Chapter 1: Emrys, Contemplative

Chapter 1: Emrys, Contemplative

A Chapter by Alli B
"

This turned out sadder than I expected. I wanted to capture the state of the world as it was, to show how desperate things are, and how much is at stake. Did I go overboard?

"

Chapter One: Emrys, Contemplative

 

               Emmy Johnson collapsed on the couch, his heavy breathing the only sounds in the house.

 

               But not for long. No, his little sister was coming home soon, and she'd wonder where their parents were, and then he'd have to tell her that-

 

               The door opened and shut with a light click. There was a few footsteps, and then a voice, ringing clear as crystal in the silence of an empty house. "Em, where's Mom and Dad?"

 

               Emmy took a shaky breath, and stood up, a hand on the couch arm for balance.

 

               Turning around, he saw her standing in the entranceway, as proper and immaculate as always, not a single strand of her long brown hair out of place, her bookbag still slung over her shoulder.

 

               Her dark brown eyes narrowed as she spoke again, too impatient for an answer. "Emrys, where is Mom and Dad?"

 

               Emmy still didn't answer, but motioned to the couch, urging her to take a seat.

 

               Her little mouth twisted downwards, she dropped her bookbag with a loud thump, and sat down on the couch, more prim and proper than any eight year old should be. She was always like that, trying too hard to be a mini adult. Well, they always said that trauma ages children prematurely...

 

               Emmy sat next to her, leaning back into the cushions. He really didn't need her bad mood right now. He had enough of one all on his own.

 

               "Drusilla," he started, but found he couldn't continue with the large lump that suddenly formed in his throat.

 

               She was staring straight at him now, brown eyes burning a hole in her shoulder. "You called me Drusilla. You NEVER call me Drusilla."

 

               He just took a breath and tried not to meet her eyes. Knowing that she'd keep prying at him if he didn't start talking, he turned to face her.

 

               "'Silly..." he said, shakily, using the nickname he knew she hated "Mom and Dad are in the hospital. They... they have the Vivien Virus."

 

               Drusilla looked at him, eyes wide and mouth open like a fish, looking every bit the little girl she truly was. "No," she said when she found her voice. "No. No! They can't! I thought... I thought it hadn't come this far yet! I... no..."

 

               Emmy held her as she started to cry, tears running down her face like a broken facet. "There, there..." he said, for lack of anything encouraging to say."It'll be alright."

 

               "No! No it won't!" Drusilla pushed him away, her sadness turning to anger. She glared at him, her eyes reddened by her tears. "You always say that things are going to be okay, but they never are!"

 

               Emmy gave her her space, letting her march upstairs to her bedroom. He closed his eyes, listening to the heavy stomping of her feet, then her door slamming shut.

 

               He didn't blame Drusilla for her anger. It was just her way of letting out her emotions. When most people got sad, she got mad. According to her, it was more productive.

 

               Emmy leaned back into the couch, letting his head hit the cushion. Aimlessly, his hand found the TV remote, and he turned it on. He needed the white noise, something mindless to get his mind off of his troubles and onto anything, ANYTHING other than the Vivien Virus.

 

               What he got was an afternoon news report, detailing all that they knew about the tragedy that had befallen. Emmy listened against his will, hoping to find some new development had arisen, a cure had been found, at least the cause being discovered. However, there was nothing new, just the same basic details that everybody had already known: one week ago, people all over the world had started getting sick, with no explanation as to why, and no cure in sight. The first victim was a young girl in Wales named Elaine Vivien, who came down with it suddenly, and was dead before anybody had known what was happening to her. It was only after the autopsy that they realized her internal organs had somehow melted sometime before her death.

 

               People all over, from scientists to conspiracy theorists, had theorized why this was happening. Their ideas had gone from the believable- a new type of life form, a biological terrorist attack, some sort of bacteria in the water that was untraceable by current technology- to the outright insane- aliens, the government, and Emmy heard a friend’s theory about  little robots that attacked people's blood cells to attach their mine control devices. (And this was why his parents said he needed better friends.)

 

               Emmy changed the channel again, and smiled when he found it was playing a rerun of The Nights of the Round Table. He and Drusilla loved this show; the hammy acting, the cheesy but endearing acting, and of course, the dreamy Andrew Ashton.

 

               Emmy thought about going upstairs and getting Drusilla, but decided not to. When she was upset, it was like being around a wild lion; it's better to watch from a distance, not up close where she could bite. Mom and Dad always said that she'd grow out of it, eventually. But would they live long enough to see it?

 

               Emmy shook his head, focusing on the show. It was a good episode, where King Arthur needed to visit the mysterious and mystic Lady of the Lake to gain the mighty sword Excalibur. After setting him on many trials- because the show ran an hour with commercials, and they had to pad it somehow- the Lady of the Lake finally gave him Excalibur, with which he was to smite his most dangerous foes. But she warned him that he must return the sword before his death, or face her watery wrath.

 

               Briefly, Emmy wondered as the credits rolled, what that watery wrath would entail. Would it be a series of Floods, hurricanes, and whirlwinds, or would it be a drought, rivers and lakes drying out? And how could she do anything like that, since she was only noted as the Lady of the Lake, rather than say... The Lady of the Sea. Granted, she could somehow grant powerful magical weaponry to whoever she chose, so maybe she was more powerful than her title would suggest.

