Portal.

Portal; A Girl Waits For Someone By A Portal.

There was a young girl sitting on a large flat stone next to a stream. To her far right was the mighty mountain Nar'rag. And to her far left was a small village of Raven's Shade. She sat on the rock. 

It was quite a sunny day. The sky was clear and the air was warm. The trees around her swayed in the breeze. She felt at peace. 

She looked around her. Down at the bubbling stream. The sunlight glinted off the flowing water. Her hair fell over her eyes. She sighed as she reached up to push it back behind her ear. 

"Any minute now." She muttered to herself.

She sat and waited as the sun set. She still sat and waited as night fell. She was still waiting when the moon was high in the night sky. 

Suddenly a harsh bird cry sounded from the other side of the stream. The girl looked up, unsurprised.  A red gap opened up, a large gash in the fabric of the universe. It was twice the with of any man and twice the height of a warrior. 

Suddenly the gap was blacked out. by the silhouette of a man. He was tall and broad. His appearance made a beaming grin appear on the girl's face. He stepped out of the tear. Suddenly he seemed so much smaller, and so much larger. 

He stood in the grass, his sword dangled, readily, in his hand. His armour was black, lined with red. He stood the hight of any man, and the width of any blacksmith. H

His sword was a work of beauty. A double width longsword. In the centre it was as wide as his thumb, at the edges it was a razor. The hilt was studded in black stones. Small, glowing stones. 

The girl laughed. The man's eyes instantly found her, he turned his head left and right before running to her. He slipped the sword into it's scabbard. His large arms wrapped around her, he smothered her in his embrace. She gripped him as tight as she could. 
"I missed you." She whispered softly at his chest. "I missed you."

He knelt down and looked her in the eyes. "I missed you so much. But I told you, I'll never leave you again."

She sniffed, tears were racing down her cheeks. His touch had been too much for her, she had begun to cry. After years of waiting, not knowing when he'd be back, here he was. Right there. 

"I- I'm sorry." She hung her head. Tears still dripping off her chin. 

"Nonsense. What are you sorry for?" He lifted her head with one hand and brushed her hair back, behind her ears, as he looked deep into her eyes. "Oh..." He said. 

"I'm sorry." She whispered again. 

He pulled her close, circling her in his massive grip. "Don't be. Don't be." 

"I love you, Daddy." She sniffed. "I tried to stop them hurting you... I tried." 

"I know sweetheart. I know."

Reviews

[ohyesjeff]

Although you need to be more careful with your spelling/grammar, I like your concise writing style. As for the story itself, I like the idea behind it, but I think if you revised it a few times you would have a much better story. Also, one thing that I'm confused about: why isn't the girl surprised when she saw the bird if she knew it meant a portal would open up and she would see her father, after not having seen him for years?