When Rain Talks

It was raining heavily and I have never felt more lonely in my life.

I just came home from work. As always, I walked from my office to the bus stop. My bus usually comes at 5.30 PM, and it was 5.10 PM. I took my time and enjoyed window-shopping. I was 100 meters away from the bus stop when the rain started. I ran like my life depend on it, but by the time I reached the bus stop I was soaking wet.

I sat there, waiting for my bus, and stared at the rain. As John Updike said, “Rain is grace; rain is the sky descending to the earth; without rain, there would be no life.” I couldn't agree more. It is graceful. I continued to admire rain when a man with a red umbrella walked into the bus stop. He got my attention because he made a loud splashing sound with his shoes, and it distracted me from my daydream. 

But when I see his face, it distracted me even more. 

His face was perfection. And when he moved; God, he was so graceful. I dared comparing him to the rain I just stared at. He walked to my direction and sat just a couple chairs away from me. Who is this man and how is it possible that I’ve never seen him before? 

I was going to continue adoring him quietly when my bus came. I cursed silently and stood up. Standing up is supposed to be a simple task, but I’m a clumsy person, and of course I slipped. I was ready to slam the concrete floor, but the moment never happened. I was surprised to find out that the handsome man had saved me. 

“Be careful next time, okay?” he said. I could only nod. 

I shivered a little, and I don't know if it was because of his velvet like voice or because of my wet clothes. He noticed it, and immediately took off his long coat and draped it over me.

“Take it, we don't want anybody to get hypothermia, right?” 

“Thank you, for the coat and from saving me from falling.” I smiled shyly.

“Anytime, take care.”

I got up on my bus, and stared at the strange guy who had saved me.

Its just another hectic day at work. I was new to this office but the works and routines were all the same. By the time I was walking to the bus station, it began to rain, hard. I pulled out my red umbrella. Damn, I made a mental note to buy a new umbrella as soon as possible. I didn't need to be reminded of the reason why I left Ohio and basically all my life behind every time it rained. 

Apparently I didn't pulled out the umbrella fast enough, my blond hair was damp. As I arrived at the bus station, I realized that I was lucky enough to have brought an umbrella with me after all. The bus station was pretty deserted beside for one girl couple chairs away who was soaked wet. And she was staring at me, I was confused, why did she give me such a look like I was a ghost or something, and that was before I realized that she was shivering. But she was a stranger, and I was not in the mood of hitting up a conversation or anything, so I just sat there. Somehow though, I couldn't help my self not to glance at her. A while later, she got up looking like she was going into her bus when suddenly she stumbled and by reflex I caught her. One touch at her made  me regret my decision to ignore her earlier, she must have been so cold. I pulled out my coat and hand it to her not wanting her to get sick. After making small talks, she was gone. I started to wonder about that girl when my bus came up.

I went to the office the next day with a runny nose and with an occupied mind. I couldn't stop thinking about the dashing blond man who had saved me, twice, yesterday. I brought his coat with me, hoping I would see him again at the bus stop so I could return it. 

The day went by like a wind. Without realizing it, I was already on my way to the bus stop. When I arrived, he was already there, unlike yesterday. I was hoping all the spark will disappear. But when I saw his face, it happened all over again. Everything blurred, I saw nothing but him. He stood up, and to my surprise, he greeted me with a smile that didn't touch his eyes. I replied his smile. 

“Um, here’s your coat. I’m so sorry for bothering you yesterday. You must’ve been so cold.” I said while giving his coat to him.

“I have no regret. But that coat still didn't manage to save you from the cold, huh?" he  replied icily. I realized he was trying to push me away. This was weird, considering his attention to me yesterday, but I wasn't going to give up. I braced myself to ask the question I was dreading over the night, I got nothing to lose anyway.

"Do you want to go grab some coffee?" I asked 

“Huh?” 

That was my first reaction. I had only seen this girl twice and she was asking me to grab some coffee with her? Didn't her parents told her to be careful with strangers? Geez. I managed to be polite though.

"Oh, okay, but I need to be home at 8. Is that okay?" I answered, trying to keep my bearing cool. I couldn't just declined a girl right away, can I? Or maybe I should have. 

"No problem at all, shall we?" She said while circling her arms around mine. I was surprised when she did that, but I tried to stay relaxed.

I got to know her over a glass of coffee and some scones. She worked in a trading company, one of the supplier of the company I was working on to be exact. She worked as a sales there. She was 22 years old, 2 years younger than I was at the time. I learned that she was a very lovely lady, caring and she was beautiful in her shoulder length dark brown hair. I couldn't be attracted to her. I couldn't bear the thoughts of caring for someone and endangering the person’s life. Not after what had happened to pretty much everyone I cared about.

By the time we finished our coffees, I was convinced I was the luckiest girl in the world.