 

               Emmy watched the marathon until all the episodes ran together, and it seemed like Lancelot was flirting with Galahad rather than Guinevere. It was better to live in that little world, of a surprisingly clean medieval England and knights that wore shining armor that came to the aid of all, than to live in the real world, where countless people were dying, and nobody knew why, only that their insides were slowly being liquefied and oh god, he needed to stop thinking about it now!

 

               As the credits of the season finale rolled and the shooting star logo shot across the sky, Emmy closed his eyes and made a wish. A brave king to lead them to the solution, a valiant knight to fight off the cause, or even just a wise wizard to find the cure.

 

               Any of those would have been wonderful to see. However, all he saw when he opened his eyes again was the beginning theme of some sci-fi show. Groggily he rose, feeling more like sixty than sixteen as he trudged upstairs to bed, collapsing into it and falling into a deep, troubled sleep.

 

               He dreamt of standing in the middle of a large white room, holding Drusilla in his arms and trying to protect her from... Something, although he didn't know what it was. Then, suddenly he saw his parents, standing together at the other side of the room. They looked straight at him, and then started melting, like wax dolls left in the sun.

 

               He ran towards them as fast as he could, wanting to somehow save them, but it seemed that no matter how fast he ran, he couldn't reach them. Finally, they were gone, no more than clear puddles on the floor.

 

               Emmy then heard a shriek coming from behind him. Turning around, he saw Drusilla, already half melted on the floor. She looked up at him, eyes wide and scared. Then, before he could take a single step, she was gone.

 

               Emmy awoke in a sweat, feeling almost as though he was starting to melt. His heart racing, he took long, deep breaths to try and calm himself down. It was just a dream, just a dream...

 

               Right out of the blue, he felt a jab right in his shoulder, as if being poked sharply. Emmy relaxed. It was probably Drusilla, not wanting to sleep alone after what had happened. If she had a nightmare like his, he didn't blame her.

 

               Emmy sat up, yawning. "Mmhh... Mornin', Dru. How ar-AAARGH!"

 

               Emmy was face to face with a giant, hulking beast, with slitted eyes and a lion's face. In the dim light of the room, he could just make out a pair of wings flapping restlessly.

 

               The lion-thing shifted, putting one paw on top of the other. Then, just when Emmy thought things couldn't get more surreal, the creature spoke, with a gruff, rusty tone.

 

               "Hello, Emrys. It’s about time you woke up. Now, are you ready to save the world?"



© 2013 Alli B


Author's Note

Alli B
Please, share all thoughts, good and bad. I need to know any problems, so that I can fix them.

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Featured Review

This feels to me a little removed, like you should have been more in Emmy's head and less like an overall narrator. I think that's what you were aiming for, to be 3rd person but from his point of view.

I like the idea, virus taking over the world and that's the problem the hero needs to solve. But it all seemed too rushed to me, like you wanted to get this part over with. I think it should be flushed out more. More details, more about how he's feeling, more of his sister getting pissed. I didn't really get the emotion in the piece. It didn't feel real and I think it's because you wanted to get this part out of the way.

You say the kid acted older, and trauma always ages, so was she traumatized before this and that aged her, or were you saying she'll age more after this because her parents dying would be the trauma?

When you say "Emmy then heard" take out the then.

On the last line, I get what you were trying to do, it was supposed to be surprising and dramatic and set up for the rest of the story, the "Yer a wizard, Harry" moment, but I don't think it quite makes it there. It sounds kind of corny.

So, those are my nitpicky, maybe try to fix them things because I figure I wouldn't be too much help if I just said what I'm about to next :) Overall, it's a good start to a story. We get the idea of the character, the problem he has to solve, and how he gets shoved into being the hero. So good job :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This feels to me a little removed, like you should have been more in Emmy's head and less like an overall narrator. I think that's what you were aiming for, to be 3rd person but from his point of view.

I like the idea, virus taking over the world and that's the problem the hero needs to solve. But it all seemed too rushed to me, like you wanted to get this part over with. I think it should be flushed out more. More details, more about how he's feeling, more of his sister getting pissed. I didn't really get the emotion in the piece. It didn't feel real and I think it's because you wanted to get this part out of the way.

You say the kid acted older, and trauma always ages, so was she traumatized before this and that aged her, or were you saying she'll age more after this because her parents dying would be the trauma?

When you say "Emmy then heard" take out the then.

On the last line, I get what you were trying to do, it was supposed to be surprising and dramatic and set up for the rest of the story, the "Yer a wizard, Harry" moment, but I don't think it quite makes it there. It sounds kind of corny.

So, those are my nitpicky, maybe try to fix them things because I figure I wouldn't be too much help if I just said what I'm about to next :) Overall, it's a good start to a story. We get the idea of the character, the problem he has to solve, and how he gets shoved into being the hero. So good job :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow. this was really good, and I can't wait for more. :3

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on August 25, 2013
Last Updated on August 26, 2013
Tags: Urban Fantasy, sadness, possible apocalypse


Author

Alli B
Alli B

Falls Church, VA



About
Hello, my name is Alli, and I'm here to get feedback for a story I will hopefully turn into a book! I choose this site because out of all the fiction sites I looked at, this one seemed the most lik.. more..

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