Magic

~pure magic~

The sillage of your

 mint - green eyes

    still 

    lingers

like cold water

   onto 

icy windows after a

winter's showerwork. 

You've transfixed me

like ghosts entrapped in a

wizard's glass bottle.

Caught me like 

       Fallen

          leaves

 in the palm of a chartreuse pond.

Enchanted me. 

Ensnared me. 

Enthralled me, 

with your eyes. 

My heart is yours, my dear--

    at your command. 

         Soy cautivo de tu amor, 

            tu prisionero. 

Author's Note

Sillage= the beautiful french word meaning " a veil of scent that a person leaves behind when walking or when you enter a lift and smell that someone has been there before you,"
It is one of the prettiest untranslatable words.

The last lines have been taken from the song "Lloro por ti" by Enrique Iglesias.

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

thank you for including the meaning of sillage!!!! just astoundingly beautiful .. hailing from farm land i was wondering about your unique use of the word ;) those eyes in contrast with cold water and winter showers is graphic .. it hits the pane, wants to freeze; but simply can't for the heat .. lots of admirable language but "...chartreuse pond." transfixes me
E.

[Moonie]

Another brilliant review, E. Your reviews have a way of finding a permanent residence in my heart... :))
Thank you, E. :))

[Einstein Noodle]

love and peace moon!! right back at ya :)

[armin]

Sillage, indeed the word is beautiful.
Naomi ,the poem is creative and lovely.

Sillage ,wizard's glass bottle , winter's showerwork all very creatively used.

Enchanted me.Ensnared me.Enthralled me,with your eyes
The outstanding part of this writing.

Never heard of that enrique number but he is an amazing latin artist for sure, one of my favorites.

armin. ...

[Moonie]

Wow, thank you, Armin!! He's one of my favourites too. And you should listen to this one if ever you find time. I love the word sillage too.

[AaronFreitas]

What a nice piece my friend!
Good work and thanks for sharing this poem :)

[Moonie]

Ah, you've brightened up my page, dear Aaron!! :))
Thank you!! :)

[Emily]

I like the meaning!
Well done!

[Moonie]

Thank you, Emily. I am overjoyed to hear that!!! :D

[Adam Whitworth]

I think I've overdosed on love poems, not really believing in them at the moment.

Great, smashing, super, well done.

[Moonie]

Haha, I can understand. Thank you for the smashing review, Adam!! Really appreciate it!! :)

[nazia]

This is beautiful. The lingering sillage, what a beautiful effect it creates. This is something that works wonder. Great write dear :)

[Moonie]

Excellent words, dear! I appreciate your lovely comment. :))

[Jamestown]

Beautiful write! Wonderful sweet sentiment!
Gracious wording and excellent flow,
Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!

[Moonie]

Thank you for such a stellar review, dear James. I am truly humbled. :))

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Wonderful poem of love and devotion. A prisoner indeed but I would love to sup from that green French pond lol!

[Moonie]

Haha, I wish a real life chartreuse pond existed.. also a real life champagne pond..
Thank you for the kind review!! :))

[Butch Decatoria]

Simply beautiful, magical and lovely, whom ever this was inspired from much be something. Wonderful wonder your eye on the world. Kudos.

[Butch Decatoria]

must be something...ooops. He must be Someone and something special, now the muse of this tapestry. Awesome.

[Moonie]

Haha, that "much" sounded like "must" spoken in a kiddish way. Thank you for the lovely review!! :))

[ANTO]

This is indeed magical

I found this utterly enchanting -
"Caught me like
Fallen
leaves
in the palm of a chartreuse pond."

Great writing Naomi

[Moonie]

Thank you for the words of appreciation, Anto! I like that part too, although it was the last stanza to be added into the poem.

[ANTO]

Thats interesting - you and I create poems in a similar fashion then,I feel Naomi - I tend to rearrange stanza when the whole poem is in front of me - a lot of writers here have told me they write things down stream of thought with little editing. I wish I could do that at times because some of the 'stream of thought' poems are spectacular (Im thinking mainly of Richard here). Thanks for sharing that Naomi - I am fascinated by the different methods we all use to create.
:))

[Moonie]

I usually edit side by side. And sometimes(most of the times) I just know that the poem needs more-- like when you know that the soup or the stew needs something more, but you cannot pinpoint what. It's like that. And until I feel the poem is really compleye, I just leave it to mature for some time, and then perhaps days later inspiration hits in again. I know when my poems are complete and when they are not. It's weird, at times the poem would seem so perfect, and yet when you read it, it doesn't "feel" quite complete.
Most of the established poets advice the newbies to brainstorm first and then edit. With me it's mostly write, edit, edit, edit, write some more, edit, write, god damn it, that last edit almost took the best stanza away, edit, write, edit..