How can’t I be? I got to sit with possibly the most gorgeous man in town, I got to know him a little bit. His icy behavior was gone when he listened to my story and when he told me his. I tried to dig deeper, to find out what was his childhood like, where he grew up. But he withdrew so fast, and the wall he had been building between us was up again.

Even so, he was still being polite. He walked me to the bus stop again, we exchanged phone numbers, and we parted there. We made a deal that we’d be at the coffee shop tomorrow at the same time. I was happy, but I still couldn't shake the fear in my head. There was something wrong with this guy, and I had to find out before I got in too deep.

I tossed around on my bed, couldn't sleep, staring at the ceiling with my hands behind my head. My mind was full of her. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression whichever it was. I didn't want to give her false hope. Maybe it was better if she didn't get to know me at all and vice versa. But now after I did, I myself couldn't believe it, I started to fall for the girl, I shouldn't have, but it happened anyway. I had better stop it right away, before anyone got hurt. 

My phone rang and I saw her name, Caroline came up on the screen, she sent me a text message asking wether I had fallen asleep or not, I turned my phone off.

The next day, I thought that it was the best for us all, I'd rather die slowly missing her knowing it wouldn't really last that long, or so I hope, than die altogether having known that something bad happened to her. 

It was a great day the next day. No rain, the sun shone happily above everyone. I was beyond happy. If the good weather last maybe Sebastian and I could have a walk around the park. But a woman can only dream.

By evening, my boss said he was going to treat us a drink or two at some bar near our office to celebrate our achievements that month. I tried to get away, I’d rather spend my time with icy Sebastian than with my drunk coworkers. But he insisted, and I couldn’t say no. I tried to call Sebastian to tell him I couldn’t meet him that day, but his phone was off. And with that, I wasted a perfect day to go out on a date.

The next day, after I finished work, I ran straight to the bus stop. I waited with excitement building inside me. I was going to see him again, nothing else mattered. I waited for five, ten, twenty minutes, and still no sign of him. I began to worry if he was not coming because I bailed on him yesterday. I tried to call him, but he didn’t pick it up. I tried to text him, but he didn’t reply. The bus stop became so silent and deserted, and when the last bus came I gave up, took that bus, and went home.

  What on earth was going on with him? With us? Was he just playing with me? I was so sure that he had feelings for me too. I guess I was wrong, then. 

To love is to destroy as Jace in Mortal Instrument series said. And I had come face to face with the circumstances which proofed that quote was true. I cared too much for her to let her be destroyed. Yes it might seemed that I was being mean by ignoring her like this but really, it was for her own sake. 

I had to say it though, she was really persistent. She didn't give up on me. She called and called and texted me. One night right after dinner, simple frozen food as usual, once again her name came up and this time I just didn't have the heart to slide my s4 right to left anymore. Instead, I picked it up.

"You freaking b*****d! Finally given up on ignoring me, huh? You think you could treat me like that? You couldn't just left a woman hanging like that after a few dates! And how did you get home if not by the bus at that bus station? Damn it, Sebastian. I didn't demand that you like me or anything but what we had was real, it was a real damn good friendship, idiot! Don't you think so? Look me in the eye and tell me you don't think so! At least I deserve that, don't I? The coffee shop in 20! " and she hung up. 

She said that in one breath, before I can even say ‘hello’. Just then, still dazed and bewildered, I realized that a smile had creeped up over my face and I realized she was right, she definitely deserved an explanation.

I entered the coffee shop while stomping my feet and with a sour face. This place was a happy place, Sebastian and I shared our first chats, laughs, and first date in here. But now, remembering those only brought up the raging anger I had been holding inside my heart. 

I ordered what we ordered when we came here; two glasses of coffees and some scones. As the food and drinks arrived, the bell on the shop’s door rang. Sebastian came in, dressing neatly and looking ravishing as always. I wanted to scream at him, to slap him, just to relieve me. But his unexpected calm demeanor tamed me. 

“You don’t have to order for me, you know. I’m fully capable of choosing my own food,” he opened the conversation. 

“That’s it? Weeks of not seeing and not talking to each other, weeks of ignoring me, and your first words are complaint? Gosh, you’re one of a kind.”

He then took a deep breath, and so did I. We might know each other for a short period of time, heck we might still be strangers, but I cared about him, and I believed that he had the same feelings for me. But what confused me was why was he being so difficult? 

“I owe you some explanation, don’t I?” he said. A faint smile started to show on his beautiful face.

“Damn right you are.” I replied.

He spilled his story. And that was when my world changed completely. 

  By the time I opened the coffee shop's door she was already sitting inside, giving me a devious stare. After lighten up the mood a bit, I knew it was time for me to explain everything. Every single thing that made me believe that loving her was a mistake.  I asked her politely not to ask anything and to listen to me until I was completely done. 

"Caroline, to make you understand why I did what I did, I need to take you 8 years behind. And I wanted you to know that you pitying me is the last thing I need or want." After I started, the rest just spilled out from my mouth like the ocean's wave, washing away layers and layers of secret and pain. 

