Over the years

OVER THE YEARS 

Unlike the happiness that compels,

My sorrows inspired me.

My grief pushed me forward

And my loneliness motivated me.

Unlike the ideal persons that aspire,

My heart had a image of the person I must not be

My memories quenched the raging fire

And my solitude kept me going. 

Unlike a soul that touches hearts of many,

My broken self was along,

My unaccomplished dreams I desired

And my hope faltered, but never faded. 

Unlike the positivity that helps,

My accusations tempted me to prove them wrong,

My guilt has changed the thoughts

And my regrets reformed me. 

Unlike the perfections that helps

My flaws I embraced,

My restlessness gave me hope

And my imperfections just perfected me all the way. 

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I completely understand what you're saying & I agree wholeheartedly. Many times humans are motivated by wanting to avoid some bad outcome. Coming from a childhood of abuse, some ruined their lives and their bodies by doing punishing things to act out their hurts. I saw this & it was my example of what I did not want to do with my own personal pain. You have a powerful message here, but it could be made more personal if you were more specific in the examples you use. When you keep your message in the realm of being general, the message feels more vague. For example in the last verse: "my restlessness" -- you could SHOW me what this looks like by describing it in more detail, show me that searching yearning impatient person you are referring to in a generalized way. Does this person tear away his skin as he waits for life to unfold? Try to use more vivid imagery to SHOW instead of tell. You have a great imagination & you have strong messages to share . . . and you could make it even more memorable by getting out of the zone of generalities! *smile* Fondly, Margie

[Najam Us Saher]

Firstly, I thank you very much for in depth review. I understand the point you are trying to tell me. I will rewrite and be more specific so that the message I want to convey reads like my own story.
Your appreciation means a lot to me. I thank you from the depths of my heart. Have a wonderful day :)

[Gaurav]

That's the thought of a brilliant writer and pure soul. Our imperfections can be a mirror to ourselves and help us grow. Very compelling read.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am really happy to know that you liked this. Thank you so much.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

I think it depends on individuals what they derive their strengths from so I agree and relate with what you conveyed here. I do agree with barleygrl in what she said below about the show not tell part, which is an important aspect in really making the reader in sync with whatever you write.
Well penned.

[Najam Us Saher]

Yeah, I felt the necessity of it too. Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts :)

[.]

True. I can so relate to what you have said. And the way you ended it... I just loved it. It was great.

[Najam Us Saher]

Thank you very much, it means a lot.

[.]

You're welcome :)

[MaximumFlight]

Very hopeful, yet somehow saddening in a way I can't explain, but I still enjoyed what you had to say.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am happy that you liked it. Thank you very much.

[Fatima]

This gives me hope too, it's very inspiring and empowering too !

[Najam Us Saher]

I am glad that it did, thank you very much.

[Onlyme]

I can really relate to your emotions and words in this powerful poem. About wanting to move forward and prove them wrong. And doing it for you more so. No one else. Ahmen to you Najam. Motivational, inspirational. And speaking from the heart, mind and soul. The spirit is a powerful quality that can not be ignored.

[Najam Us Saher]

What more can I want than my words touching your heart. Thank you very much, I am truly happy to hear that this inspired you.

[wredit.jordan]

This poem reminds me of when someone tells me I can't do something, and so I have to prove them wrong. Your words are inspiring, "My flaws I embraced."

[Najam Us Saher]

I am happy that you found it inspiring :)
Thank you very much.

[Abraham George]

I am happy to see your realizations. Growing more mature , make you more strong. Failures will make you bold. All will help you to take better decisions later.

With hugs
Abram Geo

[Najam Us Saher]

Exactly! Time makes one realise, thank you very much.

[sette]

wisdom grows old with age.. maturity intellectually makes us grow in one way or another

[Najam Us Saher]

I wholeheartedly agree. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your views.