Terms and Conditions apply, said the Office

A Story by Erica

Who walks around me

I started writing on an old �" style looking paper in Microsoft Word file in my office, on a really disgusting grey morning.
I would never call this morning disgusting if it was only grey, but it was a Saturday, I was at work and the problem was how quiet our office was. I do love grey weather, cold and rain as much as I like a bit of sun and green lawns. But the office was too quiet, and when there’s no voices around, I feel a little bit uninspired.
So there I was, the only person in monochrome square print trousers, longing for something at least a drop of creative.
Other days, I would have something prepared. I would think the evening before, or the morning of my daily commuting what will I be doing all 8 hours at work.
Don’t get me wrong I am a busy person �" I am busy all the time in my life, barely finding time to be with my Mom or my boyfriend, barely having time to play with my pet or do what I enjoy �" to paint, to read, going to a café, going for a walk… This list of things I enjoy is never ending anyway. And I have no time for them, because the only time I can do these is probably those 8 hours at work.
Since I moved over to Scotland, I have been studying the cultural side of things, secretly, I have always been very nosy in the most introvert way �" being around, listening to parts of people’s conversations as much as I understood the language �" or here in Scotland, simply being told a bit of gossip. And that’s how I learned that in Scotland, people are much much more nosy than I am. They want to know.

For your curiosity, last few days of my productive time at work, I was reading and learning about art directions, about cars I want to buy, about how to draw which was a very unsuccessful one, or I was just working out of the boredom and looking up possible holidays. But today, today I’ve decided to look and get the brain moving.

This is a very exciting thing. Something like when you have a new lover and you secretly make love on an almost public place. I will happily answer your question why. Because where I sit, people walk around all the time, out and back of their offices. They can even see my screen but because of the font I’ve chosen, they probably won’t be able to read what I’m writing. Or maybe some of them will, and then they will talk. Talk about me, how weird I am, having a very suspicious MW file open instead of emails.

Few minutes ago, Samantha walked around my desk. Her eyes are ridiculously big. You can’t imagine how big, and she puts massive eyelashes on as well on a daily basis. Samantha has a little baby boy what irritably only makes you feel like as if that was the reason why her eyes are so wildly open, maybe she can’t cope with everything at home. But then you see her in the canteen, talking with her colleagues and laughing you start wondering. Wondering if the name Samantha is actually a match for her, and if she really has a little baby boy. Maybe she’s only worried about work, feels under stress and keeps her eyes open just in case. I feel like she could see what I’m writing if she walked by again.

A much harder thing would be describing Petra. This is because I know Petra’s real name unlike Samantha’s.
Petra is a beauty, the most naturally beautiful person at our work. When she started, no one could believe she isn’t from a Disney film. People like to be in Petra’s presence, because even if the shittiest words would be going out of her heavenly shaped mouth you would like to sit there and stare at her, no matter what gender you are. But she is, of course, not like that. She is very intelligent and her voice is smoothing.
At this point I straighten my back and try to remember what her negative traits are. Ah yes, she is probably a real s**t. No this is not original enough, she must have a darker secret. It’s even hard to think about this possibility when you see what she looks like.

Petra’s had 2 good friends �" Katie and Susie. Someone with my personality type can only hardly describe the feeling when those 2 are around, wonderfully upgraded by a fact both of them were a part of my work team. Katie is now gone, one big jump for my dark soul. Katie loves parties and dicks and wear almost no clothes whenever she can show what she’s got. She loves being loud and wants an infinite amount of friends. Susie is similar from the inside, but she’s got self-trust issues as she looks like a cute fur ball, rolling forever around and being angry at everything she can, to show her cute temperament. When you first meet her, you think what a nice cute girl, there’s something about her. But she’s actually of the worst character you can imagine, the kind of person who cares a lot about her family, but would kill a stranger if she thought it was right. This fact is considerable because of the way British people include human rights in their everyday life. Maybe this would make Susie think twice about her murder. What I’m completely sure about is that Susie would never hesitate to kill someone emotionally or mentally.

Then there is a bunch of people at my work, who have better times than us. I am now talking about Janice, Fiona and Vilma. I like Vilma the most, everybody else hates her the most out of these 3.
Janice used to be my friend but that’s now finished. She’s a very strange person, I’ve never met anyone like her before. People think it’s difficult to approach her, or at least they thought, I had to approach her on a daily basis because she was my working partner, and we became somewhere very close to the border marking friendship, but now I think we have never made it through the line.
Fiona is a sex addict. She isn’t beautiful in an inspiring way, but she is sexy and good to look at. She is very funny making her sex jokes and telling sex stories even on work meetings, people love her and she’s younger than she looks. She used to be Johnny’s girlfriend. I think now, after all that happened, that they actually are a good match. But Johnny managed to get Livia as a girlfriend now, someone I was thinking of dating too. I was actually wanting them both, first Johnny and then due to very crazy circumstances, I wanted her to maybe be my first girlfriend, but I am a heterosexual woman.
Vilma is a little bit like a dictator of a poor and confused country. She is very intelligent and her intellect is why she’s where she is, and she could go much much further but I think she’s become very lazy at some point and became happy where she is. She has a lot of responsibility and always helps me in a most unexpected way. She is also a bit too fat, how unfortunate for such a good tough face.

That’s pretty much everyone who matters today, Everyone I can make up stories about. Stories that include a dark and entertaining truth behind.