Quiet Symphny

REALLY long story... Sorry mates xo Sorry for the typos aswell xo

I won't satisfy you with lies and false truths, but I wish to inspire you with true dreams and helpful words. Two worlds separated by locked doors but they manage to break through.

CHAPTER 1
September 4^th
           

 I awoke in bed, the clock ticking and churning as the gears wasted away time, never to be changed. The sheets I rested on each night seemed softer every morning, feeling the calming touch but knowing they never changed.  I pulled the covers over my head as my skin tingled from the small fibers brushing over my bare skin. I smiled rolling off the bed, pressing my feet along the chilled wooden flooring. The curtains stayed closed, shielding the room from the bright morning light. I always figured the outside world deserved more light than I did. I tapped my fingers along the walls before running them through my hair and then down my chest. I waited until I was completely relaxed, feeling the heart beat inside me start to slow. I was alive and well.
           I stared at the mirror along my wall. It was big and clean, reflecting everything in the room. It even portrayed my naked body. I paced around slowly listening to the clicking of my dog’s heels against the floor behind me, as she copied my motions. I looked at the mirror and smiled, waving to the image of me. Mirrors helped me feel open, knowing there was someone in another world who'd do exactly what I'd do without feeling any shame. The difference though, he was able to express himself through words, facial motions and gestures. I was the hopeless one, unable to cope with the right and wrong. But I was me, and I was special. I had always been special.
         The ever changing pace of the world was immensely fascinating and I wondered why no one else knew it. With an everlasting feeling of hope I flourished and continued with my thoughts. Charlie.-my dog- rolled her tongue from her neatly clasped jowls and released a loud series of barks and howls. "You're right.... I have to work... I have to work..." I sighed rushing into the foyer. Slipping into my shoes and neatest clothes I quickly thought about this morning and paused, scanning myself in the mirror. How was this possible? I had an overwhelming sense of sadness as I stared but my train of thought was soon interrupted by the sound of Charlie's tedious barking, signaling I would be late. I turned and said my pained goodbye before slowly but surely I started making my way to work.
        Charlie, being the smart one in our relationship was right. I was late yet again due to the small distractions only I witnessed. I worked at an art shop in phoenix, selling and teaching people about music, graphic design, CD's and records. I loved the sounds and styles of music, never able to focus when it was around. Each song was different. Each band having a certain goal and style they performed with. Some people would stare while trying to search for music. Others would ask me questions when I'd run my finger tips over the small creases on records but I could never tell them why. I'd ignored them in reaction, coming off as rude but I didn't know what to say.

For being late yet again I was forced to work the night shift, with the small extra amount of

overtime pay. I was worried knowing Charlie was alone, having no one to care for her.

      "Was she alone?" I mumbled.

      She was smart, knowing where her food was and how to gain access to water and other objects. Alas, she was still a dog and the tune of the world was cruel to her kind.

      What if she was hurt?  

      Or What if she escaped and was taken as a stray? The pessimism angered me then. I grabbed a record I happened to own and set it gently against a smooth cloth, slowly running my fingers through the creases. My minds tension eased but not enough to say the least. Around nine o'clock that night, my nerves were tense and I was a wreck. I had no reason to be but couldn't help it. I had the Houston Orchestra playing softly to calm my nerves.

"Um, Hello. What's that song playing....?" She asked. I looked at her cautiously feeling my stomach churn unable to find the right words to say. I was terrible with people but I had to say something.

            "You're very pretty." slipped through my lips. I quickly turned around and formed my hands into fist, hearing her faint giggle.

            "It's cute how nervous you are..." She chuckled. I slowly turned around and gave her a nervous smile. "Anyway, what was that song you where listening too?" she chuckled. I suddenly noticed the song I was listening too and sighed heavily feeling my fingers start to tremble.

            "We're closed! So leave." I said quickly grabbing my things. She stared for a short moment before setting down the record. She smiled and grabbed her things, heading toward the door. She waved before disappearing.

I sighed and quickly headed home after locking up the shop. My nerves where taking control of my mind and I couldn't think straight. I threw my things inside and looked around, loudly calling Charlie's name. I stood on front of my mirror and stared, noticing the face of my alter ego. They were sad and shaky as if they had witnessed a crime. I stood in confusion, wondering what had happened but I wasn't sure I cared. I heard the rough clicking of claws in the other room.
            I quickly made my way into the next room and found Charlie scratching at the counter. I looked and found I had forgotten to lay her food on the ground.

            "Oh Charlie... I'm so sorry... I'm sorry..." I said setting her bowl down. She barked, quickly eating her food. I dropped to my knees and ran my fingers along my hair. I was ashamed knowing Charlie hadn't eaten and it was my fault. She gave me an empty look before lapping at my face letting me know it was alright. My phone rang so I grabbed it of the counter.

