I can picture you
in a mile long field,
under the Sun- its warmth crab-dancing
on your skin, leaving trails of
freckled kisses
on your nose and cheeks.
Wind in your hair,
and joy in your amber eyes,
I see your fingertips combing
through the daisies,
the grass tickling your bare toes.
And the Sun is just so bright,
It lights up your hair like a halo.
Through the fields,
in your favourite dress
pinwheel in hand,
running so fast, your giggles
chase after you.
Being we work by interpretation, this is either about a little girl (your daughter) or about you when you were young. Either way, this is great. I like the repeating w sounds too. It makes the poem whispy to read, encapsulating the warm wind of a summer's day in a big field.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
I build up on a purgatory like happy place, or just a vision of a saintly child.
Thank you f.. read moreI build up on a purgatory like happy place, or just a vision of a saintly child.
Thank you for reviewing. I appreciate it!
Being we work by interpretation, this is either about a little girl (your daughter) or about you when you were young. Either way, this is great. I like the repeating w sounds too. It makes the poem whispy to read, encapsulating the warm wind of a summer's day in a big field.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
I build up on a purgatory like happy place, or just a vision of a saintly child.
Thank you f.. read moreI build up on a purgatory like happy place, or just a vision of a saintly child.
Thank you for reviewing. I appreciate it!
I hope you were smiling wriiting this.Visually expressive imagery.Beautifully written in detail.
A pleasure...
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much! I was more sad than smiling when i wrote this though. When I wrote this poem, I h.. read moreThank you so much! I was more sad than smiling when i wrote this though. When I wrote this poem, I had a different vision than what most poets perceived on here. It was supposed to be a tribute to my friend (and my patient) who recently suffered from a miscarriage.
It's amazing how a write can be perceived so differently by different people. Goes to show that most of the poem is written by the reader than by the poet! Thanks again! ❤
Your word choices are so unique. "warmth crab-dancing" and "fingertips combing through the daisies" I've never come across these descriptions before. Very well-written!
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you! "Crab-dancing" sounded quite visual to me, and I wanted to use that phrase in a poem, eve.. read moreThank you! "Crab-dancing" sounded quite visual to me, and I wanted to use that phrase in a poem, ever since I thought of it. Glad you took time to notice the little nuances! ❤
If you're a dreamer, come in
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer,
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
.. more..