenly remembered that there was no way Ethan could contacted me with my phone left home. I started to wonder if he would come at all. I guess I would just wait and see.

It was 10 minutes past 7 when my work shift was finally over, Drew offered me to grab meals with him but I was still hoping to meet Ethan so I decided to stay in the changing room for a while longer. If Luke had been here we would have done our somewhat routines to grabbed something to eat before heading home. I wondered how I had messed everything up with him if it was truly all my fault.

“Chrissy, some guy is looking for you,” one of my fellow workers shouted out to me.

He came after all. I was a bit shocked myself. As I changed to my well prepared outfit I couldn’t help my grin.

“Now I know what took you so long, you look perfect,” Ethan greeted me warmly after eyeing me up all the way from head to toe with a look that could make any girl in the world blushes. He was wearing a nice white shirt and a blue jeans which made his eyes looked even bluer.

“Shall we?” he offered me his arms and I took it.

“You haven’t tell me where we are going Ethan,” I told Ethan while he was driving.

“Yeah? Well Chrissy, that’s the plan. Enjoy the ride.”

With that, I decided to do just that. After 35 minutes or so ride of getting to know him better, I learnt that he was now living alone after moving in just a month before me and that we actually came from the same town which was where his hometown and parents were. He is 24, 2 years older than Luke. I also learnt that he enjoyed playing tennis and he worked as a free-lance interior designer.

Turned out we arrived in a fancy restaurant. I had a nice meal. A very nice one. Probably one of the best meal I’ve had, but somehow I couldn’t quite shake the feeling that something was wrong. Not him though, he was kind, smart, a bit funny, altogether you could say he’s a prince charming in real life.

“Chrissy?” He called in a way that suggested that I’ve ignored him more than once. “Is everything okay?”

“Sorry, everything is perfect,” I answered with a smile, a genuine one.

The night went by so beautifully. It was so easy to talk almost about everything with Ethan and it seemed like the feelings were mutual. I was positive that this will be just the first of all the nights we would spent hanging out together.

“Anyway, earlier today I tried to text you and you didn’t reply. To be honest, I was a bit scared that you decided to change your mind and chose to ignore me,” He said while spooning a super delicious panna cotta.

“Sorry about that. I left my phone home. Yeah well, I was kind of scared of the same thing too you know,” I told him playfully.

“Well, you should know that I will never ever do that to anyone, especially not you. There were times when I could possibly do that, but those time is over. I give you my word, Chrissy,” I could tell from the way he said it that he truly meant it.

“And I trust you,” I answered him

He drove me home. I wished the night would stay longer but I didn’t want to risk it with mom and dad. The facts that I didn’t bring my phone forced me to go home.

“Thank you for the night.” I said stepping out from the car after he opened the door for me.

We lingered there, seeming unable to part ways.

“It is my pleasure, Chrissy. Goodnight, I’ll see you soon,” and just like that. I didn’t know who made the initial move, the next thing I knew was that his lips were on mine. It was so brief yet so sweet.

“Sorry to interrupt,” I realized that it was Luke’s sound. He was sitting just outside my door. Yep, my door not his. What was he doing there?

“Goodbye,” Ethan said to me, probably noting that Luke got something in his mind.

“Nope, you might want to stay there, Ethan Jones. Might as well clear this to the root once and for all,” Luke said in a way that made it impossible for anyone to leave. My gut told me that something was terribly wrong.

“What is this about?” Ethan asked me, puzzled. I didn’t know, so I shrugged.

“Luke? What’s wrong? What are you doing here? How’s your mom? Did I do something to hurt her or anything? What is all of this about?” I started to feel terrified of what was coming.

“I’ll explain everything to you Chris,” and he did. He wasn’t joking when he said everything.

“First of all, I’m going to tell you what the deal is with my mom. One day, my mother ran out of the house. I don’t now, she could be trying to commit a suicide after she found out that her husband had run away with some girl my age. She was not stable to begin with after losing my little brother just a year earlier, and she just couldn’t handle it. I tried to chase her, but I tripped on the way and was just not fast enough.

“But that was not at all how the story ended. Her attempt actually failed because a little girl pushed her out of the way and it costed the girl her life. The man who rode the car was held by the police but had been proven innocent. What the world didn’t know was what I saw that night. I saw a careless man, holding on to his phone, texting, ignoring the road, and killed not one, but two person.

“My mother was drowning in her guilt. I told her over and over again that she didn’t mean it. That she got nothing to blame on herself. That it was not her fault. But she wouldn’t, she couldn’t listen to me. She was just gone just like the little innocent girl who I recently learned was no other than your sister, Clarissa, who looked exactly like you, which is why she must be shocked when she saw you this morning.” Luke looked like he was not done yet but couldn’t continue.

“I moved here in the name of fresh start, but look at the universe, it just never stop torturing us. Here are the three of us. Such an ironic coincidence huh? Oh and just to be clear, the driver was him,” he pointed to Ethan.

“I don’t know about you, but I think you deserve to know who you are spending your time with,” Luke continued.

“Chrissy, I can explain,” I heard Ethan said hurriedly.

I couldn’t breathe. How could it be? It didn’t make sense how the story added up perfectly. My heart hurt. I moved here to get away from all of this. My world was crumpling and I was in a void ready to eat me alive. My vision blurred and my feet lost the ground.

“How could you? I might made a terrible mistake that day but I would never hurt her like you did you son of a b***h! Look at her now!” I heard Ethan’s voice above the ringing in my head.

“Boys, take it outside! My daughter needs to rest.” Dad’s voice said commandingly.

I noticed something else, water on my cheeks. Tears?

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry Chrissy,” my mom’s.

“It’s not your fault mom, nothing ever is,” I told my mother. I opened my eyes and the light was blinding. I saw Drew on the corner of the bed.

“Hey Chris, finally you’re awake. Your mother freaked out and called me. You’ll have to pay me by extra shifts tomorrow,” I was glad Drew was here.

“Is it true? What Luke said? Is it all true?” I addressed Drew because I knew the truth might hurt mom more than it did me.

“I checked,” Drew nodded.

“I still couldn’t comprehend your luck. Of all men on earth, why this two?” He said teasingly and I just couldn’t find it in me to laugh.

“What now?” I asked to no one.

“Now, you should get some rest,” Dad said as he came back to my bedroom and hold mom’s shoulder tight. And I did.

I dreamt about Clarissa. About the last thing she said to me before she went away. “Don’t let anything or anyone define who you are, you should make all the choices in your life, because it is yours, even when you make a mistake, life goes on.” At the time I thought it was not natural for a 13-year-old to have been so wise. But that’s my Clarissa. She had always been something else.

As for my life, it will certainly went on. I was not sure if I could face them both in the morning but one thing I knew was that, nobody wanted it to happen, people learnt from their mistakes and that’s how we grew.

I might decide to move again or I could chose to stay. I could love one or none or both of the boys, one thing for sure, the choices was all up to me.

THE END