Dandelions

(Translations in the author's note)

   You gave me dandelions,

   and I

   vased them in my yellow typewriter.

   They kept company to the 

   drizzling sunshine,

   and the talkative alphabets.

   In the dense summer air, 

   I bathed my soul, 

   and dreamt of timemachine wheels,

   that revolved with blurred spokes.

          

                         They call you the lovelorn boy,

                                poisoned by Summer's sweet foolery.

                                     They call me the dandelion girl,

                                          fooled by Summer's sweet poison...

   You said love is a 

   full blown rainshower

   that conjures the wand'ring stars,

   and makes them stand.

   You said it was in the

   Summer's hot breath

   that melts away the standing frosts

   of long Winter...

   You spoke of lies and truths,

   of untruths and half-truths.

   And I was certain,

   I was most certain of rebirths

   and future encounters.

          Like the final act of magic,

              we were bound to unite again.

   ~Twin fortune gazers~

   We looked up 

   at the teacup of stars,

       and saw shapes forming. 

                         All the while, the Wind had danced amongst the dandelions

                                  like a belladonna, enthralled.

   I always could make out Orion,

   but you found even

   Vega, Deneb, and Altair.

        Warmed by the fire

          of the atmosphere,

            we sat up all night,

              to watch them fade.

 

                        All the while, the Rain had stirred the grass blades

                                 to its haunting symphony.

   If I could have trusted the

   truth of sleep,

   and of dreams, and stars-

   typing a printwork of destiny

   with sluggish typewriter notes,

   I could have read our cards.

   You called me  ياقمر

   ~~my moon~~

   Your voice raining, 

   like sunflakes, and snowshine, melting

   like the skin of peach kept in

   rosewater for too long, dissolving

   into sweet nothingness...

   Thrice adream,

   through fantasy lands,

   we sailed

   on our magic carpet

   across the bridge of the Milky Way.

   Our hearts dancing in the wind,

   like the yellow butterflies

      ~como las mariposas amarillas~

   that fly through moon-kissed fields...                                     

                        You gave me dandelions,

                    and I

           vased them in my heart...

   ~Pour tous les saisons à s'épanouir~

Author's Note

This is one of my favourite poems, the one I treasure the most...it has taken me nearly two years to shape it and edit it to bring out this final version

Notes:
1. Vased- I created this verb form of the noun "vase", so the meaning is literal, not figurative.

2. The 3 stars-Vega, Deneb, and Altair form the Summer Triangle. The 3 are the brightest stars in the three constellations of Aquila, Cygnus, and Lyra, respectively.
The general tale is a love story between Zhinü (織女; the weaver girl, symbolizing the star Vega) and Niulang (牛郎; the cowherd, symbolizing the star Altair). Their love was not allowed, thus they were banished to opposite sides of the Silver River (symbolizing the Milky Way Galaxy). Once a year, on the 7th day of the 7th lunar month, a flock of magpies would form a bridge over the star, Deneb, to reunite the lovers for one day.

3. The translation for ياقمر is "oh moon" or "oh precious" in arabic(in the egyptian dialect).
It is written as "ya amar", pronounced as "ya kamar"

4. I made up the words "sunflakes" and "snowshine" from "sunshine" and "snowflakes"...I think they sit nicely on the tongue and give the poem a playful feel...
From "sunflakes", I get the imagery of falling gilded flakes of sunlight in my mind...and from "snowshine", I wanted to highlight the glint of the snow as it falls...

5. Como las mariposas amarillas -translates to "like the yellow butterflies"

6. Pour tous les saisons à s'épanouir- translates to "for all seasons to bloom"

I have always wanted to experiment with multiple languages in a single poem...if you have any suggestions, I would be honoured to receive them...I think this poem can go through another edit, and so all suggestions are welcome!

Reviews

[Jennie Baron]

One of the tests of a poem for me is how it sounds when read aloud. This one is so beautiful it lends itself to a public reading if you haven't done that. I love the dreamy, wistful feeling, and the diction is wonderfully expressive. Well done and a privilege to read.

[Stella Armour]

Just too beautiful ...♥

A poem to treasure

[Moonie]

Thank you!

[Kelly Scheppers]

This is extraordinary in so many ways, one of which being the articulate nature and feeling it exudes. Your verses leap from the page, like coveted words upon the tongue. What a thrill, what pleasure it was to read!

[Moonie]

Thank you so much, Kelly! I appreciate your words!

[Robert Trakofler]

I didn't need to read your notes at all... the meanings of your wordsmithing unfolded like the petals of a flower in the morning sunrise and rang authentic as your weaving warmed this bunnies heart. The image of your writing the dandelions is so lovely. (A close friend of mine nicknamed me yellow) I am quite certain i don't need to explain that meaning to you:) Your care and meticulous nature come thru in this write and i just vased it in my heart too. Glad I happened upon this poem enjoyed it thoroughly will be shelving this one dear moon (by the way that's why i looked at your page your name...)

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for visiting, I really appreciate your in depth review!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

to make something out of nothing, or something out of what is usually thought of as damaged goods, literally weeds in a beautiful yard. This romantic write brings together two with a need for love and want for each other that is not bound by time. It will bloom again and again.
I really like the made-up words...i tend to do that also...poetic license is a good thing.
I wish i could write this way, sometimes, where something takes two years to complete...I write them and move on...sometimes two weeks might be the limit...but they pour out...
you take such care...and it shows in the result...a wonderful poem...worth the wait for its "coming out" party.
j.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for such kind words. You know your review made me re-look at this poem, and i think it needs much more editing :'))
And only a year ago I thought I'd finally obtained the finished product.

[Jacob Clifford]

So beautifully crafted! I love the romantic sensory details, the breath-taking word usage, the imagery, the effortless transitions into other languages, the words you created - it's all great. This poem takes us along on a dream-like adventure, never stepping out of place or losing interest. One stanza in particular, the one with the two fortune gazers gazing up put a striking imagine into my head that helped me envision the rest of the piece. Though I'm not typically a fan of divination and the like (I think Trelawney ruined me for life), those few lines really stirred me. You really have a talent; make sure to keep it shining.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I think you just melted me...I might just have a girl crush! This is extraordinary!

[Onlyme]

Wistful, dreamy, magical poem. That is moving and transports you into another world.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much!

[00000000000000000000000..]

I see magic in this write 2 lovers full of thought and will. Two who go beyond the space and time together. I loved it:)

[Moonie]

Thank you!

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Your very welcome

[Periac]

to add i cannot even choose a star to pull out and adore for this is infinite

[Periac]

this is brilliant
every single line carefully potted only later sprouting even more beautiful images

you said this took 2 years and your patience is well placed
absolutely amazing