Rise and Fall

RISE AND FALL

Tripping, trembling but not falling,

Faltering all the way but not stopping

Wishing it would end someday 

I get along with my life's rise and fall.

Fighting back my thoughts,

Letting them not consume me up 

Hoping one day I will be strong 

I get along with my life's rise and fall.

Stumbling for words but I am not silent,

Not letting my words fade off,

Believing that my words never leave me 

I get along with my life's rise and fall.

Believing I can get along,

I remember the wise words,

I let the sadness affect me to emerge strong,

That's how I toss up amidst the life's rise and fall. 

Reviews

[ABDUL WAHAB]

Nice poem. It encourages us to fight against the odds.
Your poem is similar to my poem 'Pulls and Pressures'.

[Tamika]

This reminds me of a song. Very beautiful.

[Ahmed Namisa Alam]

you just put a stage of life in a matter of few words. amazing job!

[barleygirl]

Sorry I've been away from the cafe as our winter raged on & I'm just now catching up on read requests. It's always good to read you again! I like your philosophical way of expressing ideas in original ways. This poem seems a little bit "in the head" -- like you are being more analytical than conveying feelings. Normally I encourage poets to be more sensory, but I actually like this being more cerebral. You still manage to convey the sensations of having life pushing & pulling at us, even tho you do not express feelings very much in this message. It's the powerful way you express what you're thinking that helps this be transmitted in a more gutteral, physical way too (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Joey Nizz]

Such beautiful poetry, Najam its been a while since I've read some of your amazing work!
Thank you for sharing ^^

Life and its battles through the war of the rise and fall, you have captured this very well with strong emotions and feelings in your words.

[Flowers of Eternity]

This is poem, has a powerful message. I can relate to it in every way. Thank you so much for sharing wonderful poem!

[Black Jess]

Today, you and Joey somehow helped me by your writings. I just read one poem of his and it was what I needed, and now i'm reading this and it has the same effect !
This sentence captured me '' i let the sadness affect me to emerge strong '' So Beautiful *-*
and there's this : Fighting back my thoughts, Letting them not consume me up ... THat's exactly my problem, I think a lot and I try soo hard to fight my thoughts, and they end up consuming me like a parasite, a real Toxoplasma that eats my head !
I've got advices from a wise and dear person, and i'm learning not to overthink.. and I hope someday I can have a '' peace of mind '' that lasts !
THis is really Nice, and i like the repition of ' life's rise and fall ' it really captures the meaning.
Thanks ^^

[Joey Nizz]

Im really glad that our writings have helped you Jess ^^

[Ethan]

Hey, this poem's not too bad, good job. I have just a couple things to say. First, technically speaking, all of these stanzas are comprised of incomplete sentences. However, the problem becomes easily fixed by inserting "I am" at the beginning of every stanza. Second, on a smaller level, whenever you use the word "but" in the middle of a sentence, you need to use a comma after the word before "but." So, for instance, the first line should say "I am tripping, trembling, but not falling." Third, in the second stanza's second line, I'd change the word "me" to "myself" and remove the following "up." Because you're talking about consumption, the directional "up" feels odd and doesn't really belong in the line. Other than those minor points, nicely done. Keep writing :)

[Mavericks]

Bravo. Enduring. One of your personal best.

[Chris Shaw]

I felt the struggle in your lines to deal with the ups and downs that come with life. However, there was also positivity and determination to succeed. There is strength in that. Nicely conveyed Najam. All good wishes.

Chris

[Najam Us Saher]

Thank you very much.

[Chris Shaw]

You are welcome.