Peppermint lips,
Cocoa eyes that could make
even snowflakes melt.
It was 10° outside,
and my palms sweating
from your heat.
Static in the air.
Quarks oscillating.
The crackle of your blue current
lit me up like a christmas tree.
You smiled and asked me about
science
over smoothies...!
I don't know too much, my love.
But if you kiss me,
I can teach you how electricity flows.
Really interesting poem. Has a mix of imagery. On the one side, a tactile seduction one can almost taste. "Cocoa eyes" "peppermint lips" ( IF combined w Christmas tree, feels very Christmas-y) but on the other end a bit more abstract w science and the electricity that connects the visceral with the mental. I esp loved quarks oscillating. Cool phrase! And the last line is both playful and witty.
Cool stuff . thoroughly enjoyed it
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much! That was the general idea...i wanted an overall wintery whimsical feel...glad tha.. read moreThank you so much! That was the general idea...i wanted an overall wintery whimsical feel...glad that got through♡ thanks again!
This reminds me of that sort of romance of young sweethearts. The flow of this piece was like electricity. A slow hum of affection between two souls. There was a connection between the two; this was apparent. This was a sweet poem filled with love in each line. Great read.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you once again! See lol i was away for so long, missed up on so many great reviews. Sorry agai.. read moreThank you once again! See lol i was away for so long, missed up on so many great reviews. Sorry again!
Much love! ♡
oh my goodness...absolutely love this...the quarks over smoothies ... titillating read Fair One! ...sizzling sexuality but classy ... jealous of your work with the metaphor and how it flows throughout .. nice nice nice stuff says i!
E.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thanks so much, E!!!
So good to hear from you after such a long gap!
6 Years Ago
i have been taking a break and am just now starting to visit this wonderful Cafe ..glad i did not mi.. read morei have been taking a break and am just now starting to visit this wonderful Cafe ..glad i did not miss "Electric love" ...i have a special place in my heart for poetry mixed with science ... i think they go hand in hand ;)
Really interesting poem. Has a mix of imagery. On the one side, a tactile seduction one can almost taste. "Cocoa eyes" "peppermint lips" ( IF combined w Christmas tree, feels very Christmas-y) but on the other end a bit more abstract w science and the electricity that connects the visceral with the mental. I esp loved quarks oscillating. Cool phrase! And the last line is both playful and witty.
Cool stuff . thoroughly enjoyed it
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you so much! That was the general idea...i wanted an overall wintery whimsical feel...glad tha.. read moreThank you so much! That was the general idea...i wanted an overall wintery whimsical feel...glad that got through♡ thanks again!
I loved this:) But I always have to add a bit of humor it all:) Was it Santa lol:) Naw seriously I loved the write. It sounded like a romantic snowed in moment with that very love to be.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Haha no wasn't santa...not the usual one anyway.. ;)
It's an insatiable feeling that runs throughout your body and you can feel the cold void of it when it's gone.those first steps into love is a wonderful thing
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Thank you for reviewing, and for the beautiful words!
If you're a dreamer, come in
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer,
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
.. more..