Directions from Nowhere

A Poem by Namaa Hammond

In the studio where we first slept, I was lying down on feasible, broken shells
I wish I stayed flowing in my green tie-dye dress
There is another life for you to hold and to kiss, and now I have my self to amiss
My last bargain was never dismissed
some feet below, in my final enuresis

Permanently, I'm looking up from my bed of ancient shells
Now for eternity, I am corrupting in hell
Without a voice and breath, I questioned myself,
Why were you not so good to yourself?

If I reeled the strings back into our room, and refused
I would still be blooming and singing right to next to you
We would be baking and making fun of the news, then listening to rock and roll, and the blues

The music and strumming slowly faded into a trance
There was no final chance
Here's what he came back for
The devil wanted to dance
I trialed for my purposeness
But grieve grew out of my own hands

Then came a day my vision slowly fell like thick rain
The devil got too close to me, every time he went away
The nights not recalled, blew zephyrs back into the cloud
The sound of silence was now close to my ears like thunder, but violently loud

16-gauge steel, there they were, my new walls, but not just for now
The lonely sounds of shovels grew as the dirt hauled, and I hear my final bell
The devil wanted to dance straight into hell

There is no kingdom for a recreational corrupted dreamer
Here is the truth, I've met the the grim reaper
His seed implanted in me with his hypnotizing gaze,
Then he seeked and seized away all of my days
From the gallows, my hellos became bellows, all five corners I smelled the roses from below my stairwell
Standard steel or mahogany, now I bid my own farewell
Marigold hailed upon me, he whispered "I will see you in hell"
No longer was he walking, but on stilts
The visit came maniacally, but my exit was silent and skilled

Different music echoed and came from the same wells
But I've forsaken, and I can't escape this cell
I could not make up for the ones I love the most, and I don't want them to wish me well
There is nothing else to do but regret, shame, guilt and then I lost myself

That said and done, I'm still in my cold and velvet grey room
It gets even lonelier when I lye under your tears, smell, and your new polished black shoes

Deformity still shrills in my mind, providing unnatural wavelengths
Conspiricizing my mind, while I was flying over cloud 99

I wish I never went down the Virginia blue bell path, I miss the smell of sage, and I cringe from the smell of cigarette ash
Without warning I crept into a casket, now my mind is permanently cuffed in chains

Home was not so far, yet it was the farthest
Now I have accepted that it's my time to quit stirring the witch's brew
I have my life and family, whom I will stay holy and commit to
The hill that once traced my footprints, is now your landslide
Now hold that memory inside a worn out satchet, then burn it
I already did.
You have no peice of my heart, especially if you held a dagger and punctured right through it
I have no rememberance of the steps, not south nor steep
Remember, when you trapped me? Now look in from your screen
Thank you, for I have cleaned my mind from sorrow and sin
Especially your cold, damp skin
Your loud noises are now only a faint whisper

My presence and armor has only gotten bigger and cripser.
This is the one life we get and it can get snatched out and disembodied.
Make peace with your highest power, because after the dirt showers, the clock will drop our bodies, and there is no watchtower.