Wine and Water

~a fun write~

Your fortified tinctures

have diluted my memories, Mister!

Your vanilla essences

have ruined my past.

It is time, that mildness was a crime.

Your hard, cool logic solidified my

flying thoughts,

crystallized my airy mind,

wet and sobered my dreams,--

Weighing them down.

Your clear, little head,

brainstorming

my storms

has reduced them to dust.

Author's Note

I had fun writing this one, I hope you have fun reading it.

Reviews

[FOih;]

"brainstorming my storms" is my favorite line. I have a question though, illogical as it might seem, but isn't chaos in all love stories? I'm not defending someone who destroy's dreams, but love isn't sans its stormy weather now and again...

Reading it again though, that the storms do reduce your dreams to dust, tell me you need someone who can build rather than destroy.

[Moonie]

Thank you, Ian, for the beautiful words. I am all for chaos and illogical things...in this scribble I was trying to convey realism vs romanticism...I had a vision of two lovers, intricately connected and yet so apart in their views...one's the dreamer, the other is the logician. And I thought perhaps I should show the situation through their eyes. This is the one shown through the dreamer's eyes. I have the other one(the one through the logician's eyes) around somewhere, I reckon. I would post it here someday.
Thanks again for stopping by. I haven't been on this site since a long time. I would reciprocate as soon as possible. :)))))

[Sami Khalil]

Fun is always good with laughter. So are your writes of never ending ones...Bravo........

[Moonie]

Thank you, dear sir for the excellent words. :))...

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:).............................

[Matching Socks]

Brainstorming my storms. :)
Lol. I love that moon! This is definitely a stormy relationship, but in a good sense.
Full of fiery passion!

[Moonie]

Ah, Anaaa!!! I have so missed your reviews!! :))
And yes, a fiery relationship that one is.. :))

[Matching Socks]

It was great to read you again moon! :)

[Jennie Baron]

This was indeed fun to read! I love your artful language; it's perfect, and it's food for thought. I echo what Coyote said and also thank you for sharing.

[Moonie]

Woohooo!!! What a review, thank you, Jennie ma'am. It's the typical Logic vs. Emotions. I was wondering about the title though. I chose white grapes because "white" sounds like such a sober, logical colour and the poem had many words indicating being intoxicated with emotions so "grapes". But I am really not sure. I thought "Water and Wine" would sound better, but it sounded too bland(pun not intended :))) What do you think, ma'am??

[Jennie Baron]

"White Grapes" sounds better to me. Just my opinion.

[Coyote Poetry]

I liked the poem too. You combined many statements making the reader think and ponder. I like the flow of thoughts leading to the very good ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Moonie]

Thank you for the brilliant review, dear Coyote!! I am glad you enjoyed it. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are my Poet friend.

[nazia]

Oh this is an intelligent work dear. i liked the idea and the way of execution of the whole thing.. Good job :)

[Moonie]

Thank you, dear Nazia!! :))

[Ana B.]

You're right, i had fun reading this one :) Beautiful and honest and quite clever ;)
Nice work :D

[Moonie]

Thank you, dear Ana, for brightening my day with your lovely words!!:))

[MsJewel]

A very clever and creative little gem. Thanks for the rr!

:) Julie

[Moonie]

I am glad you found it clever ma'am!!! :))

[Alfred Kukitz]

Very feisty with unique overtures in poetic beauty! I like its tightness.

Regards,
Al

[Moonie]

I agree it sounds quite fiesty, but I couldn't have been mild, could I?...:)
Thank you for the lovely review, dear Al, and for brightening my day. :))

[Emily]

Great idea for a poem!
Well done!
Keep it up!

[Moonie]

Thank you, dear Emily! :)

[Einstein Noodle]

i get that this may have been a fun write .. but this is not funny ... no no no ... my impressions are that every single word is another bullet loaded .. there is horrific tragedy in your lines .. some other force .. rooted in ??? has sunk teeth into the flight of angels .. your language is beautiful .. nothing to change anywhere .. fantastic poem .. i am still feeling drained right now .. nice job Moon's .. using "Mister" for me means the speaker has moved on .. no longer confined .. at risk of gushing .. well done says i .. well done!
E.

[Moonie]

You got it, E. The speaker has moved on... I was reading about the Romantic movement, and I wanted to address the issue of Logic vs. Emotions, and I came up with the image of these two lovers(perhaps, doesnot sound so by the woman’s tone though) and I felt I had to give it a shot. Thank you for leaving such an amazing review as always!!! :))