            "Hello?" I said trying not to sound defeated. My friend Beck called asking if I was busy tomorrow. "No..." I mumbled. "Okay....I'll see you tomorrow. Tomorrow... yeah."  I said before hanging up. I slid onto the ground and yawned, exhausted from worrying. "Come on Charlie.... Let's go to bed" I mumbled, slowly pulling off the floor. I threw my shirt off and ran my hands along the scars slowly not wanting to remember the history behind them. I slid under the covers feeling the comforting threads once again. I was happy to be home but the only thing I could think about was that girl and Charlie. But once again, I trailed off into other thoughts.

September 5^th

 

I woke up early from the sound of Charlie’s frantic barking. I tensely moved towards her direction and found her at the front door. I rubbed my tired eyes and slowly pulled it open to see Beck standing in the way. He smiled and stepped inside, already making himself at home. He and I stepped into the kitchen as he started grabbing the carton of eggs. I grabbed a towel that happened to be spread over a chair and threw it over my bare shoulders, staring at him calmly. “Hello.” I said as a soft smile spread of me. He flashed me a taunting look and nodded in respect. I swung my feet back and forth, quickly growing angered for not playing my music.

“You’re dog doesn’t seem to like my company…” he grunted glaring at Charlie in the other room. I turned and looked at her with a soft smile. I didn’t understand why he couldn’t tell Charlie was just worried. I could see it, why couldn’t he? Was he blind? I didn’t know and I didn’t care too.

“Why are you here? You said �"““I said tomorrow. It’s Tomorrow.” He snapped, handing me a plate. I stared at the neatly made eggs before poking them softly, glancing at Beck. He came over and sat across from me with waves of bad vibes from him.

“Oh, Oh.” I said grabbing my fork. He sighed as he started to eat, watching me pick at the egg. Beck was a serious man, always angry at something or someone. I always thought he never got any sleep. Did he sleep? I wanted to ask but I couldn’t find the words.

“Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about that School I told you about. I gave them a few of your articles and they wanted you in. They said they’d pay you for it too… All you have to do is sit around and talk to people for a while.” He said with an irritated sneer. I wondered why. I watched his expression fade from anger into jealousy. “Basically you’ll help figure out if people are telling the truth or not… Since you’re good at that already” he sneered.

“I am… I am?” I said puzzled. I looked around before stopping to stare again.

“Yes… For example, I almost got into a car accident the other day. This man went through a red light and caused a major wreck with another car. I was lucky to get through...” he grunted, stuffing his mouth again. I stared at with a soft glare, running my fingers along the table before I spoke. “You lied…” I said unable to help myself.

“How do you know?” he chuckled, giving me a devious grin.

“Because, your veins would’ve popped out because… it’s what you do. You flat out lied through your teeth… It was obvious.” I said angered. “I don’t like it.” He laughed as I spoke.

“Anyway…. That’s what you’ll be doing”

“Talking… Can Charlie come too?” I asked quickly. I continued poking at the eggs, not hungry enough to eat them. He stopped eating to give me an ‘Are you serious?’ look before giving me a shrug. He got up from the table and threw his plate in the sink. He circled the table and pulled open the curtains, letting the bright light brighten up the room. I flinched slightly as the warm sun hit my skin.

“You need to stop leaving these closed… It’s not good….” He grunted. “Anyway…. I have to go to work and so do you. Stop being such a child and do something…” he snapped, heading for the door. Charlie started barking at him, soon breaking into a snarl. He ignored her and left. I sighed, resting my head against the table.

      I didn’t like having Beck my ‘Helper’ but I couldn’t do anything about it. I needed his company. I left my plate and went to get dressed, slipping into my uniform and my shoes. I stared at the mirror slowly lifting up my shirt to gaze at the scars on my stomach.

Dropping my shirt I fixed my hair in the morning, waving to the other me before heading back down into the kitchen. I set Charlie’s food out and gave her a long pet before grabbing my phone and the papers Beck had left about my new job. “Talking…. Job…Work.” I paused and quickly felt a chill, remembering the girl I had saw last night. I felt dazed but soon tried to shake the thoughts.

I wasn’t late this time which lifted my mood. I wasn’t sure what mood I was in. Was I happy, sad, glad, at ease, worried? I couldn’t tell. The shop had just opened so I had time to listen to my music. I sighed and watched the door as the soft melody of the Orchestra ran through my brain. My music ended as the same girl stepped into the shop, holding the CD in her hand. She came over to the counter and smiled, giving me a soft gesture. I smiled, laying my head along the cool counter top as she watched me.

“OH! Um, Hello… again... Uh, I forgot to pay for this CD… I really liked it.” She said with an awkward tone. Why was this?

