Lively death

LIVELY DEATH

I see fog everywhere,

It resembles my confused mind,

I am standing on a cliff,

Still I don't feel high.

You are along with me crossing the bridge,

On these high and risky mountain cliffs.

I may lose you I fear,

I am glad you are here,

The cold wind shivers me,

Still I can't feel that warmth of you being near me.

I may lose you while crossing the path,

We took this risk to prove our love,

I look at you, I shed a tear,

This is not about facing our fears.

Time is little and here we stand,

I jumped down the cliff holding your hand.

Now I don't fear losing you,

I am sorry I couldn't survive being away from you,

I am sorry that I didn't let you live,

Here we are, falling down the cliff.

I am glad I loved you till the end,

At last, I became weak to bear life's bend,

Again I feel solaced in presence of nature,

I feel happy we die seeing each other.

Maybe we will be happy then,

After we die, till the very end. 

Reviews

[Threads]

Well written. It somewhat gives a picture of the woman bringing her loved one down with her in the confusion she is feeling. In the falling apart of her life his life is torn as well, but she is only glad that he is there with her, unable to see the sorrow she has imparted on him along the way until the very end. Definitely a poem with a tragic sense of loyalty woven throughout.
Thank you for the read request. This is without a doubt one of the better poems I have read!
-Threads

[Najam Us Saher]

I am glad to know that you liked it and understood what I wanted to express. Thank you so much. ☺

[Joey Nizz]

Wow this is really beautiful, even in death there's true love.

Nicely done Najam :)

[Najam Us Saher]

Thank you so much ☺

[Joey Nizz]

Your welcome ^^

[Giulia King]

So this is about suicide? ... I really don't know how to review this without sounding too harsh.
I've lost loved ones, due to the choices that they've made but they don't know the agonizing feeling they leave behind, to us.

[Abraham George]

i agree with you Gullia King. that why i comment that.

[Giulia King]

Yeah and my reaction was exactly like the review you left

[Najam Us Saher]

No..it's just my imagination. I didn't want to make the readers feel like suicide is the best option. I wanted to convey that they loved each other truly that they died together. That's it.

[Surya]

Umm, it may be a fantasy but hope I have it, and your poem simple it is but emotions here, your smiles behind words, everything mixed up to reflect a true form of love....:)

[Najam Us Saher]

Yes. It is entirely fiction. Thank you for reading. ☺

[Abraham George]

mmm i don't know what to tell you

[Farhan Shaikh]

Awesome poem it is, to die with the one you love..it reduces the fear of death and we can breath smoothly we can die together and holding each others hands forever, I really like this saher.

[Najam Us Saher]

Thank you so much. I am glad that you understood the exact meaning. Thank you ☺