Christmas Noose

~A dark take on the holiday season~

I contemplate the wake
of another sarcastic Christmas eve,
spent staring at green strings of
stinging lights, and talkative cutlery.
Alabaster fingers curling
around spoons, and fine-tuned talk.
Candles licking at the wall's old paint,
with flame kisses. A knot
in my heart, as we tug
at each other's strings, willing
inwardly for the other to give up.
A final pull, and we might just
fall apart
with the sound of
dropped china bowls, the ones
that tinkle at intervals, caressed
by hands that dare not skim
a touch.
Each hour, I feel
the Christmas noose tighten
around my neck, coiling
and uncoiling with
every word said, slowly strangling out
the air from my lungs.
It's odd to be back here now,
in the rooms
where my teen ghost
still wanders,
lost in otherwordly expectations from life.
Had I known
how you'd end up twenty years hence,
shrunken under the immense weight
of your cotton ball head, and
decrepit bones,
I would have broken the curfew a lot more,
done heroin, and watched porn
with open doors.
But, at long last, I'd hoped
to sever my ties from the patchwork past;
but when I see you now, hunched and hollowed--
a husk of your older self,
sour fear rushes to my throat.

All this time, 

I thought I was swimming my way
through life
but like you, I'm barely afloat.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I came back to your page and the more I read your work, the more I am impressed with your wonderful talent as a poet. You are so gifted with words and expression! It's always a pleasure to read your work, the first time or again.

[Esteban Morfín]

Nice one. Great word play.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Our family Christmas season so far has seen two life threatening injuries from accidents and the death of a close family friend from brain cancer. We will still celebrate the season. But our lives are centered in the advent of Christ and not the commerciality of a manmade holiday. Whether we work or play; whether we labor or relax, whether we live or die, we strive to do all to the glory and praise of our Lord. We recognize suffering as a part of life but we hope to relieve the suffering of the poor and needy, the hungry and lost as much as we can. After all, if we can't help one another along life's way, what meaning can we truly attribute to our lives? The writing here is exceptional and I enjoyed the read. Merry Christmas!

[LJW]

So I'm not the only one who feels the Christmas get together anxiety?
You speak of the ghost of your younger self in your childhood home and how an aging family member (mom?) is also almost a ghost of sorts. So relatable.
This part is my favorite:
Had I known
how you'd end up twenty years hence,
shrunken under the immense weight
of your cotton ball head, and
decrepit bones,
I would have broken the curfew a lot more,
done heroin, and watched porn
with open doors.

Nice work here.

[Sami Khalil]

I feel some realizations by the narrator and some gothic elements this holiday. I hope no curses or omens felt. Take care.

[Sami Khalil]

"All this time,

I thought I was swimming my way
through life
but like you, I'm barely afloat."

[jacob erin-cilberto]

we try to grow up and away from the past, but often we just grow towards it, with much regret that we didn't do things differently....
I am still swimming...
My teen ghost really appreciates this poem.
j.

[rew]

Love the last line, it will resonate with most folks.
As will the rest of your Christmas Noose this " A dark take on the holliday season."

Christmas needs young naive children in the home otherwise it's one long sad, sad sunday.
Of course that's only my personal view and speaking entirely for myself as Xmas gets nearer my dread of it increases. The " Christmas Noose" tightens...lol

Some people, of all ages, love Xmas. I can't help wondering if they have been brain washed but as my other half says, round about Xmas, " you are just a miserable, old curmudgeonly Scrooge. Perhaps she's right?

I've just noticed that your " Christmas Noose" was written in 2020.
Sorry Moonie, I've got some really, really bad news for you: there's another Xmas, on its way.
Don't shoot the messenger!

Regards from Rew.

[Fran Marie]

strange how life winds out and
then rewinds as we count our
regrets to live life to the fullest
youth/ teen years is the time to
be a rebel and do it all..


all those C'mas ghosts
make quite a noose choking
coiling and uncoiling; a most
descriptive piece here
so we'll penned

[NotUsinganymore]

Very grim but humourous sounding poem about hcristmas. I enjoyed it.