Turning blue

My heart's aglow,
like a dusty lava lamp,
on the midnight stroll, setting camp,
like nomads into an igloo
of powder-blue ice.
Ice-lolly midnight,
Mistress Moonie
sits placidly atop,
staring down with crystalized light.

Waiting will suffocate us.
Setting sight,
with glazed marble eyes, and
half-frazzled senses. A mouthful of
worthless words,
moments, and tenses-- the sweet city cacophony
squalls
in a ruby blur, like
perfume from a Lady Skunk's fur.

Old year's rainy day
plays like some kind of dead-beat drums,
amongst a gust of chilled Jan,
coalescing into a single driftwood winter.

The weight of the wait shall wear me down
I shall simply drop dead,
sucked into this red Infernal broth
of the city's pandemonium.

Truly!
At the sidewalk,
I'd wish to follow obscure roads,
hoping that would save me some time
from the asphyxia that follows.

Author's Note

"Your dreams and goals are bigger than small minded people or the fears that they harbor. Don’t let their ocean of fear trap you in the undertow."
--Jaha Knight
I've recently began experimenting more with free-verse, and am pretty happy with this one. The poem could seem a bit morbid to some, as "Turning blue" is just a description of the cyanosis that sets in with asphyxiation, and most of the poem reads like the final death rattle of a person. The overall metaphor is the smothering of ideas and talents. But you're welcome to interpret it in any way possible.
Ps If you have any suggestions for improvement, feel free to share! :)

Reviews

[Onlyme]

Dark, bleak and bleary visions in this poem. Very graphic and haunting. Made me think of homeless folk or even immigrant coming from afar to a new land. With nothing but hope. And the hope is getting taken from them. As the everyday person walks past them with their eyes shut.

[Moonie]

I think I like your reflection about the homeless people, even more than my own interpretation. You're absolutely right...it's shocking how we continue to look past their existence. Thank you for the review!!

[Laurierose]

I LOVE free verse poetry. It's a way to portray a message in one's unique way. I'm not huge on rules in poetry and more in tuned with flow. This was an interesting peek into a moment, perhaps a final moment.

"The weight of the wait shall wear me down."

This line resonated with me. Often when one is awaiting news, typically dreadful, then the wait itself heavy enough to sink. This gave me chills. Great read.

[Robert Trakofler]

I share this feeling or perhaps I'm just projecting it? But the theme of forced societal conformity choking the nature of our existences true needs is one I feel very strongly. I have read this one very many times for you write in such a way that i feel i have to, to absorb all of the subtleties you place between your lines. This is not, I hope you understand... a negative remark. I in fact enjoy reading your writing style. The free verse form seems to give you an interesting weave in your expression. I also find that reading your poem aloud lends a very nice quality to the write and it flows very naturally for me when spoken. Great symbolism and imagery and R&R excellent work

[Wesley Dingler]

So I had to read this poem quickly before I dart off. The title sucked me in with my favorite color. As for the first stanza, the rhyme is great and the description solid.
I like how it falls from meter to free-verse. free-verse is not something I've ever felt I do very well, but you've done an excellent job here keeping the flow even after the rhyme drops off.
I will read much more of you poetry when I return.
So far i like your style of writing, and your vivid choice of imagery.

Thank you for sharing.


okay, now I'm off for a bit.


-wes

[jacob erin-cilberto]

life can choke us...turn us blue...the dusty lava lamp---the faint glow of an almost dead heart..so there is a bit of light, just as with an igloo...there is the warmth of being inside of it. So even the saddest images can revert to the opposite..
a really good write...actually my only suggestion would be to leave out the interpretation in the author's note because it can steer the reader, or at least play on his or her mind during the reading.
and we do hope when the end comes...our words would not have been worthless...they will mean after we are gone..yours certainly will.
j.

[Lydia Shutter]

Hmmm....life in the city is not for everyone. Hard to follow your dreams when the sidewalks are so crowded. Still, the wise one will hold on to dreams and be as creative as he/she wants. I liked the wordplay of "the weight of the wait". Very well written. Lydi**

[An owl on the moon]

You have this magnificent talent for creating expansive worlds in poetry. The movement and passionate power of this one just stuns me. There is the painful desire to live, to grow, to move, but everything seems to be weighing down the atmosphere... I deeply appreciate your note as well, and am glad you are experimenting with free verse. It sometimes lifts that captivating mist that structured rhythm and rhyme can bring.

[Einstein Noodle]

i definitely come away with the struggle of your protagonist ... a lot of creative tension built with contrasts like "My heart's aglow,
like a dusty lava lamp," and " ...A mouthful of
worthless words," ...i read a glimmer of hope in your closing V L3 .... but i am left with doubting that bit of hope in the last 2 lines ... another line i really enjoy is "Ice-lolly midnight, Mistress Moonie" fantastic says i ..especially with our years second super moon just completed ... the ice blue of an igloo is serene for me (i have been in one ;) but again the contrasting V2 makes me gasp for breath ... i appreciate your author's note but do not think it necessary ...this is many sided and layered so we will see a lot of different things in it anyway ... great job venturing into free verse me luv! i like it!
E.

[Moonie]

I know you must have seen how an igloo is built. They essentially build it around themselves, trapping themselves in. And although, it has a serene and warm vibe, I wanted to contrast that with the feeling of being trapped in literally a house made of cold, hard ice. I see you noticed all the other lines where I start off with a hopeful note, only to end with a dismal one.
Thank you so much for the review. I really feel that I excel more at free verse than rhyme. Also, I always love to read your distinctive style of free verse!

[Moonie]

Much love! ♡♡

[Einstein Noodle]

back at ya Moon's Fairest :))))))))))

[john l smith]

I am not much at interpretation but what I come away with is the dragging on of our dismal dark winter days which have that asphyxiated feel about them

[Moonie]

Really like your interpretation! Thank you for reading!