Wayward Gypsy

Her Moon was a gold painted 

tassle strung...

And her Sun was a bold

mesh of reds...

Soft, dark hands with

tinted nails,

moved in a

strange snake dance,

above her head,

as she swirled

around the graves

to the music of her tinkling silver anklets....

Her skies were always pastel,

wound with peach silk threads...

She danced as the musk-laden wind blew,

as the dust rose, and enveloped the grass beds...

Her songs were sad, sad verses

and her music

was the chorus of the dead 

branches over sand....

Her breaths--measured and counted

in cinnamon sticks

and coconut milk....

Her eyes were green, green lamps

           ......Luminous

And her hair--

the color of sun-baked bricks.

Author's Note

Halloween's long gone...but I wanted to write a piece with a subtle scary undertone...
This one's still in the editing process...suggestions are welcome! :))

Reviews

[Alistair (Ali)]

A fine piece indeed!- Never be afraid to revisit a piece time and again. Poetry is all about writing- then re-writing. Sometimes i write copious lines but use only two or three from the pages I have written.
I wrote a piece circa 10 years ago- and finished it last year! Thats the beauty of poetry- it can constantly evolve as we enjoy new experiences.
Well done!

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for visiting, and I apologize for replying so late

[Alistair (Ali)]

My pleasure, and no need for apologies,- we are all busy people! Looking forward to reading some more of your work.
Best wishes
Ali

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Moons fairest... the Gypsy touches of auburn burnt hair and green eyes with jangles of gold bracelets... is a reality in my ancestral legacy. Beautiful spiritual poetry. truly, Pat

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for sharing that bit of information! I honestly find red hair so beautiful! ❤

[Fabian G. Franklin]

A red-haired gypsy...I think I'm raising one of those. (smile) But she's too young to wander far yet. Her sister wandered all the way around the world to Africa, taught school there and came back to run off to Texas with the man of her dreams...so now I have a native Texan born granddaughter and another little Texan grandchild on the way. I don't know about all this dancing among graves though. That part sounds more in the line of the Haitian Voodoo priestesses down New Orleans way..they like snakes too. I visited Marie Leveaux's grave there back in 2001...I wonder if the old voodoo queen is still there after Hurricane Katrina. An interesting read, regardless.

[Moonie]

Hey I'm just going through the old reviews that i missed. So thankful for yours, and i feel red heads are the prettiest by the way!♡

[Moonie]

And I'm so sorry for replying so late

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Beautifully evocative poem. Wild, witchy, almost Druid-esque imagery describing the sensuous gypsy woman’s sinuous dance amid her dead (captive) audience. Thirds verse transforms her into something more (or less) than human with green eyes glowing in the dark. Loved this!

[Moonie]

Thank you for the kind words, dear poet!

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

You are most welcome!

[KeithEBaucum]

I like how your poem is very detailed. This one is like a painting. I loved every word.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much, Keith...i apologise for replying so late...

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Saw images of a seductive enchantress (femme fatale) practising her spells amongst the undead – whooooooooow – very imaginatively penned!

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for the review...you are quite right to compare her to a seductress.

[barleygirl]

I agree with John that this doesn't seem scary or even haunting, but I do like the light touches of macabre imagery used. This could even be pumped up a little more, for example in line 4, instead of "reds" you could use "blood" or something with a tie-in to your last line with brick-red hair. This whole "red" theme could be pumped up & I felt a little distracted by the pastels in the second-to-last stanza . . . I myself would stick to the color palette of skullduggery with intensely-stated hues of charcoal & blood. Sorry I just was riffing for a minute there. I actually like your poem in its entirety & even the pastels are an unexpected sideroad. I very much enjoy a lovely dancing light poem that has weird shimmers of macabre here & there. Lovely contrasts.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much for this review... i must say i quite agree with you, that replacement does sound better. Thank you for the suggestion!! 💖

[Relic]

This may not be scary but it does have a bit of mystique to it. The gypsy dances as though in a trance, as though the ritual recognizes the dead and calls their names.

Nice. :)

[Moonie]

I have discovered that this poem is very open to interpretation...i really loved one of my friend's..he thought this was about a girl who had died and now her soul was roaming like a gypsy or a wanderer...i like yours too!

[Relic]

Wow! That IS a good interpretation.

[Ethan]

Ah nice. Great job, "bold mesh of reds" is vivid.

[Moonie]

Thank you so much, Ethan! :)

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Loved the last paragraph a beautiful poem

[Moonie]

Thank you for your kind words!