[ANTO]

We all have our own methodology but, I get what you mean about knowing when its just right - like baby bear's porridge. I usually have an idea, a spark then I have to get something of its essence into the yellow post-its pad on top of the fridge but if I have time then that usually proceeds to me on the couch covered in yellow post-its with writing on them and in some semblance of order (in my mind). They may mature then like yours - in my footstool - but mainly out of procrastination lol. If Im in the mood or I think its any good I'll type it into Word and save it. Again, theres either straight to formatting takes place or more procrastination (feck, I nearly type fornication there LOL) .
At times I will find the reams of post-its that have been put away in the footstool/box thingy and will bin or keep them. So yeah we are kind of the same in that we edit and we edit and we are fussy about what we put out there (though looking back through mines you wouldn't know it lol).Would I be right in saying you have perfectionist tendencies Naomi?

[Moonie]

Okay, WC probably erased my reply here...so here it goes again...
I reckon the similarity here lies in our perfectionist nature(and yes, I called you a perfectionist!!), while the difference lies in the fact that I never type out my poems. I guess I require some bodily contact with the poem. Only when I write tribute poems on here, or when I am much too away from my notebook, do I type it on my tab. As for computers-never in a million years...
Lol@ fornication..

[ANTO]

I worry that I'll have a notebook one day. ;)
btw I always laugh at fornication - lol - the very idea !

[ANTO]

(sings) " Is this the way to Alberobello...." - Im sure thats the wrong lyrics ...

[Moonie]

I am sure I don't quite (p)understand what you mean by those lyrics...
lol, I'm too bad!!! ;))

[ANTO]

Twas punimportant - the lyrics I mean
;)

[Moonie]

I was pundering about the same thing.... ;))
Hehe, this has to stop somewhere or we'll both go mad.

[ANTO]

Well its been punderful to play words with you Naomi - so I'll say that you had the last word and we can leave it there eh?

[Moonie]

Okay, I'll give you this one, but I am not easily defeated... Just something to punder upun.. okay I used your "upun" here. So it's a draw......for now...

hey, and you mind telling me your sun sign?? I thought cancerians were the punniest (I swear to god, no pun intended!!) ones..

[ANTO]

LOL @ the very ominous '...for now..."

My pun sign ?
Tis Leo

[Moonie]

Haha, now that you've pun your rightful trophy...
I've always been good with leos for some reason. 2 of my best friends, one of my exes, and even my dog, Berrybunny (yes I've a dog named berrybunny) are leo.. never mind whatever astrology says...am a cancerian btw...

[ANTO]

Im not a huge belieber in Justin but I dont believe in the stars either, muchly, im so unlike a typical Leo - Im shy and retiring and Im definietly not anyones ray of sunshine any more :(

I love the dogs name. BerryPUNny
;)

[Moonie]

Haha, way to pun my dog against me!! It was actually a funny way of saying "very funny". And it had beeries AND bunnies in it so..

I don't know, I'm a pretty strong believer muself, but I wouldn't unleash a leo's wrath by saying so, would I?? What's your dogs name, the one (pun) in the picture??

[ANTO]

I like the way you mess with words - have you no respect lol
People who play with words like that are funny.
My dog is called Rip cause he's dead - thats R.I.P
his name was Tyson though.

Leos dont have wrath - we're too busy looking fabulous to get angry

[Moonie]

Tyson's a cute name...it does rhyme with a word that I am not quite remembering...hmm..*stroking hypothetical beard* lol.
Exactly! How could I forget???

[ANTO]

Well....?
Leos arent known for their patience lmao

[ANTO]

And I hate to be pedantic but its impossible to stroke a hypothetical beard - you can stroke an imaginary beard or you can hypothetically stroke a hypothetical beard but I don tthink you can actually stroke a hypothetical beard - we need a referee in here - REF !! REF !!

[Moonie]

Haha, the word was "pun".. please don't murder me.... remember, being fabulous and all??
read moreHaha, the word was "pun".. please don't murder me.... remember, being fabulous and all??

Am I going to get a red card?? Hey, isn't hypothetical something imagined generally to illustrate a point? Well the point was me being wise and all. Beards were always associated with wisdom in ancient Greece....but i guess a beard doesn't grow wisdom.. hmm.. *looking through hypothetical half-moon spectacles*

[Moonie]

Exactly, how could I forget was for your fabulous remark.

[Moonie]

Eh, what if I made the stroking motion??

[ANTO]

Cleopatra had a beard when she was queen - I suppose its okay ... lol

[Moonie]

Take my word for it, either that beard was fake, or that Cleopatra was...

[ANTO]

lol - best one yet !! I'll beg your leave with that laughter in my ears Naomi.
Have a good night
Laterz :))

[Daydreamer]

how very very very lucky they are to be able to amuse and fascinate such an eloquent,pretty mind and a ferocious soul...
Thank you for the very positive feels,darling💖💖💖
I neeeeeddd positivityy💕

[Moonie]

My dear sagacious, where have you been these past months???I've missed you, and your witty comments. I thought this sonded pretty negative, but I guess we see what we want to see. Your positivity always cheers up my page. :))
With a big smile and hugs..ferocious. .

[Moonie]

Sounded*....