Delivered

I wrote this as a tribute to my mother. Why? Because...i love her...

I was passed onto you from a place that's hardly familiar to me.
I was the first of my regimeé to make it to your hiding place.
Threw your walls, I had to race with others to chip my way threw.

I watched as the fallen of my kind wither away and became nothing.
              I was the Lucky one.
We connected
And as time drilled on, you got to know me much better. I took form and from our connection we became one.
Every day you nourished me as I rested deep within your quarters, surrounded by your watery shield of love.

Sometimes, if I listened real hard, I could hear you sing to me in your native tongue.
But the tides had to change.
I never knew what you looked like from the outside, but wished it so badly.
Sometimes I tried to break open the walls that contained me...because of my frustration. But then, some how, I felt the soothing warmth of your palm sending little messages of delight.

The day came when I could wait no longer.
I demanded to see your face.
I kicked at your gates for hours upon hours...begging  them to yield.
And then just as i had succeeded in entering this world...i followed the light to the end of your tunnel and saw your world.
             The outside.

I know it was painful to feel me pull and push my way to you...but I saw in your eyes that you too felt it was worth it.
We were both with joy. I did not know your language, but I showed you the best way I could that I loved you.
Then I felt a new kind of love...
a new kind of warmth...
And now that I can finally speak your native tongue, I want to say...
      Thank you mother for bringing me into existence...I Love You.

Reviews

[Carl]

Nanci this peice is amazing. I like the way you wrote from a unborns perspective. I can only tell what I feel about this piece. Stanza one where you say "I was the first of my regimee to make it to your hiding place" Am I under the assumption that you may have been a twin and unfortunately the other twin did not make it. Or is it that at conception there are many chances for the egg to be fertilised and you were the strongest and first to break down the walls.
Stanza two "I was the lucky one, we connected, I took form" This is my fave stanza. I love the way you wrote here about being in the womb. Smallest details are mentioned which just makes the peice a real insight to the reader, Nourishment and a watery shield of love.
Stanza three where you talk about Your mother singing and the warmth of a palm as it sends messages of delight. How many expectant moms sing and rub thier stomachs? Loads I bet again the samallest details give this peice an amzing depth.
Stanza four - Finally you achieve your aim and kick down the walls that held you in and you see outside. I like the way you said I demanded to see your face and so you kicked for hours.
Stanza five - You acknowledge the painfullness of childbirth and see in those first few moments the delight on your mothers face and that the pain has been worth it in the end. You end with the best words that a mother could ever want to hear "I Love You"

A beutifully crafted peice which was a joy to read and to me it cements your talent as one of the best new writers that i have read on here. Looking forward to reading more of your work
Kudos
Carl