Fizzle of coke

Fizzle of coke

A Poem by Moonie
"

~Rebellion sounds like soda fizz~

"
There is a fizzle of coke in his eyes,
gold-brown, and minute in size.
Here, sweet watercolor reticence hides,
and rainbow shampoo bubbles run wild.
I see sadness, evaporating in a moth ball puff,
wisdom of poets, and Wilde's witty stuff.
Here, fondant sleep-stirring stars shine,
and broken wishes stand, aligned.
Here, rest his sherbet lemon lies.
Here are crammed his handsome smiles--
Ironed, folded-up, and stacked away,
on the wooden bookshelves of yesterday...
Like tea leaves, his fears have settled in the depths
of some silly childhood moment, still kept.
I hear the rumble of lava lamp retorts stuck,
echos of trains and toy trucks,
the tinkle of stories told over tea
jelly bean jokes and memories of me...

© 2017 Moonie


Author's Note

Moonie
This one is quite an old poem, that I finished recently. It was unpublished and hidden here for a long time, but now it seems whole and worthy of being published on here...

My Review

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Featured Review

MFD,

jump in to the nature , it will provide more and more

Appreciate the audacity of the poet/poetess inside the poem and I do state that only other such one can only really feel it,
exclusive it seems................

thanks for instigating,( from a a creature of same feathers)


carry on....
mp

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Great poem! I love the imagery that you use. I seemed to be able to feel the person and the longing.

Posted 6 Years Ago


this is really great. very strong wording and imagery. reads very well. every line a gem. love the title and the drawn analogy. well worth the wait. nice job.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moonie

6 Years Ago

Ah thank you so much, dear friend!
Ah this is simply wonderful, captivated till the last word, dear author :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Moonie

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Ana! I am happy you liked it!
A parent remembering their son’s childhood perhaps...wistful, poignant, beautiful language and amazing imagery-“his handsome smiles—ironed, folded-up, and stacked away”- so perfect. Lovely form, flow, cadence and rhyme. Last line so very tender and touching. Loved this!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! This was a real treat for the active imagination! This is one of the better imagery-strong pieces that I've read in a legitimately long time, from the onset right through to the end. There wasn't a line in here that felt forced or unnecessary. Beautiful piece.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

'Here are crammed his handsome smiles--
Ironed, folded-up, and stacked away,
on the wooden bookshelves of yesterday...'

Read twice: see this as a mother looking through her memories.. maybe photographs, remembering when.. time passing but, always the excess of seeing more of everything.

Your writing is metaphorical joy, humour and intelligence - and just maybe, tears...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I'm so glad you published it. The imagery is lovely and your word selection spot on! Beautiful.

Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

"wooden bookshelves of yesterday..."

Could see all the stuff, from left to right, sitting on the shelf. Nicely done.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A child remembering a parent or vice versa...It makes me wonder how my own daughters will remember me...lights of my life.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

MFD,

jump in to the nature , it will provide more and more

Appreciate the audacity of the poet/poetess inside the poem and I do state that only other such one can only really feel it,
exclusive it seems................

thanks for instigating,( from a a creature of same feathers)


carry on....
mp

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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1018 Views
16 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 8, 2017
Last Updated on October 26, 2017
Tags: Coke, caffeine, him, love, poem, Oscar Wilde, dreams, beauty

Author

Moonie
Moonie

About
If you're a dreamer, come in If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer, If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire For we have some flax-golden tales to spin .. more..

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