Farewell to winter!
Apricity= the warmth of the sun in winter
I wanted to capture the essence of the time of the year when winter is about to end and spring is just starting off, when we still have the occasional snowfall but the flowers have begun to bloom again...
Suggestions for improvement are welcome!
My Review
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Wow! I learned a new word! I'd never heard that one before! I had to look it up. Well, that alone is cause for praise from me. I so enjoy learning new things and especially new words! But the poem itself was beautiful as well and I like the illustration/photo you chose to go with it too. Ah, I see if I had read the "author's note" I could have saved myself a Google search. (laughing) but it's okay, I don't read the reviews of others either because I like to leave my own impressions in the comment. I enjoyed the read.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Haha i love learning new words too, especially ones that are as poetic as this one. I learned this f.. read moreHaha i love learning new words too, especially ones that are as poetic as this one. I learned this from instagram lol and then decided to write a poem using it so i could remember it forever. Thanking for stopping by. I hope the issue you had with your profile is now fixed because i can finally open it now, although i still can't see any posts.
whether sitting beside the fire or under the shade of a tree. wow, what a great word and pic. your words float like the flakes of at the beginning or end of a snow along with the winter-spring transition. ends make way for new beginnings and beginnings stoke the flames of memories. you've quite elegantly accomplished your mission ... :)
you sure did capture it...not so many would be sorry to see winter leave us...but you gave us pause to change our minds with this intense description.
j.
Wow! I learned a new word! I'd never heard that one before! I had to look it up. Well, that alone is cause for praise from me. I so enjoy learning new things and especially new words! But the poem itself was beautiful as well and I like the illustration/photo you chose to go with it too. Ah, I see if I had read the "author's note" I could have saved myself a Google search. (laughing) but it's okay, I don't read the reviews of others either because I like to leave my own impressions in the comment. I enjoyed the read.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Haha i love learning new words too, especially ones that are as poetic as this one. I learned this f.. read moreHaha i love learning new words too, especially ones that are as poetic as this one. I learned this from instagram lol and then decided to write a poem using it so i could remember it forever. Thanking for stopping by. I hope the issue you had with your profile is now fixed because i can finally open it now, although i still can't see any posts.
That was beautiful and refreshing, I could feel the warmth of the sun on a chilly day. Though we don't have snow down here in Texas as a rule, late winter does get cold and feeling spring arrive is a wonderful feeling.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much for stopping by. I am glad you liked the poem! :))
No suggestions here. I love the spring, but I love the cold weather of winter too. Seems the older I get the more I enjoy snuggling up in my favorite blanket next to my wife. Springtime brings my little backyard water garden to life.
I love this poem. I can find myself surrounded by the sounds, sights, and smells of spring.
Thanks for sharing this brilliant piece of work.
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
I personally love fall the most. I am glad you liked the poem. Thank you for the review!
The irony of reading this poem while a blizzard whooshed about my window 🤣 But hooooly mole! The musicality in this is divine. And a number of juicy and savoury lines that just elicit salivation right down to the sound of the very title: "Apricity" (which apparently is so archaic that modern technology doesn't recognize it as a word lol. I don't have any comments but praise, although if I were to give any suggestions for improvement, I'm debating whether this is even a problem, which is why I have pretty much nothing but praise for this piece - but the line break after "newfound" feels off musically. Poetically the warmth on the new line is the breath of surprise and satisfaction that Spring and Summer are just on the horizon. Putting it with "newfound" to end that line sort of complements the use of the word. Furthermore, the musicality sort of lands on warmth and weeps both in a rather spondaic fashion, but it feels heavier on "weeps" to the point that if it started the line, that fall into the word bears more gravity than it being the second word in the line. That's just my take. There are pros and cons for both cases. (Same goes for adding a "the" to will-o-the-wisp, which is how I know the word to be, and my not seeing the "the" is a bit jarring, however doesn't hurt the poem particularly as a whole). Well freaking done!!
Posted 1 Year Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
1 Year Ago
Thank you so much for the lovely review. I used newfound at the end for two reasons. 1) To preserve .. read moreThank you so much for the lovely review. I used newfound at the end for two reasons. 1) To preserve the "warmth weeps" alliteration and 2) To group the similar sounds of cloud-flowers-hours-marshmallows-newfound-showers together at the end.
Will o' wisp is just as valid grammatically as will o' the wisp. I prefer the former because it is shorter and doesn't disrupt the flow. Also it puts stress on "wisp". I used will o' wisp to describe the clouds to describe their ever moving/impossible to catch nature and also as a pun to suggest them being wispy looking.
Thanks again for the detailed review! I do like the suggestion of putting "warmth" at the end of the line.
1 Year Ago
Oh of course, I was praising it all the way. My points for "improvements" were merely food for thoug.. read moreOh of course, I was praising it all the way. My points for "improvements" were merely food for thought as I was completely aware as to what you were trying to do and I was giving analyses to whether it could work or not. The will o wisp vs with "the" both work, my comment was stating that it's only jarring to me because I learned it with "the" and though the musicality would still land on the "wisp" with "the" the omission of the word doesn't mar the poem as whole. And the placement of "warmth" could go either way but you're saying two different things with each option but the musicality remains the same, so that's why I was suggesting to bring the word up a line and putting "weeps" at the start (you technically still get the alliteration from the way musicality flows). But you do you. It's just something to think about. You wrote a gem overall in sound and flow and it was thoroughly enjoyable.
I love when reviewers actually give suggestions instead of just praising the poem. I am honestly deb.. read moreI love when reviewers actually give suggestions instead of just praising the poem. I am honestly debating about keeping "warmth" as the last word. I think your suggestions were great and I am extremely thankful that you took out the time to really analyze the poem!! :))
1 Year Ago
I was just trying to explain my reasoning. I really liked your suggestions and I truly appreciate th.. read moreI was just trying to explain my reasoning. I really liked your suggestions and I truly appreciate them! :))
1 Year Ago
Honestly, I do too (provided there are suggestions to give). It's more the analysis that I look for .. read moreHonestly, I do too (provided there are suggestions to give). It's more the analysis that I look for too: did they understand the poem enough to talk about it with me and whatnot. So yeah, I make it a habit to do that in hopes to receive the same. And yeah, debate as you'd like, as I mentioned in the original review, there are pros and cons with both directions, just go with the one you feel is right for the poem; the one that says the right thing about the poem and conveys the overall message the most.
If you're a dreamer, come in
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer,
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
.. more..