Somewhere I Belong

Videl never felt love that caused her to ponder where she belongs. She has always been leftout. What would her life become if she arrived in a whole new world?

After a long day, Videl returned from school. She freshened up and took snacks to her room. When she entered her room, she saw two elves sitting on her bed. Videl wanted to shout but one of the elves snapped its finger and Videl couldn't scream anymore.

Videl noticed that the other elf was beaming a gleeful smile at her while the other was glaring at her. Out of fear, she rushed out of her room but reached a completely different world...

The world was different: most of the people there had animal heads and instead of horse carts, there were dragon carts.

Videl's eyes widened. She blinked a few times before she fully realized where she was. Her first thought was that she was dreaming but after pinching her arm, a little to hard for that matter, she realized that the world was in fact real. She felt a shiver run down her spine as her brain started to assess everything that was happening. Videl started to breathe heavily. She was starting to panic until, a warm feeling enclosed her. The feeling was unexpectedly known to her, but it calmed her down. Videl felt confused and empty yet she knew that it was somewhere she belonged.  

Videl looked around in search of the elves and found herself standing in front of a stall along with a buff man with broad shoulders, probably twice the size of her; yelling at her.

"Hey! Are you going to stand there all day and daydream? Or are you here to buy anything!?!" The man yelled with his curious green eyes.

"Well... At least they speak the same language..." Videl whispered to herself, "No sir, I'm not here to buy anything but do you know what this place is? And have you seen two elves?"

The man lowered his voice and began, "You don't know where you are...? And... Elves? Don't tell me you are working with that witch!!! GET OUT!!!"

Without having any other choice Videl walked away confused and subconsciously wandered of to an alley. She sat down on one of the steps and took out her phone.
She went through her contacts despite having no signal. Even if there was... whom would she call?

Her parents got divorced a year ago. Few months after the divorce her father passed away because of his heart disease. Her mother comes late and night drunk and she is happy with her new boyfriend and none of them cared for Videl. As for friends... Friendship is something she always dreamed about.

"Hey babe! You seem to be lost! Well then come here and let me show you where you belong." Three dreadful looking guys walked into the alley.

Videl took a step back as one of the guy (whom Videl assumed to be the leader) stepped towards her. "Now now... Don't be scared..." He said with his raspy voice.

As he took another step, a heroic structure appeared before her eyes. He had a well built body with broad shoulders, and red hair swaying with the wind.

Videl felt her cheeks heat up as the intoxicating figure stood infront of her.
The man commanded to the thugs," You thug should know better than to mug people in my area. If you want your lives to be spared then leave this town and I never want to face you goons again. If not, you shall face the wrath of my Relic." He said this as he placed his hand around what looked like the shaft of a sword hiding under his robes.

The three men stood perplexed for a while but ran away soon after.

"Man... These people are everywhere. And they can't stop picking on innocent people like you now can they?" A soothing angelic voice took over the air as he turned around to see Videl in the eyes.

Videl felt herself blush and mesmerised by his beauty. His blue eyes fell on Videl and he spoke again. " Anyways. I'm Reinhard. Nice to meet you. Although you don't look as if you are from here.... So, what's your story?"

Videl bulit up some courge to speak to Reinhard, "I'm not sure... I think I was summoned here by the two elves. Have you seen them?"

A dark shade took over Reinhard's face when he heard you speak. He lowered his cold voice and said, "Elves? Are you working with them!?!"

Before Videl could defend herself, she couldn't speak like earlier and soon saw Reinhard fade away because she was losing her vision.

She fainted.

Videl's eyes fluttered open and saw a royal ceiling above her.

"Welcome back home sweetheart. I've been waiting for you." A woman said with her calming voice and her kind face. Videl assumed she was sitting there for as long as she was out. She ogled at her face as if she was memorising that beautiful face that gave her a warm feeling of love. A feeling she has been craving for a long time...

Before Videl knew it, she had some flashbacks: her mother and father deeply in love with each other. But their love wasn't accepted by the law. The law, where no devil could marry a human.

The entire village was on fire as young two year old Videl was scrunched up in her mother's chest.

"We are sending you to earth honey! Its a safe place and no one can hurt you! Mommy and daddy loves you a lot!"

Those were the last words her actual mother said to her before she was summoned on earth. Her last memory of her father was him being stabbed in the heart.

Videl came back to consciousness with fire blazing through her veins as anger corrupted her. her eyes glowed as she looked in her mother's glistening eyes. With a grin she said, "Yes mother. I'm back home.... Now lets take revenge..."

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Author's Note

Dear reader,

I was not supposed to publish this story but my friends requested me to do so. Recently (February 9th 2019), there was a English carnival in Notore Dam college and i participated in "instant story writing". It is a competition where the organizer would give us a line or para and we had to continue.

In this competition i got the first place out of 4000 people. (I won something for the first time!)

Therefore i present you the story by which i got the first position.

PS. This story's idea has been taken from the anime re zero. So you may also consider this as a fan fic of it. You can always change the character name to your name.

If this story gets enough votes then i think i will continue the story. Until then, please enjoy

Reviews

[JayG]

Well, you did ask… Problem is, you’re using the writing skills we learn in our school days, and used for writing reports and essays. So…

Fact #1 After a long day, Videl returned from school.
Fact #2 She freshened up and took snacks to her room.
Fact #3 When she entered her room, she saw two elves sitting on her bed.
Fact #4 Videl wanted to shout but one of the elves snapped its finger and Videl couldn't scream anymore.

Someone external to the scene, in a voice devoid of emotion, dispassionately reports a chronicle of events. So, since it’s written like all the reports and essays you were assigned in school, it reads like a one.

Why did you win that contest? Two reasons. First, you are writing with skill. And given that no one else in the contest was aware that fiction’s objective is to entertain the reader by giving them an emotional, instead of an informational experience, the playing field was level and the best writer won. But is it written like fiction that people pay to read? No. So were you to continue the story without spending time acquiring the skills of fiction writing, the chance of selling it, either to a publisher or via self-publishing, is zero. I wish I didn’t have to be the bearer of such bad news, but I thought you would want to know.

It is fixable, though, because the problem isn’t one of talent or good/bad writing. It’s that you’re using a writing technique that’s inappropriate to the medium and the mission because it’s the only one you know.

So if the idea of writing fiction appeals, a bit of time spent in the library’s fiction-writing section acquitting the necessary skills would be a wise investment of time. And while you’re there, seek the names, Dwight Swain, Jack Bickham, or Debra Dixon on the cover. They’re pure gold.

For an overview of the things they’ll teach you, you might check a few of the articles in my writing blog.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Willys Watson]

It's possible whatever writing software he's using doesn't translate well into English. If so that might explain misspaced commas, among other things.

[Willys Watson]

I love this story and think it's sellable, but you do need to closely re-read the story and edit out typos before you submit it to a magazine type publisher.

[Ahmed Namisa Alam]

thank you so much! i really appreciate it!!!