“Very nice” was all I could say, my palms were sweaty and I couldn’t stop smiling. She looked at me and slowly handed me the disc. I read over the description and set the disk down, climbing over the counter. She gave me a puzzle look as I went over to the rack she had taken it from. I scanned the titles until I pulled out a fairly different band, gesturing for her to follow me. Hesitantly she did.

 “Yes. Err… Yes.” I chuckled, unsure why. I took the CD and put it in the CD player and waited for the music to start playing.

“That CD… I didn’t like it. You don’t like it. I know it. You thought you did. But… this is better…” I said hesitantly, stepping away. She listened to the music calmly before her jaw dropped as he faced me.

      “I think you’re right…. I do like them better. A LOT better” She chuckled stopping the music. I gave her a nervous smiled as I took the CD and put it in the case. I headed over to the counter as she froze where she was, still baffled.

“My names Fraisher by the way… Fraisher Eve.” she giggled, slowly dancing over to me. I flinched, adding up the price before I turned to face her.

“My names Samuel Booth… But I go by Symphony.” I wondered if she’d care. Could she even hear me? I felt like I was speaking so softly only my brain could listen.

“That’s a cool name.” She chuckled as I handed her the CD. I climbed back over the counter and took a seat, looking at the ground behind her. She sighed and handed me a small piece of paper with her number on it. “Call me when you get off work.” She smiled. I took the paper and stared at the numbers. The numbers where placed in a specific sequence I knew but I didn’t know if I liked the order of them.. I was OCD about everything. So I took it and crumbled it in my hand, listening to the crisp paper crunch. I blinked realising what I had done. She watched me for a short moment with a hint of sadness in her eyes.

“Oh… Well… never mind.” She said looking ruined. I watched curiously as she grabbed the CD. I grabbed her wrist in reaction, not wanting her to leave. I bit my lip and quickly grabbed a piece of paper. I grabbed my pen and scribbled downs the pattern of my number, quickly handing it to her. She gave me a curious glance and then took the paper with a weak form of a smile.

“Thanks… I guess.”She said. I watched her leave with a smug smile on her face, gripping the paper tightly with the CD pressed against her chest. I waited until she was out of sight and I was alone again. I tapped my fingers along the counter quickly trying to calm my nerves, unsure of what really happened just then.

I liked it.

This I was sure of. I smiled to myself and wasted away the day with my record, just grinning.

I got home and Charlie was asleep so I figured I sit with my Mirror. I sighed, resting my head on my palm as I stared at the other me. “Hello” I said. “You are very quiet today… You seemed flustered and confused. Why? Of course there doesn’t have to be a reason… but if there was, what would it be? Would you please tell me?” I asked. He was silent as the wind. I fell backwards and thought to myself, crossing my arms along my chest. I was exhausted and confused. I had no idea why. I had no answer to these questions so I just slept the day away, waiting for the answers in my dreams.

 

CHAPTER 2

September 11^th

 

            I didn’t care much for the small jobs I do for Beck because he is also my Psychiatrist. He’s more of a malpractice sort of doctor… But he does help me whenever he realizes I am distressed or hurting inside. There was a day when I was about fifteen and I was sitting outside and I couldn’t stop crying because I felt like I was exploding in the inside. My head was swimming and my brain was telling me to do nothing but cry. So my sister, unsure of what to do called Beck and he came over and made me stand up. I cried harder.

            Really hard. In fact I wasn’t sure I was even crying because everything blurred together. He asked me what was wrong, and I said I couldn’t breathe and my head hurt. So then he asked me if I wanted to go to the Zoo. I stopped crying. I wheezed hard hoping to regain my breath, and he gave me a towel to wipe my face and we went to the zoo.

            Animals always calmed me down. The innocence of their survival had always puzzled me. I wanted nothing more than to be an animal, and escape the world because they I wouldn’t be looked at different. I would be considered a freak. I’d just be an animal. Doing what animals do…

 

September 15^th

 

            I sat inside the Music store with my one and only friend Morgan and we sorted the CD’s, marking down prices and doing the usual store clerk duties. He and I had been friends for as long as I could remember. He even got me the job I have now. He asked me a lot of questions about Beck and how my family was doing. He always asked me questions. It made me feel like I was more than important, because no one ever asked me questions.

            Fraisher had walked into the store that day, which made my blood pressure rise higher than I ever thought possible. Shee smiled and  gave me a wave. I smiled and looked back at her as though no one was watching. Morgan shoved me, giving me a serious look. I flinched and slithered over to the counter and watched Fraisher silently.

            She was beautiful.

            I  mumbled under my breath, letting my fingers tap hard against the counter stop. Her physique was beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful and I couldn't help but notice. 
Although Morgan got tired if my constant staring and came over to consult me.

