Project Problems

CHARACTERS

ANNA: 15, sophomore, has known Neil since childhood though they are not good friends, “C” student, procrastinator

Neil: 15, sophomore, “A” student, known ANNA all his life - not good friends with her.

LIBRARIAN: Middle aged

SETTING

Public library in small town. Everybody knows everybody.

TIME

Late fall, present.

SCENE ONE

ANNA, 15 years old, reading a book, lounging at a table in a public library. Bookshelves set at intervals. Table at stage center.

Enter NEIL stage right, carrying books

NEIL

(whispers)

Hey, did you finish your research for our project?

ANNA

(normal speaking voice)

No, why?

NEIL

Pipe down would you?  This is a library.  Anyway we need to finish the history project by Monday or-

ANNA

(whispers)

Or what?  We’ll get marked down a couple of points?  Relax, research isn’t the most important thing for the project.  What matters is that it gets done.

NEIL sets books on table

NEIL

I don’t intend to get a B on this project because you refuse to do your part.

NEIL shoves a book towards ANNA

Get busy.

ANNA

You’re just mad because you always get stuck with me as a partner.

NEIL

No, I’m mad because you think that you can get away with not researching for your project.

ANNA

Like you’ve never BS’d your way through anything Mr. Perfect.

NEIL

That’s not the point.  

ANNA

So you have BS’d your way through an assignment.

NEIL

OK.  Fine.  I had to fudge some of the sources on my term paper last year, but that was only because I chose an obscure topic.  But that doesn’t mean that it’s OK, it just means I was being an idiot and it was too late to change the topic.

ANNA

So Mr. Perfect develops a fault in his hardware.  How ever will you cope?

NEIL

(frustrated noise)

How do you do that!  How do you always turn the fault back on me?

By this point ANNA and NEIL are speaking quite loudly and people are starting to stare.

ANNA

(smiles)

It’s all part of my charm.

NEIL

Listen, this is the last time my grade drops because of you.  Last time we worked together you didn’t finish your half of the project until the night before, and it showed.  We got half points on all of your assignments, and full points on mine.  I swear Anna, sometimes it’s like you don’t understand that maybe you’re the one who’s wrong.

ANNA

(beat)

I don’t-

Enter LIBRARIAN Stage Left

LIBRARIAN

Both of you need to leave.  Now.

NEIL

Actually I was just going.

ANNA

Neil, I didn’t...

Exit NEIL Stage Right

SCENE TWO

Outside the library.  ANNA has followed NEIL to the parking lot.  NEIL is walking away.  Both are on the sidewalk near the library.

ANNA

Neil!

NEIL

Do you really think I want to be lectured by someone like you?

ANNA

What do you mean someone like me?

NEIL

Someone who thinks they can get away with anything if they are witty enough!  Someone who never does their best because they consider it beneath their notice!  Someone who doesn’t care how they affect others!

ANNA

Me?  You think I do that?  You think I’m really so full of myself that I never regret procrastinating or doing the bare minimum?

NEIL

Yeah, I do.  And I think you do it because you want something to complain about in your life.

ANNA

Well look who’s talking.  You know you do the same thing for all of you AP and IB classes?  It’s all you ever talk about!

(imitating NEIL)

“Oh look at me!  I’m so special! I can take all these AP classes, but there’s so much homework!”

NEIL

I do not do that!

ANNA

Oh sure you don’t.  You also don’t specifically take the electives like Introduction to Dance so you can meet girls!  Do you realize how unoriginal that is?

NEIL

“Unoriginal?”  That’s your only problem with me?  That I’m just one of a couple hundred guys who think they’re clever?

ANNA

At least when I fudge my research I make up sources better than “A Guide to LASERing” by Bill Nye!  Seriously Neil?

NEIL

First of all-!  Wait, how did you know that?  Only teachers are supposed to have access to final term papers.

ANNA

(flustered)

I… Um… I was the TA for Mr. Svenson last year.  I wasn’t in his class, so he let me organize the term papers online and print them out and stuff.  I just… I couldn’t let you mess up your grade so…

NEIL

So… what?

ANNA

So I kind of changed the names of your obviously fake sources.  It really wasn’t a big deal.  It took two minutes and it wasn’t that hard to make up some more reliable-sounding sources.

NEIL

You… You did that for me?

ANNA

I didn’t even know you then.  It… It was just such a good paper.  You practically mocked Mr. Svenson in it and I

knew he would never get the joke, but I didn’t want you

to lose points because you couldn’t come up with anything for sources.

(beat)

Neil?

NEIL

I just… Yeah ok… I just never would have expected you to do something like that for someone you’d never even met.

ANNA

Well, I’d never pass up an opportunity to see a teacher become a laughingstock.

NEIL

(nods)

So….

ANNA

So d’you wanna get started on the research?

NEIL

(smiles)

Yeah.

Author's Note

I apologize for any formatting issues. Reviews welcome :)