"When I was sixteen, during the holiday, my parents, I, and my sweet 4 years old little sister went on a ride to somewhere I couldn't remember. We enjoyed our quality time very much. Then, entering the highway, I started arguing frantically with my little sister. I didn't remember what we were fighting over but I had a feeling that it was something scrubby. Mom tried to scold me and made me and Mel sat down and stay calm, she tried to rationalize with me that I am older that I should be more mature. I didn't listen to her, instead I hit her, obviously unintentionally, but Dad wouldn't just let it go. He was so angry he tried to slap me, we didn't see the jammed truck in front, and by the time we did, it was to late. Everything was a blur. I think I lost consciousness. I didn't know anything. The next thing I remembered is being in my parents' funeral. I was thinking about committing a suicide, I knew that it was all my fault. If I weren't there, if I just shut up or just sit down, or if I didn't hit my mother, if anything really, they would still be alive. 

“Then I learned that Mel survived the accident. I had killed her parents, I was the only one she had left, I couldn't do it, I can't just left her alone even though all I wanted was to mourn alone, I loved her to much. From there, I dedicated my life to protect her. Being her father, mother and brother all at once while finishing school. It was definitely not easy. Fortunately money was not a problem. Dad and mom left enough for a lifetime. She grew up. We were so close. I loved her so damn much. 

“One day, when she was 10, I already graduated and had a job, I got a day off so I decided to take her on a vacation. I took her to the swimming pool. She had always loved swimming. That day, only God knew what happened, when I was reading some paper from work, she went swimming alone, not something unusual and she was perfectly capable of swimming. Everything looked okay before I heard a man shouted asking who knew the girl who was lying breathless in his arms. One glimpse and I immediately recognized the girl. Mel. My heart sank. We tried everything to save her life, but by the time the ambulance came she was gone. Just like that Caroline, she was dead.” I paused to take a breath. I had never talked about this with anyone. It was so hard to control my guilt and sadness.

“I bet you can see a pattern there. Everyone I cared and loved ended up dead. It is like death follows me everywhere I go. That’s why I don’t want to be close to you. And yes you were right. I couldn't look you in the eye and lie Caroline, I do care about you. Heck, I think love you. Our rendezvouses had left me sleepless, all I can do was thinking about you. But I'd rather not love you, because I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be the next. Can you understand that? And I don't know, but you probably remembered that red umbrella I was using when we first met? It was the last gift from my Mel, we were both so happy when she gave me that as my birthday present, that day, the exact same day she died. After that I just live out day by day not really living for two years before I decided I've had enough and I moved here, trying to start a new life. Then I met you and this happened. Help me Caroline, what do you want me to do?" 

Tears was streaming down her face and mine apparently, I gently touch her cheeks, wiped the tears away. Nice work Sebastian, now you've officially hurt her and made her cry.

He blew my mind.

I’ve got the feeling that this man is troubled when I first saw him, but I’d never thought it scarred him so much that it traumatized him. I was left speechless for a moment after he finished his story and surprisingly wiped the tears from my cheeks. I calmed myself, thinking about the words I wanted to say to him. All my hatred earlier was gone, washed by his heart breaking story.

“I’m sorry,” I started. I was going to continue before he interrupted.

“For what?” he said, confusion was all over his face.

“I was being selfish. I wanted your attention, and when you didn’t give it to me I was pissed off beyond imagination. Sebastian, I just want to tell you that I won’t be your next victim. And everything that has happened to your family, none of those things are your fault. You have to forgive yourself, and from there you can move on from your old life.

“And let me say this: I love you. You are one amazing man, and the story that you just told me doesn’t change that. You said you moved here to start a new life. I want to be a part of that life. I trust you, and I know within my heart that you will do anything to keep me out of harm’s way. What happened to your family won’t happen again. I promise. Let me mend you.”

For the first time that day, he smiled sincerely. He reached my hand, and hold it tightly. His touch warmed me. Sorting things out brought a newfound peace in me. I think Sebastian found that peace too after he told me his deepest secret. 

“Can you say it again?” he said suddenly, breaking our comfortable silence.

“Say what?”

“That you love me.”

I laughed freely, stood up, and brought him to his feet too.

“I love you, more than you know.” I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He put his hands on my waist, and kissed me back. We parted a few seconds later. A wide grin that I’ve never seen before was painted on his beautiful face. 

“And I love you too.”

We paid our bills, and got out from that coffee shop hand in hand. It was raining quite heavily outside, just like the first time we met. Only now, we’re no longer shadowed by Sebastian’s past. Instead, we walk weightlessly, just happy because we had each other.

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[Naomi & Gabriela]

Tell us what you think :D whaddya think about this two kind point of view? Actually Gabriela wrote the guy's pov and Maomi wrote the girl's. So how did it go?