            "Either make them buy something or stop being a creep." He mumbled, shoving my head. I blinked, finally noticing the other person in the store. It was a friend of hers, somewhat taller but shorter than I. She was fierce and full of energy, laughing up a storm as she walked over to me.
            I laughed, because Frashier laughed.

            Maybe if I laughed she'd smile at me too. 
            "My name is Elaine, and this is Frashier." Elaine grinned. So I grinned. She handed me a couple magazines and I stared hard at them wondering what it was she liked about them. The hunky musicians, the gossiping articles or simply just the pictures… I didn't know. Eyeing Frashier I handed Elaine a receipt and smiled.

            "Hey umm... I was wondering if maybe I could have your number..? Frashier told me you--" 
            "Yes." I said. Grabbing the receipt I quickly scribbling down my number. She blinked before turning to Frashier and handing it to her. My heart ached inside my chest watching her smile disappear. Morgan hummed silently exchanging looks with a few more employees.
            "Alright well... I'll call you." Elaine smiled hard. They left the store and I took a deep breath, closing my eyes in silence.
            "Dude. Wake up." Morgan smacks my face lightly. I opened my eyes and exhaled hard, gasping for air as the situation finally hit me. He gave a reassuring smile and went back to work.    "You clearly don't talk to girls often.." he chuckled. I thought about it long and hard. I really had only ever talked to my mom and my sister. They were girls. I shrugged slowly staring at my silent phone. When was she going to call? I didn't really care for Elaine. I was hoping Frashier would be the one to call. They both had my number...
            That evening I had a session with Beck at his office. He stared long and hard at me, watching me play with small objects like pens and pencils.

            "So Morgan told me you gave a girl your number…" He started. "Two of them as a matter of fact. What were their names?" He scribbled something down.
            "Frashier Eve, and Elaine." I mumbled. I sprawled out on the couch, and buried the pillows atop my numb face.

            "Well Sym, you should be happy." Why should I be happy? "You are finally making some good progress." He smiled. I watched him through the openings in the pillows and mumbled under my breath. I never really liked anyone as much as I had this one girl named Genie. She was smart, beautiful, courageous and accepting. Whenever she smiled my heart pounded and I couldn't help but feel happy. She was good to me until I had hurt her…
            I gripped my pillows and started to sob. It was only a matter of time before ire happened so I didn't fight it. I just felt sick to my stomach and wanted to leave. Beck obliged and decided to drive me home. I tried to stop crying for his sake, knowing he'd get mad eventually but it only made things worse. In theme car we listened to "Timeless" by Airborne Toxic Event, and by the end of the song I couldn't think properly. The lyrics were more than enough to stop my water works, but my anxiety soon kicked in so I was frantic and paranoid the whole ride.

            Beck didn't ask why, he just have me a few looks here and there making sure I was still okay. When we reached my apartment I got out of the car and started shaking nervously as my phone rang. Beck gave me a serious look and said only one thing.

            "Forget Genie, before you forget yourself." I watched his eyes go cold and went inside. I answered my phone with a hoarse tone but I tried to be polite as possible.
            "Hello?" After all my crying my own voice startled me. It was rough and deprived.
            "Hey... It's that girl from the record store. Frashier Eve." I almost dropped my phone hearing her say her name. Unlocking the door rough my apartment Charlie barked loudly greeting me with light nudges and constant tail wagging. I coughed and quickly remember I was on the phone.
            "Hey--"
            "You have a dog?! That's so cute!" she exclaimed. I shrugged without realising she wouldn't be able to see it. Taking my shirt off I went upstairs into my room and sat on my bed.
            "I’m sorry for calling so late. I was gonna call sooner but I didn't know when you got of  work..."
            "It's okay."
            "I was just somewhat lonely, my family is asleep so I just wanted someone to talk too." She said with a short smirk. I listened to her breathe softly.

            Maybe she liked me enough to call.. Or maybe she was just out of options.
            "Frashier," I bit my tongue hard realising the conversation wasn't going anywhere. "You're very pretty." I choked out. "I mean... Never mind." My heart sank. What was it with me saying she's pretty? I could help it...

            She was beautiful like Genie...
            "Thank you Symphony. I really do appreciate it." she giggled.

            I smiled.

            After that she asked me a series of questions about my family and my job. I really wasn't doing anything buried giving short responses and smiling. I couldn't stop smiling. I felt like I was in a whole new world when she spoke to me. Eventually it got late and our conversation ended. She said her goodbye and goodnight and hung up the phone. I quickly saved her number and just stared at it.
            "865-822-8189... 865-822-8189.." I whispered over and over again. Charlie jumped in bed, nudging me with her nose. I smiled hard at the number, and just let everything in my mind disappear for once. Everything was gone and I could just think... So I did. 
            I thought about Genie.

Author's Note

Again, really long. I apologize. Also I apologize for the typos and such.