Diamonds and Burning Fields Await

"I feel where no one is. Can be - could be, would want to be - since when? On I press, blood-stained staff - it slowly splits, shedding splinters. In the wake of wild and unconscious prisms of thought - those violently precise self-contained riots; a mute, blind, emaciating fury follows close behind, whispers - forevermore, 'Lowell'."

Reviews

[Tony Woods]

Well, first I will say that this is a very well written paragraph/verse, I'm not quite sure what it's about to be honest with you, but it's worded well and I think it would be a great passage to something more.

When I say something more, it just seems unfinished to me. Maybe it isn't and I'm missing something blatent, but I don't know, it just seems like I leave wanting a little more; or maybe you'd have to dumb it down for a guy like me, who knows. It shows you are very descriptive, that's certainly eveident. Overall it was gooid, but like I said, seems unfinished.

[Melissa Kesead]

The imagery is tangible. Wonderful write!

[Onyx Sky]

This piece is like a splinter/sliver of information from a fragment of someones thoughts. Therefore contributes to the ambiguity and deliberate enigmatic notion it gives off. Thoughts never do make sense, and I think you played up on this idea. THe way it ends, doesn't really feel like a ending at all, and it leaves you in a mind f**k. Like one of those cubes at barnes n noble nobody can figure out. Keep writing, this rocks :)

[Queen of wands]

I am trying to find the potential this piece has. I agree with Tony Woods review of it. It is difficult to really understand the piece without a little more information. The fragments invite branches of thought that don't connect. It leaves the reader with the feeling of almost a deliberate sense of being left undone. I think it is worth expanding.

[Kourtnii]

I agree with Tony. ^^
it seems unfinished, but it leaves and eery feeling to it.

It put a picture in my mind, and its a fantastic poem.
Its really good ^^