A Barren Land

A BARREN LAND

I am abandoned and barren

I simply exist and is of no use

Twigs and trees withered away

I am a land without rain

My path is muddy 

No one comes my way

I am left untrodden

People shoo me away

I am a land 

Unchosen and isolated

Darkness is my faithful companion

And loneliness- my other half

Not even trees choose me to grow upon

I feel so useless

No traveller crosses my path

Are they so ruthless?

I exist since existence 

I feel I have no purpose 

I wait for people to come my way

And explore my paths.

Reviews

[Mavericks]

Sometimes you are here to create your own path. Be the Trailblazer. Being unique and going your own way. This poem reminds me of those lines of Robert Frost from the Poem "The Road not taken."
"Two roads diverged in a wood and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost.
Always Believe in yourself. What's your life path btw?

[Najam Us Saher]

While I was writing this those lines crossed my mind too. Thank you so much for reading and sharing your views.
I do not know what my path is I am a girl with a aim and dreams.

[Mavericks]

Here. https://video.numerologist.com/mesl_v1.5/aff-dt.php?utm_source=apd26&hop=apd26

[Dr. YumnaKay]

You must have done a great deal of wrong to them to be treated like that (isn't that what we're most often told?...) lol jk
On a serious note, I think this is one of your darkest pieces that I've so far read. I like it. Sometimes you have to take it exactly how you feel, regardless of the way it comes out.
There's a difference between being alone and lonely, as they say. Perhaps both are as bad as the other. Although I do prefer the former. And you can feel lonely in the company of people too, so better that one feels lonely in one's own presence than of the others. ..
I'm rambling, but I somehow relate to this piece on a certain level. Good write.

[Najam Us Saher]

I have written many dark poems, I am surprised that you found this one to be the most.
My bad, I spelled it wrong! That spelling was wrong since the existEnce of this poem and I did not realise it😄
Thank you so much :)

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah well, that's my fault, I guess. I've been inactive in terms of reading and reviewing writers here although trying to do that more often, so I must have skipped several of your writes 😶
:D haha that's okay, you can count on me to point out stuff like that 😜
You're welcome. I enjoy reading you :-)

[Najam Us Saher]

Good to see you always :)

[Deepak Belbase]

I'm really surprised to read this comparison. it's a kind of comparison that make sense but you can't prove it completely wrong! everything has it's own merits and demerits. You know that is not completely true that barren land is not explored by the people. Actually! people do explore it in excitement! even people live in barren lands(desert are the example of that). My point is that no matter how useless you think of yourself but truth is that you exist here for a purpose. like barren serve hell on earth (I know it's negative, but still a purpose), to remind the people that it exist here to teach you how to survive in worst condition.

so,you write your feeling in great way. my friend don't compare yourself with barren land! barren land can't write a beautiful poetry like you do... have a nice day

[Najam Us Saher]

I like it when people add more to my thoughts which I can agree on.
Barren lands do get explored when a traveler lost their way, they get noticed when people walks their way.
I wholeheartedly agree with you. Thank you very much for making me feel that barren lands are meant to be barren for a reason, I loved the thoughts where you made this negative poem into a motivating one with your perspective.
That was so kind of you to say that a barren land cannot write poetry like I do. It means so much to me to hear that. You made my day. Thank you very much. Have a wonderful day ahead.

[Deepak Belbase]

my pleasure!

[Zoya]

I love the comparison.
People often make you feel that way. Loneliness can be so taxing, but solitude can also work wonders. We just need to look at the brighter side of the moon.
Waiting for the flowers to bloom on the barren land once again. Nice write :)

[Najam Us Saher]

You are right, thank you very much for reading and sharing your views. Good to see you after a long time, how are you?

[Zoya]

Most welcome.
Good to see you too! Life's been a little stressful lately, school and boards and coaching, but I'm learning to manage. How are you? :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Oh! I understand. All the best for it. I am good :)

[Zoya]

Good to hear!
And thanks so much :D

[Najam Us Saher]

No need to mention thanks dear :)

[Judy Emery/ Lilly Emery]

This sounds like an isolated desert, If so it is deep with emotions, as if your words just came alive with an image of what one would feel being abandon out in the desert heat. I could see the snakes and the hot sand where you always crave water, love, friends. This is a very deep write I love it.

[Najam Us Saher]

Yes I am happy that you understand exactly what I wanted to convey. Thank you very much.

[Eva]

This is beautiful. It's like you took everything I've every written, filtered out the happy an meaningless stuff, and then made what was left a million times better. I don't know how I've never seen anything of yours before, But i'm very glad I have now.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am sure you will like my other poems too. Thank you so much for reading and appreciating it means a lot to me.

[Vicky]

Critics?
You used several words mulitple times, which can give a repetitive feel. (But that could be on purpose.) And in the second line you wrote 'is' instead of 'Am', which is grammatically incorrect in the english language. (Also could be purposeful)
Good stuff?
"Darkness is my faithful companion, and loneliness my other half." lines like these are the reason I love poetry. Not to mention I know this feeling well.
Well done.

[Najam Us Saher]

This poem talks about a path which feels abandoned and by using it as a metaphor I tried to express my own isolation. Also, this poem is a personification of the path, it depends how you perceive it.
Thank you very much for pointing out the errors and for such a honest review. In the second line it is supposed to be 'is' instead of 'am'.
I sincerely thank you again :)

[Vicky]

You're very welcome. I like the poem and that quote is sure to stay with me for a long time.

[Najam Us Saher]

That is so kind of you.

[sonnie ibadah]

The raw emotions in this is beautiful

[Najam Us Saher]

Thank you very much for reading and understanding my emotions.

[.]

I've been away for a long time and it was a great reading your poem just after coming back and made me realized how much I missed this place and fellow writers here. Great poem with strong words, strong lines. I loved it. And thank you very much for making me have a good start again with your poem.

[Najam Us Saher]

I feel happy that you are back. Thank you very much for starting with mine to complete requests. It means a lot.

[.]

You are very welcome, my friend :)

[Mustafa Merchant]

Some time the land itself might not know what it holds within. Some times people just visit you to pluck fruits out of you. It’s better to stay barren.

[Najam Us Saher]

I really liked your idea. Thank you very much for reading. It means a lot.

[Shubham Sharma]

Fantastic wordings and brilliant narration. The perspective is that of a desert or how the desert looks to a wanderer. But beneath that narration you have included psychological aspects of human life especially the abstract things like loneliness and depression. This thing only a handful of writers are capable of doing. Keep up the good work.

[Najam Us Saher]

I am glad that you have understood the meaning beneath my words. I am really happy reading your review. It means so much to me. You have my greatest gratitude.