Me Inside

Just how I was feeling on Saturday night. 4-26-08

 

I see a path before me, and I will follow it not knowing where it goes.

In this path, I know that there is changes that I have to make.

The knowledge of life is what makes me feel the way I do.

I feel like a child who has been locked away from the world.

But I have done this to myself.

I feel like I have cut myself off from those I love, and who love me.

But for what purpose?

Why have I done these things to myself?

The experiences that I have been through should make me stronger,

not weaker and insecure.

Not shallow and withdrawn, but bold and brazen.

Life holds so much that I am missing out on.

Because I do not listen, because I do nothing.

Because I am afraid.

Afraid of what the future holds, afraid of where I am going.

Because I am not fully in control.

Because I can't make myself do the things I use to,

because I have lost a part of myself to myself.

If that makes any sense to you.

I need to find a place where I am truly safe.

And take it with me everywhere I go.

So I know that I will always be safe.

I don't know where I am going right now,

sometimes I don't even know where I have been.

There is no safety in that.

There is no hope in that.

Why do I go where I shouldn't,

why can't I just go where I need too.

Every journey begins with a single step,

and I feel to afraid to venture to new places.

Does any of this make sense?

It only needs to make sense to me.

It doesn't.

But it should.

Author's Note

I am not sure if this will make sense to many people or not. But it does to me. But I hope you all get it. Cause it is deep, and can mean alot to different people.

Reviews

[Deepshikha]

That is exactly how I feel sometimes. You did great with capturing the confusion and instability...Very nice! ^_^