I'm sorry maybe I'm a bit dirty minded but this comes across as sexy as all hell. The flow of this is great and is most certainly best savored if read aloud. All the inference and symbolism is wonderful just enough to guide but not direct... a perfect melding and a great write! I love the voice in here it's matter of fact but in a gentle sway giving it a very warm feeling that sets loose my imagination. This construct your symphony is about as perfect a write as i have come across just floored.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your words. Really appreciate!
I'm sorry maybe I'm a bit dirty minded but this comes across as sexy as all hell. The flow of this is great and is most certainly best savored if read aloud. All the inference and symbolism is wonderful just enough to guide but not direct... a perfect melding and a great write! I love the voice in here it's matter of fact but in a gentle sway giving it a very warm feeling that sets loose my imagination. This construct your symphony is about as perfect a write as i have come across just floored.
Posted 5 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Years Ago
Thank you so much for your words. Really appreciate!
hot and spicy read Moonglow! i love this... i started from your oldest post and worked my way here to find one i have not read ...i can not believe i have pretty much read all your "stuff"! :) all the tastes, textures and aromas ..memories of my Ma making caramel and fudge ... what a great read ..and it is so wonderfully sensual ..so classy ..love love love it..well done says i ...
E.
ps. especially enjoy
"sugar sweet feel.
A giant sugar glacier."
I like the scattered, obsessed feel about this piece, nice use of repetition as well. your choice of words in places made me pause to smile or giggle. overall, I think it is "sweet" lol :)
Forgive this male's use of the upcoming word, but at the risk of losing my Man Card, I 'ADORE' this piece.
...and I have a tooth or two that will attest!
ALWAYS the REAL stuff, not that fake crap with the aftertaste!
"Sweets to the Sweet!" ... some of us live and die by that saying :-)
A sweet 100/100 piece,
Thanks for the share!
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Aww...you risked the male card for it...dayum! :'D
cheers to sweets! Thanks for the review! :.. read moreAww...you risked the male card for it...dayum! :'D
cheers to sweets! Thanks for the review! :)))
"White euphorias", "powdered ecstacy", "chemical frenzy".....and it really is just about sugar? Love it!
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks, Roland! Muchly appreciated! :))
And yeah it's about sugar.........but not *just* abou.. read moreThanks, Roland! Muchly appreciated! :))
And yeah it's about sugar.........but not *just* about it....;)
This wasn't a bad write. I have a feeling that a lot of your writing will have more of a whimsical feel based on the fact that you are inspired often by shel Silverstein. "Wild chemical frenzy" is the part that sticks out as needing adjustment. There are just too many syllables. It interrupts the flow of the rest of the poem. I like your use of metaphor and punctuation, especially since very few on here realize that punctuation is necessary more often than not. I'll be reading more of your work. Well done.
Posted 9 Years Ago
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This comment has been deleted by the poster.
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9 Years Ago
Ah, the sweet taste of perfect punctuation.... ;)
'Twas more of a swift scribble to be honest.. read moreAh, the sweet taste of perfect punctuation.... ;)
'Twas more of a swift scribble to be honest...but yeah, I can see those loopholes in the flow.."wild chemical frenzy" should have been 2 syllables less to scan correctly. I'll mend those peeking flaws very soon...:))
Thanks for checking it out, Chase!
I can see pen to pen with you.. ill definitely review more of your work in time:) yes it would flow .. read moreI can see pen to pen with you.. ill definitely review more of your work in time:) yes it would flow so much more smoothly if you fixed that little niche!! I look forward to revisions, sugar girl:)
I'm walking up this huge glacier of sugar, my diabetic soul hungry for more, I burrow into this flavorful poem the symphony pouring into me all the more.
If you're a dreamer, come in
If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar
A hope er, a pray-er, a magic bean buyer,
If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire
For we have some flax-golden tales to spin
.. more..